Non-influential People Are Just Life's Unwanted Hockey Pucks

I'm using my life's hockey stick

Offensively & Defensively

So moving out

Of my field of way

Will be

All non-influential people

Who never wanted to

Support the flourishing dream

Of my destiny

It's an envied net

I'm guarding on the ice

Social & Cultural longevity

Represent a marvel pedigree

Backed by personal integrity

So it's easy to be a negativity goalie

Stopping every slandering goal

From achieving scoring potential

On my life's score board

Without a need for a penalty box

I hereby declare icing on

A flock of my defensive opponents

By far all

Non-influential People Are Just Life's Unwanted Hockey Pucks

Author's Note

Just trying something that's different and creative from my usual type of writes. All reviews welcome. Thanks for stopping by and enjoy. :)

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

I really like this analogy. I like I need to get my hockey stick out :)

[Abdul Batin Osman Bey]

cool poem I liked the topic and the overall flow

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you know i love metaphor...and you carry this one through so persuasively...

the unwanted people, the ones who either get their sticks in the way of our shots on life...or the ones who impede our dreams like checking us into the board..

i like the goalie stopping the slandering shots, especially.

very cool write.

jacob

[kublakhan27]

This is my favourite piece by you to date...being a goalie, I was immediately intrigued by the title, and you worked the metaphor perfectly...great stuff :)

[Sheila Kline]

You have carried through the thoughts of what you want and do not want very effectively! I really like the last lines - as Rita has said, I agree that it would make a terrific tee-shirt slogan!
Your creativity is noted in a positive way my friend!

[Rita L. Sev]

I kind of want to put that on a tee-shirt: Non-influential People Are Just Life's Unwanted Hockey Pucks :)

You committed to the metaphor, and wrote an interesting piece here.

[Trevor Jay Bloodworth]

Interesting. I know we all sometimes feel like we're just unwanted. I liked the way that you touched on the "offensively & defensively" part.