Chapter 1: Hell

Tristan was an angel, but he wouldn’t be for much longer. He was already quite a failure at it. Sean, a teenage boy he had to give guidance, would be his last charge.

 

Sean was about to cut himself again as Tristan inserted thoughts into his head to try to stop him. Even though the thoughts sounded just like Sean’s voice, he had come to suspect they were in fact not his own.

 

Why don’t you get out of my head! It’s not like I’m going to kill myself, he thought to the voice inside him.

        

Then stop cutting yourself. You’re only making things worse! the voice replied.

 

Sean slid the blade into his skin. The sweet release of pain shot through him, and he smiled in happiness.

 

You know it doesn’t last long, the voice commented, but Sean didn’t care.

 

All those tormented nights he had lied awake, listening to his mother’s screams of pain as his father beat her. Now, he thought, I can feel it too and this way I’m in control.

 

Suddenly, the bathroom door creaked open. In his desire to cut he had forgotten to lock it. His girlfriend Lindsay stared at him in shock.

 

“Oh my God. I didn’t know it had come to this,” she said, small and quiet.

 

Sean’s blissful joy fell into rage. “I said I would meet you at the park tonight!”

        

“I’m sorry!” she cried, before fleeing from him.

 

He tossed the knife onto the floor and fell against the wall. It had been inevitable; she would have found out eventually, but he couldn’t let her tell his parents. Grimacing, he picked the knife back up.

        

Tristan knew he had to intervene. After seeing Sean pick up the knife, he thought of how he was going to save Lindsay.

 

The moon was dark that night above the park as the angel disguised himself in the appearance of a young man unlike himself. He followed the couple through the shadows, not making a sound. Finally, they paused by a flickering lamp.

 

“I can’t take this anymore,” spoke Lindsay, breaking the silence. “If you can’t tell your parents, I’ll do it for you.”

 

“No, Lindsay. Don’t you see? This is why I can’t trust you,” said Sean, his hand trembling as it reached under his shirt. That was Tristan’s cue.

 

He ran toward Lindsay from the shadows but before he could get in front of her, Sean had plunged the knife into her heart. Tristan was too late.

 

He stopped in his tracks. All he could do was watch in horror as Sean pulled out the knife and she collapsed to the ground. Then, Sean’s eyes flickered toward him.

 

“You saw,” he hissed, raising the knife in his hand. Fresh blood dripped from its edge.

 

Slowly, he moved closer. Tristan was frozen in place. He had never failed this badly. Why was it always his fault? This time, he couldn’t accept it. He had to blame someone else.

 

Sean was right in front of him, ready to repeat his act. You betrayed Lindsay and your mother, said the voice in his head. Stop killing people before it’s too late.

 

While he was distracted by his thoughts, Tristan grabbed the knife from him and stabbed it in his neck. Then he disappeared, leaving the bodies of Sean and Lindsay behind. No one would ever know what really happened.

 

Tristan knew he had to fly away but not from Sean. No, he would go with him…to hell, away from God. Or else, God would punish him for his crime.

 

Dropping his disguise and spreading his wings, he flew after Sean’s soul. The path to hell was a dark one. If he lost sight of his faint glow he would have to find another way. Sean was being drawn in so fast, Tristan could barely keep up.

 

Suddenly, gravity took hold and Sean fell, Tristan gliding down to him. When the angel landed, the boy had fallen flat on his face. Tristan smirked at him without realizing it.

 

“Why don’t you wake him?” questioned the cold voice of a young man. “I’ll let you do the honors, since it was you who killed him.”

 

Tristan glanced everywhere but he couldn’t see anyone else. They were in an open courtyard, dimly lit by the gray sky above. Drawing his sword, he shouted, “Show yourself!”

 

The man appeared in front of him, wearing black pants and a black T-shirt that read KILL in bold red lettering. He also carried a sword sheathed at his side. He was the perfect age, like Tristan; not young, but mature, without wrinkles or any signs of aging. He had all the characteristics of a demon: fangs, pointed ears, and a tail. What shocked Tristan the most was that he had the same black hair and blue eyes.

 

“Who are you?” Tristan asked.

 

“Who am I?” the demon repeated. “I am the one who led you here. I’ve taught you to listen to your pain, fears and desires ever since you were created.”

