Apology

"There are two recipients, but more than one love." Written, re-written and revised many times. (February 2011)

I hate me, I love me.
You know me, I'm sorry.
With fumbled complexity
I'll hand you an apology,
I can't be how you want me
So why don't you leave me?

I'll just keep giving.
Yes, you should hate me.
I can't keep taking.
It's hard to bear with me.
Crack and we're breaking,
But you will forgive me.

I love you, you're angry
As always, I'm sorry.
I'll plead for your mercy
As though you could want me.
We're backwards and falling
But always, you'll need me.

I'll just keep giving.
Yes, you should hate me.
I can't keep taking.
It's hard to bear with me.
Crack and we're breaking,
But you will forgive me.

It's so hard to see
Why you could love me.
I think selfishly,
I won't let you be.
I'm manic, intensely,
You struggle to breathe.

I'll just keep taking.
By now, do you hate me?
I've given up giving.
Leave me with your sanity.
Cracked, chipped, we're broken
Now tell me you're sorry.