Control This

a sudden intense feeling I had...can't really explain it. I honestly don't fully know what this poem is symbolizing for me but I like it

Possibilities of forever, doubtful

The in's and out's of this life don't phase me

I want to get in, and stay in

If only I had control

 

The presence of competence that I use to sense

But lately doubt flows through like molasses

Giving me time to imbibe it so that

By the time I realize this

I'm too slow to control it

 

No one can stay in forever

I know this

Just at least give me the chance to

Control this

 

Reviews

[S. Michael Long]

keep working on this.. its a great start, but as confusing as the emotion is to you, its even more confusing to the reader.. the point you are trying to make i mean.. its very well rounded, and i love how you used the word "imbibe".. focus on that unexplainable feeling and use whatever emotion comes from the feeling to express what you want to say.. if its anger, be angry.. if its happiness be happy.. your emotions in the writing are expressed in the readers mind.. so we get you.. Great Write! -s

[Liderien]

I think you did explain it as well. Easily applicable to anyone. This is a great read. Sometimes we don't need to know what it is by words, its just feeling and the nature of man. Its primal. its lovely, its fantastic!

[Lovely Lady]

I love the flow of molasses.... nice.
~lovely lady~

[Dean Kuch®]

I like this. For me, it symbolizes knowing that we don't always have control over everything that occurs in our lives...but we'd sure like to have! Good stuff...