Trying to Remember How to Deal

It's a bitter feeling

to start at the beginning

and already envision the end

I know we still have a while

and staring at that bleak day

will make all these good ones flash by

I don't want to miss them

or forget them

But when I begin to let go

When I start to smile

and imagined slap in the face

swells in my mind

and I am shipped back into reality

the reality I created

after the first time we went through this

I don't want to let myself reach

that high, that excitement, that happiness

Only to crash down again

Because, the truth is

even thought you're lying next to me

I already miss you.