Longing To Belong

The man with the plan

Usually I am

As of lately I'm

Going through changes

Like a pair of jordans

Not use this so bear

With me

 

Share with me your concerns

Stay with me and begin again...

With me

The man with the plan 

I use to be

But still...

 

This man asks, with no plan

Can he still be the man

To keep your heart vibrant

 

Reviews

[selkietales]

Plans are nice, but it's the person behind the plan who's the man! I don't if that makes sense, we read your poem in a weird voice so it's really funny to us even though logically we know it's not funny and has meaning. Even if you didn't want to know that, I told you! So I reread it, seriously this time, and it's pretty good. The only error I noticed is that you say "use to be" when "use" should be "used."

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

It shows confusion. "The man with he plan I use to be But still..." Love it.

[Chip]

A poem that got me thinking. Well done!

[Lovely Lady]

oh yess. i like a man with a plan, go to plan b and walk w/me ...love so rare... it bares each soul!

[Kuhr Gred]

nice one.. keep it up ;)

[$êlvån]

gud job...enjoyed it.........keep it up.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

sometimes in life we get like this........some days are diamonds and others.are ......penned well

[forevermore1218]

I really like the way you formated your writing. It showed alot of character to your poem and made it stand out. I really loved your poem and expect to see more like this :)

[S. Michael Long]

i love the intro, and what follows right up until the second stanza 3rd line and what follows... i think can be edited to better serve your purpose or intent to the reader.. nevertheless after reading this it made me smile (: i think we have a lot in common as writers (: keep it up! -s

[Layla J Omorose]

ooh I like this one. The speaker want to belong or rather continue to be in charge of his plan. Yet he cannot continue to hold his control over the thing he wants. I love the last to line, and I think if you put a question mark at the end of the last sentence it would add a little extra humph. Not to mention the last to lines are my favorite lines. If he changes can he still be the one who holds the heart? ....good work, well penned