The Magic Canopy of love

Free verse- For Ten Words Contest

As I look at the canopy of my life
And recall the red letter day of it
It was the day you entered
The kingdom of my heart, when

My whole existence turned into
A utensil containing
The ocean called love
You roamed like a starfish
Making my tiny heart tickle
You made my own identity diminish
To a sparse microorganism
While you danced in my soul

Like a wild palomino in lush valleys
As the wheel of my life progressed
My dream of our two souls walking abreast
Remained a distant dream
With you reigning my heart
And soul like a monarch.
My own existence became
A nonexistent being, being lost in you...

 

 

Reviews

[Great Aunt Astri]

Sometimes love can suffocate... sometimes that is wonderful, to be lost in one's true love. But I have a feeling that it would be better to have your 'dream of our two souls walking abreast.' The person in your poem is perhaps happier being a 'non-existent being, being lost in you.'?' Inspired poem.

[Bala Gorthi]

I think or rather for me love us merging with the other soul in every plane. With every breath the lover is lived wherever he or she might be. The souls become one if it is two way.or just the single soul bathes in his or her love. Some souls are happy being lost in others.
Asking something in return makes it a game or deal..
Thank you very much for your visit and appreciation..

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, but don't you think we should keep our separate identities? Although, at a 'soul level' I am sure two lovers can be one.

[Bala Gorthi]

Of course for the world or profession we all maintain and have to maintain individual identities. read moreOf course for the world or profession we all maintain and have to maintain individual identities.
And human ego is such that it can spring its hood anytime with anyone and that is why we separation and differences. I was just saying about how I see love as and how magical it can be.
There were times when I would feel like that for my bonds whether with mother, brother, father friend or anyone. Ever willing to do anything, always forgiving. My own self never mattered to me. I wondered how that could be.Then I realised it was the power of purity of love that could make me be so.. But long that purity can stay is a question? But I I do believe we all be selfless and egoless ( losing identity) with some people at some point of time in our lives. Of course in the long run as we grow out identities become important..
Just a personal observation....

[Wicahpi]

Thank you for taking the 10 Words I Give challenge. Amazing write. I really enjoyed reading it. It's whimsical, almost musical in my mind and each word flows into the next so sweetly. Very romantic.

[Bala Gorthi]

The pleasure is always mine. Your words really work out our minds. And the result is before you. All credit to those ten words.
Thank you for visiting and appreciating.

[Hebe]

Hi Bala,

Great fit & imagination with the words... :)

[Bala Gorthi]

Thank you for visiting and appreciating, Hebe.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

good use of the words...but i would refrain from the caps--draws too much attention away from theme and more to the words themselves....the poem is expressive in its own right.

[Bala Gorthi]

I agree Sir, but for the contest I have to highlight the words.i'll try to change the caps and highlight in some other way.
Thank you for your precious visit and kind words..
Keep visiting.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i did have a feeling they asked you to do that for the contest...easier for them to spot the words.

[Wicahpi]

Yes, easier for me to spot the words to make sure they are there. My first preference is make the word, bold, or use a different color, or use italics, but whatever works.