Eleven embers

We called it a sun, but it was a pyre, A beautiful, jagged, and merciless fire. For eleven long years, we circled the flame, Changing our lives, but never our game. On again, off again"a ghost in the hall, Waiting for someone to finally fall.

They say that hurt people go on to hurt more, And we proved it true behind every closed door. We took all our bruises and made them a crown, Building a kingdom just to burn it all down. What started as honey turned slowly to gall, A malice that poisoned the pride in us all.

I yearn for the version of you in the light, Before the sharp edges took over the night. I ache for the "us" that we tried to invent, Before all our mercy was broken and spent. But love isn't love when it’s used as a blade, Or a debt that can never be fully repaid.

Eleven winters, and eleven springs, Of pulling the stitches and fraying the strings. The cycle is weary; the cycle is through, I cannot find healing while holding to you. To love you is trauma; to leave you is breath, To stay would be choosing a slow, quiet death.

So I open my hands and I let out the heat, I’m conceding the war and accepting defeat. May the ashes be still, may the shadows depart, I am taking back what is left of my heart. We are finally finished. We are finally free. Go find the person you were meant to be.

Reviews

[Twilight]

Well, I don't know the context in which you felt inspired to write this. Clearly, it's not written like a traditional poem.

After the line "Pride in us all", it looks as if you then started a paragraph within a story. Well, there is certainly a good dose of emotion inside this piece; and one could also say that it's "burning" with symbolism or metaphor?.

After all, in various cultures and belief systems, "burning" death and rebirth can be interlinked. And, sometimes in the context of a life "cycle"; which you have perhaps indirectly hinted at?.

It phases me though, not knowing precisely what inspired this. At a guess, failed love or the failure of some project; may have occurred prior?.

And yet, as the phoenix of legend, rises from the ashes of death. There can be opportunities in life, for your very ideas themselves; to be reincarnated in new forms?. Even with love, you are free to try again; should a relationship have perhaps failed?.

In the first part of this piece, the hurt from a struggling love between a couple is implied. It can sometimes seem that way, even when it's going well. After all, partners can burn with passion for one another.

In the second part of this emotional write (following the line "Pride in us all"), I felt reminded how a passionate bond between two lovers can be exhausting. Also, how that love can be manipulated into a tool; and weaponised. After all, the pain can run deep?. And, it also made me think of the woman feeling helpless and trapped by her lover; but ultimately realising that she needed the bitter "cycle" to end?. Thanks, for sharing.

[LisaCarol]

This was very touching and so well written. A breakup after 11 years is difficult and sad. “I yearn for the version of you in the light, Before the sharp edges took over the night.” This line is so well stated as sometimes relationships turn people into a person they never were meant to be. I’m glad you are back and hope to read more. Did you finish your book?

[Hallow]

"But love isn't love when it's used as a blade, or a debt that can never be fully repaid." Shivers. Beautiful, beautiful poem. A lot of raw reflection. Great work, and thank you for sharing.

[Antifranticbabydoll]

I was hoping to capture what I was truly feeling inside. Thanks for the review! I'm back online!

[Hallow]

You did amazing! I look forward to reading more of your stuff!