The Sting Of Biterness (Two Word Revision)

Watching a dream

Go up in smoke

Like at demolition sight

Disintegrating hope

A time will convene

For animosity

To make its mark

Within our minds and hearts

Reminding us that

The Sting Of Bitterness

Must be avenged

At the fringe

Of a later due date

As long as redemption & not hate

Are optimistically negligent

At all costs

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Disintegrating hope
A time will convene
For animosity
To make its mark -- love this bit...another revolutionary piece.

You have such a way with words when it comes enticing and inciting language. I like your flow with this one; it is gradual, and yet sublimely intricate.

Redemption rings
as the tolling of a bell--
a harbinger of intrinsic sight
where mortals see with eyes
unshaded by the tides
of societal misconceptions

For are we not all creators?
Destructors of our own destinies?
Do we not hold in our soft hands
the power to change the world?

Just a little inspiration from you to me...and back to you :)

[Dana Alsamsam]

i do like the change! it could possibly even be more simple than that. just remember that simplicity is sometimes the most beautiful!