Lost

A Story by Aralynne36

A breakup monologue, something slightly relatable for all, since we have all been there before.

Lost love is still love. It takes on a different form, that is all. You can't see them smile or hear the excitement in their voice as they ramble on the phone, you can't hold them close or feel their pulse singing in their veins, but when those senses weaken another one awakens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold on to it. You dance with it.

Memory is all that is left after everything else has been broken down. When there are no more letters to burn, no more nights listening to sappy love songs on repeat, no more tears and bitterness and anger… all that remains are mere fleeting images of a once thriving relationship, leaving you to retrace and analyse and walking down paths desperately clinging to anything that may

still be real.

I have known love. I have held it. I have hugged it tight. I have lost it, and I have never felt pain so immense.

A broken heart can't be mended, since when you love someone, two hearts are traded, and they will walk around with yours forever.

The souls of old had a description of this. Something stronger than a soulmate. A twin flame- your other half.

Maybe holding on so tightly to everything that was right was where my greatest mistake lay, since I found out again and again that there are two sides to every coin. Every story has both light and dark, both laughter and pain, and each person has their own version of who was right and who was wrong when it comes to a matter like this. Refusing to see the negative until it swallowed me up whole is my regret. When it swallowed me, it destroyed you as well, and for that I will always apologize.

Or perhaps my greatest mistake was something far more severe. You see, I loved with all my heart, and that is something only a fool would do. Giving yourself up this completely, this entirely, means that when it inevitably comes to an end, there is so much that you have lost. You have spent so long living for someone else , to give them absolutely all you are, that you forgot to keep anything aside for yourself.

You end up defeated. You end up lost.

Stammering around in a darkness, even though you may have some sense of direction, you will still be blinded by the sheer pain radiating from your once filled heart.

It is awful, isn’t it? Trying to move on , seeing yourself be forgotten by someone you will never be able to forget. Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew.

Will I mend? Perhaps. It is very likely, given enough time, that a person can heal from anything, even a part of their soul that has died off.

Will I ever again be whole?

No.