Anchored

Can't move on, babe I've done nothing wrong

To touch a smile,

Kiss the creases where the lips curl

An impossibility

Reality

murders me softly.

Chained by apathy,

Anchored in burnt ochre earth

Feet tied to the place we farewelled.

Here I welled

Antipathy.

My eyes can't look at you any other way.

They sting, 

burn, 

cry.

Stuck where we said goodbye.

To stroke the sun kissed skin

of your broad shoulders

freckled 

My fingertips-

Anticipating.

Loneliness was never part of the plan

Heart wrenching pain 

Screaming

Re-iterating

Emptiness.

Howling to the four winds

Cursing to gods of nothingness

False low currs

As the vultures circle

And I await to die

Here

Where you said goodbye.

Kill me softly

With hands bound

But mind free.

Just touch the smile

and see me.

 

Author's Note

I was possessed.

Reviews

[Dinesh Sairam]

This greatly reminded me of one of the songs in my language. It says "Sparisamo thuli visham" ("Embrace is a pinch of vile"). Your poem is like a long, beautiful explanation to those words.

"Stuck where we said goodbye.
To stroke the sun kissed skin
of your broad shoulders"

I especially loved 'Sun kissed skin'. :)

"With hands bound
But mind free."

WOW!

This is going into my favorites ;) 100/100!

Keep writing :)

[Miss Coral]

This was a beautiful expression... powerfully written, but gently expressed- it doesn't seem to make sense when phrased that way, but that's the best way I can describe how this made me think.
The middle seemed a bit muddled, but the beginning and end were both clear and concise.

Love the language and word choice- very effective emotions throughout this. Great write.

-Coral-

[Molafvt]

Haven't we all been possessed at some time in our lives? I like what our friend Dinesh says about embrace also. This is very smooth read with a wonderful easy flow. This and the last stanza got me....."Howling to the four winds
Cursing to gods of nothingness
False low currs
As the vultures circle
And I await to die
Here
Where you said goodbye.'
Oh yes Mam, I know the feeling quite well. Thanks a lot or reminding me-NOT...! LOL Great write and fluid read jen, possessed or not.

[Dan]

Painfully beautiful

[Tea And A Cheshire Smil..]

An emotive piece. I loved your descriptions - they created a rather vivid image in my mind. Powerful poem :) Great work.

[RDOriginal]

This is a very emotive poem dealing with the nature of loss and the inability to move on.

What struck me first when reading this poem was the rhythm that emerges. It seems quite awkward, almost as if the narrator is reluctantly recalling painful memories. We're slowly learning this story of loss but it's being revealed in shocking installments. A good example of this would be the very first line with a mere four words to the first comma and then a torrent of emotion pour out unrestricted, only finishing with the agonising statement, 'reality murders me softly'.

My favourite part of the poem is the repetition of 'welled' so close together but with such a different meaning, 'feet tied to the place we farewelled, here I welled'. It highlights the fascinating ambivalence the English language can sometimes have and the two lines really mirror each other so nicely.

This poem reveals sense of loss and hopelessness the narrator feels. As readers we can almost imagine her staying on that spot forever. Whether it's metaphorical or physical we cannot help but feel for her and that's why this is such a poweful poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this poem. A little bit of everything in the poem. Your description were very strong and you create a wild vision. A outstanding poem. Very powerful and direct.
Coyote

[FlawedByDesign]

Filled with feeling and driven by sorrow. A great tale of abandonment.
I love that you've used this kind of structure as it lends itself to much more powerful and provocative feelings. The lines with single words bring them into a spotlight and gives the reader a sense of what you are going through.

The only negative I have to bring up is the line,
"burnt ochre earth" - burnt and ochre mean the same thing so having them side by side, creates a redundancy.

Nicely done.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

tragedy so tigtly coiled~yet you unwind it in grace~though pained it may be to paint a canvas of such sorrowful hues~ in your hands it becomes a beautiful tragic tale~

[Desert Dreamer]

It feels like time stopped when you said goodbye, the world stopped in that moment...and it does feel that way sometimes when love ends, as if you can't go on with your life.