Circle

this was a piece Ive been working on for a while, im still not completely happy with it but its good enough, I got the ide for the flow of the poem from Neon Genesis Evangelion

...Blood
it flows,
so plentiful now
It exites me
the color,

 

Red,
such a powerful color
it overwhlems me,
it exhilerates me,
I feel alive,
I feel,

 

Warmth
the sun on my face,
the cool breeze,
so calming
I run my hand over the rock
so warm,
so

 

Smooth
the handle
of the knife,
it slices through skin
through muscle
through bone
and brings with it,
Blood...

Reviews

[Legion]

Wickedly vicious. Let it flow.

[Justin Tobey]

This piece is rather disturbing. Well done! :D

A great cycle poem with an odd subject. You did a good job! (Sorry if this seems confusing. I really did like it.)

[Constance]

This is your best piece, though considering your other pieces, it disturbs me a little...
(My comments are no doubt annoying you by now, you're most likely mad at me. I read everything because I know how it feels to feel as you do, and I know that it will pass. I commented because I care about how you feel, even though I don't know you. I remember when I felt like no one cared. I used to have books and books full of poetry similar to what you have written here. I still deal with some issues in my writing. I write it down, then let it all go.)
The flow here is nice, the adjectives clean and purposeful. You made pain and blood seem beautiful, as seems to have been your intent.