We vs Me

Not done yet

We’ve watched the sky fade from purple to blue

We’ve seen the yellowing sun glow orange

We’ve hiked to the tallest mountain,

We’ve watched the horizon

explode

Into richly coloured gems

 

We’ve watched to the end of movies,

watched the until the end credits rolled.

We’ve listened to the end of a cd,

heard the infinite silence and the twirling CD.

 

We’ve spent infinite days together,

with infinitely more to come.

But why do I feel like I still

don’t really know

you?

 

I know your favourite colour,

yellowy-green,

I know your favourite drink,

Sprite.

I know your favourite socks.

 

But I don’t know why you get so irrationally mad,

why you sometimes scream and bang me

against the cupboards.

Why you always say it’s my fault.

Author's Note

It's not done yet, I dislike the second half.
I'm going to keep working on it, cause I feel it has potential

Reviews

[ice]

If "it's not done yet", it is very close. I like when a poem wears a mask..hiding from some kind of reality in the first stanzas, then progressing to the point of where the reader can peek under it.. like the Lone Ranger, it fights anyone who might try to remove it..But the last stanza shows the eyes of the poem...its true identity..
I enjoyed reading this, and suggest you read some of Selenes poetry...some of it is topic familiar..
Nameste
ice

[Tony]

I dig your words! Nice flow and build up to the sudden contrast in the final stanza to deliver your message. Really like your use of contemporary language in the second and fourth stanzas-- and how you create the images of a relationship here.

[.]

. incredibly well written ... but incredibly sad too ...

[.]

This is heart wrenchingt really, I like the imagery alot, especially in the last two lines. Very expressive write.

[deeps]

Whoa! This is really sad, I am sorry if this is real.
Feelings are very well expressed and this is very well written.