But you don't see it

Words of a broken heart

The light in my eyes has faded
But you don't see it
Salty water drips down my face
But you don't see it
My heart has been badly bruised
But you don't see it
I'm on my way out that door
I just want you to see me
One day you'll look for me
But you won't see me

Reviews

[Srchaud]

These words ring so true. How many times in our life is our pain ignored and unseen by others.
The end is my favorite because that to me is the truest part. When ending a relationship sometimes we want nothing more then for the other person to beg for us back-to be seen. Yet as time goes on and they change there mind -one day they look for us.
At this point are pain turns into gratitute that they let us go knowing we could do better and will never return-hence you wont see me.

[Avia]

Well said... Thank you.

[OnlycallmeKathryn]

I love the last two lines! They're powerful!! I'm a fan of your poetry. Stay great :)

[Unspoken poet]

I just want you to see me
One day you'll look for me
But you won't see me

LOVE this part, This is full of feeling. I can feel it tug on a heart.

[Avia]

Thanks Avani. I'm glad you like it :)

[Amrita]

You write so beautifully :)

[Avia]

Awww, thank you. :)

[anonymous_at]

I can relate to it..... It really feels suffocating when you become invisible to those.... Who are near to you... But as matter of fact... We clearly start to think about the denials we receive from them and forget about those who can actually see right through us..... Great work

[Avia]

Exactly. But there's something to take away from those times when we think no one cares. Sometimes its even just our minds keeping us from seeing things clearly thanks for reading :)

[anonymous_at]

you are welcome...:)

[apennylate]

*Welcome to "Pure Rhymes" Thanks for joining, great to have you...!*

You don't see it, I do not see it... The bruises from the door, and eyes drawn-black from fights... The taste of salt without an accompanying morsel... Always signals bad... Blindingly open poem, but will we see it...

[Avia]

Thanks for the welcome☺. Nice write up. I just hope we don't get hung up on people who won't see us.

[apennylate]

Agreed, and most welcome...

[Najam Us Saher]

One day you'll look for me,
You have hope, that is good but don't be discouraged if that person doesn't realise and seek you. Heartfelt words, made me a bit emotional. Loved it.

[Avia]

Yh, hope is really hard to let go of, even when it's not changing anything. Thanks Najam.

[Najam Us Saher]

You're most welcome.

[Smoking Man]

Inspiring and melancholic reflection when love is lost.Nice flow and great depth to this sad but yet inspiring piece of writing

[Avia]

Thank you. ☺

[Smoking Man]

You're welcome 😊

[emipoemi]

Remove from "I don't think...." to "....don't see me" (for those two lines just undermine the power of the whole piece, and they're implied by the previous lines), and this would be absolutely divine! Well freaking done!

[Avia]

This means so much. I've made the corrections and I think this is better. Thanks a lot 😊

[Matthew Kult]

Dreadfully Invisible

Great Read

Matthew

[Avia]

Thanks Matthew :)

[Matthew Kult]

You are welcome

Matthew