Unadvertently Separated From A Heavenly Main Gate (Original)

We're afflicted by decisions

Made on behalf of humanity

Sin

Had forged heaven's gateway

Under lock & key

Redemption of our souls

Is the only way

To enter eternity

Since our earthly forecasts

As human beings have been

Unadvertently Separated From A Heavenly Main Gate

Author's Note

Still experimenting with new theme's here. All reviews welcome, thanks for stopping by & enjoy. :)

Reviews

[Kristin Lee]

The portrayal of light and darkness within the human condition is wonderful. You've used them in fresh ways that bring out your voice as a writer and really drive your point home.

[s y e]

I love how you're experimenting with new themes, and really writing them amazingly well. I really enjoyed this one and the one before, and like I said in the last one; I loved the message you have portrayed.

~ Noodle.

[Rita L. Sev]

We are certainly a species in need of redemption... good theme here.

(Since are earthly forecasts as human beings... - do you mean *our?)

[Pryde Foltz]

Okay Bpoet,

I have read many of your poems. And I think I am ready to offer you a serious critique. First off, you are talented and it really doesn't matter what I think. But anyways ... I truly admire this one and the one that came before. They subscribe to what I have come to think of as your style but are a clearer in meaning. Reason--fewer and better chosen words. In my humble opinion. ;) So what's left on the page becomes very illustrative and the reader doesn't have to reach as much for meaning. I think to it gives a stronger rhythm, too. And any metaphors really jump out. Yes, I like.

[RainDancer1997]

I like that your trying out new themes:) Very good poem also:)