Aussie Rules

Strength of serve, or length of pools?

Don’t even argue -- you won’t win.

Eight balls an over?  Just give in.

No point fighting Aussie Rules.

 

Accommodating?  Yeah, like mules.

Amenable to consultation?

Better save your respiration.

Aussies play by Aussie Rules.

 

What of cute romantic duels?

If you want to talk to Sheilas,

got to get down on your kneelers.

One thing works -- that’s Aussie Rules.

 

You want to argue?  Hide your tools.

What’s give-and-take?  What’s by-your-leave?

She’ll have a hammer up her sleeve.

Blood’s often drawn in Aussie Rules.

 

This bird won’t suffer whinging fools.

No Metternich, no Franz Von Papen,

it’s HER way, or it doesn’t happen.

Three syllables, mate -- Aussie Rules.

 

Author's Note

(1) There is a game, vaguely related to recognized field sports but with wacky regulations all of its own, known as Australian Rules Football, or Aussie Rules.
(2) Eight balls an over – in the game of cricket, an over is a phase of play consisting of six pitches, or deliveries. Australians insist on eight, in defiance of the rest of the cricketing world.
(3) Sheilas – Colloquially, every woman in Australia is referred to as a Sheila (no doubt because of the preponderance of Irish women named Sheelagh in the first wave of European immigration).
(4) Metternich, Franz Von Papen – two examples of stylish, highly-educated European diplomats (not quite the average Aussie woman’s style).