 

“You’re Satan?”

 

The demon smirked, the mirror image of Tristan only a second ago. “That is precisely who I am.”

 

“What do you want?”

 

“Your services, of course. Just think about it. There are lots of things you could do as a demon, punishing the souls of the damned or capturing the souls of humans.”

 

Tristan looked at Sean. He was waking up now, stirring slightly. Satan kicked him over onto his back and he startled awake. “It won’t be any fun if he’s unconscious,” Satan teased.

 

“What are you talking about?” Tristan demanded.

 

“Killing him. He killed Lindsay in cold blood and then he tried to kill you. He doesn’t deserve a soul. Since he’s trapped in hell, you can cut him out of existence.”

 

“What? I’ve never seen him in my life!” Sean cried out, staring at Tristan in shock. “He’s not the man that killed me!”

 

“Quiet, you fool!” hushed the devil.

 

Tristan gripped his sword. “Do I have to?” he asked Satan, the last white feathers at the tip of his wings finally turning to black.

 

“Yes,” the devil answered with an amused smile, “but if you’re nervous, I’ll tell you a little story first.

 

“I was once an angel like you until I rebelled against God. I fought against him, but he overpowered me and cast me into this place. However, that did not come without a price…”

 

Satan turned his back to him and took off his shirt, tossing it to the ground. Tristan gasped at his scars. His wings had been torn from his flesh. When he faced him again, he said, “God cursed them to never grow back. You were wise not to make the same mistake. Now you are ready to prove yourself to me, by slaying this boy who cowers beneath us.”

 

Cold sweat ran down Tristan’s face as he looked into Sean’s pleading eyes. As much as he hated it, he pitied him. Wasn’t being trapped in hell enough? Satan watched him expectantly.

 

“I must not have made myself clear,” said Satan, drawing his sword as well. “Kill the boy or it is your blood that will be shed.”

 

Tristan’s focus shifted toward the devil. Somehow, he had to break free from the trap he had gotten himself into. He tried to fly away, but Satan quickly stabbed him through the shoulder and forced him to the ground.

 

“Foolish angel,” said Satan, twisting the blade inside his flesh. Tristan cried out in agony. “I offer you all I can, and you refuse. If you descend to earth as a rogue, you will lose your powers. If you die, you will never be able to visit the earth again and will face judgment. I can’t allow any of that to happen.”

 

“I would rather die than clean up your mess!”

 

Satan laughed darkly. “And what if you are a part of that mess? Then you know what your mortal fate will be. Eternal damnation. I will ask you one more time. Will you kill this boy?”

 

“No. I will never be like you,” Tristan replied, glaring menacingly into the eyes that mirrored his own. Satan pulled out his sword and blood spilled from the wound. Before Tristan could defend himself, Satan slammed the hilt of his sword into Tristan’s head.

Reviews

[Achaicus]

This chapter is ver ygood, I'm not telling you because of some sort of politeness, because if i don't like something i say it clearly that it was bad, more likely in my language that it sucked heheh...but this is a good start of a good story. What I especially like is when satan turned his back to tristan to show him the scars, and the way you described it.

[Rob Santana]

Hi I'm Creeper. I think this is an awesome beginning to a very dark story. I love it. I see you've joined my group DARK REALM. I would really like to feature one of your chapters in our group. Since you're new to the group You have the honour to choose what chapter or whatever other writing you would like to have feautred. I really look forward to reading the next chapters. Let me know which piece you have choosen and I will feature it.

[Sheik]

I want to feature chapter two.

[Rob Santana]

You got it. I'm going to post it now.

[Sarafina7910]

Very good. It caught my interest. Looking forward to reading more.

[Hester Vane]

A good concept and a strong start. I particualr like the idea of Tristain being the voices in someone elses head. All I would say is that, in some places, the sentence structure and order of words stumbles the flow of the piece. But thats only minor and nothing a re-read and an edit wouldnt sort out. A great start though, you should definatley post more, its a great concpet with alot of potential for development.

[ShadowHawk]

Hiya, I like the plot its always a good idea to throw subtle hints as to what may come.

[Danielle]

I am already very interested. I hope we get to read more!

[ksmchick1999]

This is interesting. I like it, and I hope you post more of it soon!