guilt

How do I cope when everything is unraveling.

Each strand is coming undone- I cannot stop the future from coming.

I look back at my mistakes- smiling at me with evil glares. Licking their lips.

Smothering me in guilt. In hopelessness. In tears. In regret.

Would it have been different? Could I have done better?

My heart aches with anxiety. My lip trembles and a lump reaches my throat.

Will it be okay? Will I make it through next year?

What if I ruin their life too? How can I live with myself. How can I love myself.

Imperfect, selfish, irresponsible. Human.

But I could have done better. Oh I cannot calm my soul.

I know I am forgiven, then why this guilt. Why must it stay.

I must quiet my heart. Rest. Trust. Strive to do better and forget the past.

Move on. Find joy again, and learn from the past. I must. I must.