Rising From Ashes

I wonder if my silence speaks louder than crowds,

Voices whipping around me like a breeze.

And on impulse I open my mouth.

The words that tumble form a pile at my feet.

I blush.

 

Yet criticism at it’s best,

Leaves me to wonder if my castle is falling

And my guards are abandoning me

As I can’t speak.

For at the moment the crowd is closing in.

Their eyes steal my breath.

 

My mind works to find a hot topic

One to shock them all.

And it comes, like the moon

shedding light on the darkest shadows,

Exposing my deepest thoughts.

Then I am unveiled. 

Reviews

[Bethany]

Brilliant.
I love the castle metaphor, and how the words are presented as physical objects, falling and piling up.
The last line is powerful - great stuff :)

[Betsy]

Thank you so much. It was an exercise I did for my creative writing class.

[drandolph3]

Well written, it reads smoothly. I also liked the analogies, very refreshing and visual.