Sorrow

Time seems to pass slowly, only when she's alone.
Her heavy heart gets light as tears, settle down in the snow.
Inside her mind's a brewing war, of love and hate and pain.
Confusion is her only friend and agony keeps her sane.
The allure of depression wears its lovely crown again today.
So she succumbs again and asks "why am i this way?"
The very thing she swore off doing, is what she does with ease.
Then rue and regret haunt her soul till she wants her heart to cease.
She can't recall a time back then when she was ever free.
From the torment ridden being she knows and now describes as 'me'
One day she lets herself fly down a quiet mountain's side.
Letting go of all she is, and that's the day she died.

Reviews

[Kate Z.]

"The torment ridden being she knows and now describes as 'me' - the best line in a beautiful expression of deep hurt. The last lines are temptation, sometimes strong and compelling, but will never lead you back to freedom. Write, write, write until that voice is silenced!

[Avia]

Thanks for the encouragement. I appreciate it.

[AcasualPawn]

Beautiful lines full of sorrow...........
Great read

[Avia]

Thanks I'm glad you like it

[AcasualPawn]

Its my pleasure

[Najam Us Saher]

I like the tone and rhyming of this poem. The journey you have expressed by your words, I could feel it your emotions, heart touching and relatable. I truly liked it.

[Avia]

Thanks Najam, always a pleasure to get your feedback.

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.

[InkStain]

I really liked the rhyme and the rhythm of this piece up until the last two lines. I don't exactly know what it is but it ruins the beauty of the rest of the piece for me.
Also, on the third line you missed the 'a' in 'and' :)
Other than that, I just love it.
Reading this kind of reminded me of dancing. A smooth slow ball dance, dreadful yet beautiful.
I loved it and will definitely read more.
InkStain

[Avia]

Thanks for the correction. I will read those last two lines again and see about restoring the rhythm.

[Avia]

The words just came to me, i actually wanted to write something else. What do you think?