You Ought to Be on the Stage

(It leaves Dodge in half an hour)

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
For, after all, you caused this nasty rash.
I've had to take more pills than Johnny Cash,
and still the bloody thing won't go away.

While some may think a marriage of true minds
is what we have, I harbor lingering doubt.
A window lets the inner light shine out,
but in your case, somebody drew the blinds.

Your eyes are nothing like the sun, it's true.
While solar rays are parallel, at best
your left eye scans the north, your right goes west:
the hoodoo in your view is due to skew.

You think I wrote this? Sorry, you're mistaken.
The Earl of Oxford has no taste for bacon.