When?

This about not knowing about how anxiety started or when it was first experienced, just remembering it always being there.

I can't remember when I had my first panic attack

I can't remember what started them

All I remember is them being there

Every time I heard of a new illness

When I worried that something was wrong with me

Every time I had to sit alone after a struggled morning

All because I felt too awkward and too scared to make friends

I don't know why I became so scared of my future

I'm supposed to believe in God, in what He has planned for me

Am I being sinful? Am I doing everything all wrong?

My chest tightens. My sins a constant reminder of why I can't reach out for help

"What if I'm never forgiven?
Calm down

Breathe in

You'll be okay, you always are

Stop telling yourself that"

Is what I tell myself every time, those same words

Because deep down I know that my anxiety is something I'm not stuck with on my own

God will always forgive me

God will always understand me

I can reach out for help

I do have friends who care about me

And even if I didn't, God would always carry me through my dark times

Author's Note

Okay, so I understand this isn't the greatest thing ever but what I tried to do was rush it to make it represent the panic and the short amount of time it takes for a person to be fine one minute and to be having an anxiety attack the next. Please do share how and if this benefitted you so I know how to help people in the future and how to do a greater job at it :)
Stay safe out there everyone, lots of love

Reviews

[Davidgeo]

The first stanza is a universally good way of describing mental illness. It is frustrating to deal with things we cannot fully remember the origin of. Every human feels that I think. Mentally ill or not.