The pain of passion

this pain is overwhelming, I cant bare it. As I sit here, calm and quiet on the outside, i am truly lost.
who is she to ruin me?
To break that shell that I spent so much time and effort to constuct?
meant to protect me from love and loss?

I trusted her, I broke down the wall that seperated me from pain.
just for her.
I was willing to change, to give up my selfeshness, just for her
and then, when I was hers, when I would lay down my life for her,
she stabs me,
in the heart, with a knife, I handed her,
with a knife I taught her to use.

So as I sit here, calm on the outside but broken on the inside
I know;
never again, can I let this happen to me
never again, will I hand someone the knife
I will hunt down the kindness in my heart, the compassion, the mercy, and I will kill it all.
never again will I let myself be hurt