The Meaning Of "R"

A self-reflective scribble

I never had a prom dress.

I never had a graduation party.

In fact, I never even went.

I took the road that people only traveled whenever they actually wanted to fall down and scrape their knees, pick themselves back up, dust off and become grown. I took all the back roads, complete with non-exsistent outlets and side-trails of heartbreak.

That was me. That was what I did.

I'm better for it, if not full of anguish, at how this world will kick you down. There's nothing worse than knowing you are trying to put back together the pieces, you've glued it all back the best you could, and people still look at you like a f**k-up. It will just never be good enough for them.

R is for rage. Rage at oneself for not achieving childhood dreams.

R is for regret. Regretting that you didnt have the drive you always thought you did.

R is for repent. Repenting your mistakes and asking for help. Not everything can be done alone.

R is for reconciliation. Looking at yourself in the mirror at what you've made yourself into.

R is for risk. Risking the grades of an entire semester to search and forget about the one thing you held dearest.

R is for rove. Roving from one love to another, trying to fill holes that people left carelessly gaping and hollow.

R is for rust. Clean it off, start to see and wake again with purpose.

R is for RIP. Rest in peace always the young girl who could never find her way around without somebody's help. That ship sailed many moons ago. Give yourself another chance to win back your pride, love. You will find dignity and faith in places within yourself you never thought you owned.

R is for rest. If I spend myself all in one place I'll wish I'd saved a little more, just in case a hint of possibility glimmers around me, like fireflies on a summer night.

R is for refuse. Refuse to become a statistic. A number, percent or evaluation of what they think you'll end up like.  F**k statistics. You are your own.

R is for repeat. Be careful with repeating; some things should never be, no matter how much I think I'd enjoy it.

R is not for you. R is for me. Probably the first and last thing I'll ever say I've truly owned.

R is for.....reset.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very cool... I like how you look at who you are and who you want to be for that is the only way we know the direction we need to go... I give you and R for respect.

[Matthew Webb]

Sounds like I need to R myself....R..peatedly.

I don't generally have emotions other than .."meh" or..."ok" when I read other people's work for some reason but...I like this a lot. It's something a lot of people can relate to and hit home for me pretty hard, I've been feeling alot of R lately. Mine might be a S though, since you said R is for you.

I don't wanna be a dick and take your R.

[John Harden]

very nice write.