Where Are You While I lose You

 

Where are you while I lose you

Where are you while I sit here and lose you
Where am I while I lose you…

Your eyes are closed,
your breath is slow and steady.

Where are you,
while I sit here and look at you?

Your beauty is unaware of its existence.

Love, relentless love,
left in despair…

 

Where are you while I lose you,
Why are you somewhere else when I sit and look at you;
Where am I, while I am losing you…?!

Reviews

[Vatsayayana]

This is haunting and perhaps (please forgive me here) I am putting too much of myself within the words, but this makes my heart ache so. I've sat next to someone, time and time again, wondering how I can be so close yet so far away. Wondering where their mind is. Wondering where their heart is. Wondering what went wrong. Wondering why I can't express how I feel. Wondering why I can't just open my mouth and talk to them.

Your words are haunting.
They've truly touched me and made me wonder......

[T.B. Odin]

There is power and depth in the emotion here. I begs to burst forth and consume the reader. So many questions about life that are suggested indirectly, but painted clearly it seems is someone dying. It needs more filler to help reveal what is going on.

[Melissa A. Bergin]

This poem has a depth just waiting to come out. There is a lot of feeling in this poem, and I can clearly see that the character within the poem is being pushed to ponder deep questions about life.

But, I can't see what is going on, I can only imagine. And right now the only thing that I can relate it to is someone dying in a hospital bed. You may wish to consider imagery.

[Poetic Sinner]

it feels like you're growing apart with someone who was close to you...it feels like you are losing something unique and there is no way to stop it.

once again great poem

[the eyeball kid]

loved this poem...excently written...going to my favorites.

[Conspiration Libre D'es..]

Like the dreaminess of this. Sort of makes it etheral. Hope the love was realised.

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

had to come back for another round, i love this~john

[Kevin Donahue]

It's like she can sense her lover who is so near but yet so far away. It tugs at your heart.

"Your beauty is unaware of its existence". Appealing to read as a man, as she is aware of his beauty from a distance, like telepathy.

Consistent with the three other poems: a great longing with hopes to be fullfilled eternally.

A pleasure to read this morning.

Kevin.

[Being.john.sweet~The Ev..]

ooh dear...the sadness...i have to tell you i love this kind of writing...thank you for sharing this with me....~john