I Miss Your Noose Around My Neck

They tell me it's just as easy to fall in love with me as it is to fall out.

after him,
i promised myself
i'd never feel that way again.
to give yourself to someone,
so fully, completely
is knowingly loading the gun
they hold against your head.
and it's not a question of whether
they pull the trigger or not,
but rather a matter of time
before he leaves you and
you die somewhere else,
with someone else,
and you still miss the feeling of the barrel
against your skin.

Author's Note

I wrote this in August after a yearlong relationship with my ex ended so cleanly I questioned whether the entire relationship ever meant anything at all.

Reviews

[Andrew Nelson Stewart]

Love is like playing Russian roulette, the pure adrenaline of it all. In the line "so fully, completely
is knowingly loading the gun
they hold against your head." Made a foundation for the poem in my opinion how everything like the pain, the uncertainty and most importantly the ending. Ends up feeling familiar, the spot where the gun use to lie leaving you 50/50 chance probability either way you still getting pain. I caught this message while reading. Keep writing sincerely your friend in writing and life

[Ardra]

I like the ending..and how you compare love to a fully loaded gun... :)
Mmm. When you give your all....you are being vulnerable...and without opening up...it can never be love...you need to trust...even when you know it may never have a happy ending...but without letting the fear take you... somehow opening up we do experience the beautiful feeling and then maybe the memories will help... ..
:)

[Demii]

Long relationships really take a toll on someone, and not knowing why things ended the way they did always make yous question everything, what and why. I can really relate to this, good piece!

[Jamestown]

Nice piece of work, people will be able to relate to this! Thanks for sharing and b-blessed!