So this poem, I wrote it while on vacation, enjoying the peace of nature. In that stillness, I remembered the girl I used to be unbothered by things, wilder, unafraid. I’m happy now as well, but life back then held a simpler joy. This poem is a tribute to my younger self and the part of me she will always be.
Hope you guys enjoy reading it!
My Review
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The carefree days of youth. Then we grow up and our serious side starts to run through our veins instead of the young girl dancing in clover. This is both touching and relatable. Sometimes my inner child stands looking at me in the mirror, but she’s gone in a flash. Reality has a habit of kicking in unwanted. Lovely work dear poet.
Chris
Posted 5 Months Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
5 Months Ago
Thank you for weaving your thoughts into the fabric of my poem. Really appreciate it.
😊
Wow, beautiful done in rhyme and rhythm and a story I think most of us can relate to. I am in my seventh decade of life, and when I look back at the things I did as a younger man I absolutely marvel. I am curious, your profile says you are 16; 16 and already looking back on your younger self? Your writing for someone your age is marvelous, I hope you keep writing, I think you have much to offer.
Dear Ayesha. You are an amazing writer. Your words took me in, and you held me till the last words.
(And though the world forgets her name,
That version burned, became my flame.
She still walks barefoot through my mind,
A ghost I never left behind.)
I am old. I have many ghosts that haunt my dreams. Thank you, dear poet, for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
I'm soo glad that my poem resonated with you...
I really appreciate and value your time and .. read moreI'm soo glad that my poem resonated with you...
I really appreciate and value your time and words!
The part of you that you will always be, shows so much promise at such a tender age. "A silence louder than the page." How extraordinary a light you have nurtured with poetic expression. So wonderful to meet you, Ayesha!
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Endless thanks to you as well dear poet for your review.
:)
Hi,
I am scared even to drop a review for your poem Ayesha. You reminded me great friend in my school whose name was ayesha sulthana, her religion was as you know by name musalmaan. She was very good friend by nature but poor in studies. So in exams inused to show my answer paper, atleast she wants to pass and now she is settled with a teacher job did her MSc and teaching kids. In islam people just give birth to many as god wants not to cut their family with kids more than 2. Their belief is when God is giving will be not mak us survive. But I see very smart musalman nowadays keep their experiences not beyond their ability. It's not that they are breaking what their parents believed, because when it burdens god will help but God had given intelligence in making their dreams true with happy living but few misused their intelligence in doing wrong, they say they learnt but every step they are taking its a pit fall...what is that lady craving for breaking the family law, I know she needs a man who can take her to bar, dance there, get food and bed. I don't underestimate what people are making use of their body now and I think God's s decision is best even though how much explain she is stuck in becoming a heroine travelling in bmw sucking so much to get mood of it.
I see it's a torture but whatever the decision he takes it would be best maybe a poor mother cheated by or a young woman falling in pit and a drunkard roaming with gogules in rainy day without concern to a beggar that asks a rupee to fill his thirst
I know my son is not a weak neither a justin Beiber but my age old Aryan and Dravidian breed who can take best decision.
I am waiting for the best things to happen not that we are getting wet to stop rain where it fills dams to be stored for food grains to grow ..
Jessy Jacob
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Hi Jessy,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and memories with me. I feel touched th.. read moreHi Jessy,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and memories with me. I feel touched that my poem reminded you of your dear friend Ayesha Sulthana and the bond you shared with her. It is beautiful to hear that she has now grown into a teacher and is guiding children.
I understand the reflections you shared about life, faith, family, and the choices people make. Everyone has their own journey, and as you said, in the end, God’s plan is always best.
I truly appreciate the time you took to write to me with such honesty and depth even though your message did confuse me a bit, but I understand. You didn’t say anything bad... all you said is true. Still, if you're having some trouble or issues at home, I'm be glad to lend a hand so please feel free to talk to me if you ever feel overwhelmed.
With respect and warm regards,
Ayesha
4 Months Ago
Hi
Thank you for kind reply. I just don't understand God ways, why he is not worried about pe.. read moreHi
Thank you for kind reply. I just don't understand God ways, why he is not worried about people who are suffering. It takes time, not before they fall. I feel like myself bestowed with greater responsibility like God and God needed my help. But God I see he is strict in caring the innocent. I don't think there is better way to change people unless they can plan to let them know how people are suffering is just futile. I think we being God's people leave it and ignore and just wait for time.
People forecasted I will be with family and kids, that thing never happened. I am lost with health too nowadays I am just keeping on writing and I don't understand why I am losing my own control. People are hurting eating my mind, changing my imagination. I feel I am better but few people are spoiling my health. I am loosing my hope of to live. I told my situation to my son and he said try to be safe but I felt he is angry with me that I am without proper taking care of my health. I miss my son so much and my life is getting wasted in serving prostitutes who are spoiling my health.
I am never interested in writing I don't see in dreams but I make my dreams come true..I help the suffered and now I am doing what? I feel sometimes my life wasted.. I don't think I can live longer though healthy..
You take care of health With out it you are burden to yourself, hope you understand.i hav my both parents and they are taking care of me.
I need to give hope to my son too that I am there, with this writing here I don't know whom I am making happy I don't see you are happy here in this site seeing others poetry...
I need atleast a safe life not that lie of killing me with giveup or an accident.
Now I erase more than I write,
And fold my dreams away at night.
Those two lines really hit me. They rhyming in this poem is flawless. There was a movie that came out in 1989 called, "Shirley Valentine". Your poem reminded me of the scene when Shirley is juggling grocery bags walking home in a rain storm. She sees someone who knew her when she was single. That person says, "Whatever became of Shirley Valentine?" We do tend to change as we get older and responsibilities pile up each day. You are still the same person though. Perhaps hidden beneath negative experiences. As you can see, I really enjoyed this poem. Lydi***
Posted 4 Months Ago
4 Months Ago
Thousands of thanks for your kind and thoughtful reflection on my poem. It means alot.
I really loved the rhyming and rhythm of this poem. It was beautiful to follow the melodic pattern of it.
I knooowww what you're talking about!!! It's those rose colored glasses we have when were younger. I was very adventurous too when I was littler so I can totally relate. Now its almost like there is so much thought that goes into things, which can be good or bad.
I loved how you said "the vision blurred became my flame." Because in reality we are still those people and even though things have changed, having that childlike awe that flame that burns within can stay alive. It can stay a flame. I was inspired by that line. 🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰🥰
Thanks for sharing another wonderfully written poem Ayesha🤗🤗🤗🥰🥰🥰
Posted 5 Months Ago
5 Months Ago
I deeply appreciate your kind and lovely review. You did an amazing job pointing out the cnetral the.. read moreI deeply appreciate your kind and lovely review. You did an amazing job pointing out the cnetral theme of my poem.
This is one piece with which I relate so well. It reminds me of my own days when nothing mattered more than that joy that comes from knowing am free from cares, burdens, and all the things I grapple with today. And yes, that girls is still there, I will find her. I hope we all find her.
Posted 5 Months Ago
5 Months Ago
Let's find her together...
Thank you so much for your visit and kind review of my poem.
My name is Ayesha Faiz. I’m a 16-year-old girl from Pakistan with a deep love for words and expression. Poetry, for me, is more than just writing... it's a way to feel, to connect, and to make s.. more..