Tears of the Moon ☾

this is not a story or poem or dream, its as real as my breath. An unexpected beautiful experience I had in my mind on one random night.

TEARS OF THE MOON ☾

You sneak out in the middle of the night just to get ended up at the lake unknowingly, alone. like part of you belonged there , You sat on the stone.. soaked your legs inside the lake...

Lips r red, hairs turns slightly red.. your eyes starts to shine upon the moon light but it's actually your tears which starts to fall into the lake...wind tries to wipe it off of your face but fails.. you close your eyes but as tears continues to drop nonstop, feels like it belonged there.

you don't feel cold as you realized you have been sitting there for Long time. Stone warmed you, but failed to warm your heart. As butterflies dances around your face, whispers wishes you to open your eyes...it will all be ok.

your mermaid tail forms, white and blue from waist and the tip is of the beautiful red tail, shiny innocent freckles across your nose and as you undress, Sky itself gets shy, covered the moon with clouds for instance, as mesmerized by your beauty, deer & fireflies, fishes and the stars, moon and the all, along with your own reflection in the water falls in love with you all over again..as you leap into the lake and swims up and down, sets to the center of moon's reflection, Moon hugs u comforts itself as fallen part of it returned.

As you swim back to shore, Wished the night never ends. Wiggles your tail. Sigh, dressed up, came back home.

The lake was empty, filled by your sad tears as it all happened inside my happy tears. I wiped it off and slept on the other side as This is the story of the fallen mermaid which I'll cherish forever.

Reviews

[ameliarose]

Hey Ash. listen, I came across this beautiful piece and I swear, it stopped me. and I’ve gotta say, I’m honestly in awe. Sure, it could use a bit of polishing, but the soul in it? It’s real. I can feel what you were trying to say. It hits me, connects with me in ways you seriously can’t even imagine. It’s truly, truly remarkable. The way you wrote her pain, her heartbreak, that crushing loneliness and how the moon becomes the only thing holding her, like she’s got no choice but to sit in that sadness. it hit me hard. I saw myself in her. That feeling of being unloved, unsure if it’s work, betrayal, cheating whatever the cause is, you captured that heaviness so perfectly. And the lake? Filled with her tears, that image just destroyed me. It says everything about how long she’s been carrying this, how deeply she’s suffered, how she’s still enduring all of it. how she’s still somehow holding on. Please, I need to know what happens next. you understand her so well and I’m not asking for a fairytale ending, but if there’s even a chance for a little light, a little hope for her… I’d really love that. Consider this a heartfelt request. I can’t wait to read the next part. Thank you.

[lizzie]

Hi! Your story was a pleasure to read the emotions feel authentic, and the flow is beautifully balanced. As an artist, I couldn’t help imagining it in comic form.
I’m a commission-based comic/webtoon artist. If you’d like to discuss possibilities, I’d love to chat.
Instagram: lizziedoesitall

[Michael]

There is often a voice of mysterious wisdom speaking to us in our dreams, a voice that whispers to us the sum total of our pain, our fears and our desires. “Which portions of my dreams,” we ask, “do I import to my waking life where it will do some good? All? Some? None?” Perhaps the answer will come next time we dream.

[Sophia E.]

This was a great flash fiction and a wonderful read. I love the way you describe the girl’s transformation. The way the words tumble over each other is very poetic. I would just focus on basic spelling and grammar to further refine the story.

[AshAngel]

🧜🏻‍♀️......... 🌙......... 🌌

[Chris Shaw]

I enjoyed reading you. A little fantasy by the lake under the light of the moon. A mermaid tale with some lovely description. I like how you have introduced the elements and creatures of the natural world. Keep writing AshAngel.

Chris

[AshAngel]

thanks so much for taking your time and reading it. .....yea sure, i will keep writing .i'll try. gud night.