Last Conscious Breaths (Revised)

After living your life

Within its entirety

A mystifying question

Remains for the near deceased

Who'll be there too

Witness my last breaths

Of precious air

Reminiscent of a shinny glare

Meant to depict

This particular matter

As a lasting living stare

Behind two closed eyelids

Are two open eyed pupils

Witnessing from the top end

Within a sculptured hour glass

Are vacating aliveness sands

Setting above

An invisible equilibrium line 

Illustrated like a divider followed by

The bottom half portion

Defining why

A mortal existence

Remains present

Between the living & dying

Aspects of human life

As a transient being

Leaving a intriguing trail behind

For every willing

Witness & admirer

Aloud to follow and find

Their friend's life trail

Ending near their final death bed

During the event of their

Last Conscious Breaths

Author's Note

A revision of the original. All reviews welcome. Thanks for reading and enjoy

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

While I'm in not state of mind to ponder these thoughts today, I certainly admire this poem. It is well written. Beautiful flow and a profound question, what does linger on our last breaths?

[Rita L. Sev]

Wow. This brings me square into the room where my father drew his last breath - and I watched him do it. I have thought a lot, since, about what (if anything) was going through his mind - if he knew we were there, if it mattered to him, comforted him; if he was able to take my image (and my mother's and sister's) with him. I have no answer, but I wonder who will be my last image, who will hear my last conscious breath... For your ability to evoke such strong memory and ask such important questions, this is an outstanding piece.