Lost Hope

Nothing I still feel (I've fixed the relationship with my father that was once broken) but it was a legitimate and hard feeling for me (as well as probably him) and I wanted to upload it for that reason. (:

My father slept nights, not worked

like some did. It was a lover’s fix, I said,

I said. When the phone rang, and rang and rang,

the message taking my breath as I tried

to return the call, to ease the ache

no ginger could heal – I was not calling out

to you, but to him,

saying please, I apologize, I’m just the way

you know you love me, grades

a suggestion, language

repeating, I’m me, take me in,

take me home. The way he was

was not halfway, not a fine thread

but a bone-deep anger caught

in a tempest of parenthood – remember

when he would hold me amongst

the stars to keep me warm?

Loved nights were what I wanted.

Please, please, it rang

and rang. I told you I loved you, I loved you,

but did you listen?