In the Desert

In the desert,

            The parched sand

Indicative of my throat

In the forest,

            Moisture pooled on my tongue-

            Akin to the leaves

The sea…

            The sea deceived me

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

deception...that oasis that becomes a mirage...
love can parch the heart.
j.

[Brad Dehler]

Yes sir! thank you Mr Jacob!

[Veronica Staehle]

I like how you took me on a quick journey with an unexpected end—realizing we didn’t go anywhere at all except through your desert’s mirage.

Clever and succinct.

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you Veronica! Very kind of you to say. I appreciate your feedback and I am glad you took that journey, no matter the length.

[alanwgraham]

It is great to be presented with something a bit different Brad. You give us two apt metaphors and then the final one breaks the progression.
Short and sweet,
Alan

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you Alan. Yes, my poetry is raw and I am grateful for its uniqueness. The intricate diction can be challenging to readers

[William Michael Reeves]

Hard to sing through a mouthful of sea. Knowing the salt would kill your song you wisely did not swallow. The thirst leaves a mirage of an oasis, indicating you're not in a forest, but a cafe full of thirsty poets.

Billigami

[red93]

Like this a lot Brad - a nice informal colloquial quality and then it twists suddenly at the end.

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you Red93

[W. Barrett Munn]

This is pretty elegant. It requires reading more than once to get the full impact, and that is a good thing.
W.

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you so much. I whole heartedly agree. Thank you for taking the time

[K.P.H.M]

Amazing description! I especially love the last two lines.

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you KPHM :)

[olla]

what did you expect from a gigantic puddle of water.. was it truly deception or a result of misplaced expectation..

[Brad Dehler]

Right, right. Perspective is a whole other player. Right you are. Thank you

[Robert Haigh]

A poem to ponder! For some reason it reminded me of that great song by America, "A Horse With No Name." Desert - forest - sea... all conjure up their own strong imagery and thoughts.

[Brad Dehler]

Thank you. Yes, these other places have straight forward offerings. The sea is deceptive in its inability to quench. A challenge of assumptions