Simple kind of complicated

I feel like I'm here,

but I'm not.

That I'm alive,

but I'm shot.

That I care,

but I don't.

That I'll be strong,

but I won't.

That I'm happy,

but I'm sad.

That I miss the past,

but cherish what I had.

That all my friends are real,

but that's a lie.

That I want to give up,

but I still want to try.

That I miss you,

but I can't.

That I want to be quiet,

but I want to rant.

That I can't fall asleep,

but I'm always dreaming.

That I'm sane,

but my head is reeling.

That I love you,

but I want to shoot you in the head.

That I'm alive,

but I'm dead.