The inevitable

A man is finally able to express himself to his lady love.

Words! So many words! I was finally able to say

Nearly able to keep my emotions at bay

'What a relief!' I thought as my words flowed and flowed

I had gone to her private room Her humble abode

I feared her response Her reaction to my heart

But she stayed true to form. Such a sweetheart

Breathing and composure A constant battle

However, I charged ahead Pedal to the medal

I needed her to know Of my thoughts and feelings

Waiting any longer would have been oh so unappealing

You told me of your situation Very confusing

I confessed to you my own Not any less bemusing

Where do we go from here I asked so tenderly

You told me of our (limited) options Not wanting to hurt me

I left you right after My feelings now expressed

With all my romantic words You probably felt pressed

Sleep was difficult to get Later on that night

I so hoped you wanted me too, or that you just might

Our next steps are so unclear, not at all obvious

Although my emotions are spent Our future is still ambiguous

Our spending the next day together, was strange yet wonderful

You went back to being yourself How so very loveable

 

Reviews

[Rana]

Hi Franky,

Thanks for sharing this poem :) I enjoyed the rhyme scheme-- something I always tend to shy away from when writing my own poems. I think the short couplets matched the content of the poem very well, made it almost breathless like the narrator seems to be at his confession/ expression.
I do agree with Lisa though, perhaps the use of punctuation would make the lines stronger through a forced pause or moment to ponder.

- Kata

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you kata. I really appreciate you taking the time. I wrote this in 2005 when I was a stupid man! Lol

[Lisasview]

I see that you corrected the tenses and that is great and does make reading your words much much better.
I do feel however that the use of punctuation would make your lines stronger.
Without punctuation one just reads through your poem without a minute to sit and ponder.
There is so much that is good about this and that is why I am reviewing and making some comments...
Lisa

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thanks so much Lisa for reading and reviewing! Appreciate your thoughts.

[Lisasview]

You are always welcome..
Lisa

[Yellow Submarine.]

I'm honored that you spend the time. Thanks again.

[Lisasview]

You are most welcome...

[Jenni Bailey]

I love it! Well thought out and put together! You use words that I don't even know the meaning...lol. Great work

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you dear Jenni. I appreciate your nice comment.

[redd Brick Keshner]

Sometimes the only way is to face the music. We all eventually do. This is pure bravery to see it through. Thanks for sharing. /Frederick.

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you, 😀

[lessa (kenzie)]

This is so wonderful, I love the story line behind it. So nicely written. Awesome write

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you! You are very kind.

[ErosNthanatos]

Being in the moment and the now

[Yellow Submarine.]

It was indeed I was so much in love......yikes!

[DIVYA]

Sometimes talking it out is a good thing to do. Telling it like it is saves us time and one doesn't have to keep guessing if the other person is aware of how we feel. It puts us at an advantage. And we deserve it. After going through all the trials that love brings us. I sensed a lot of caring in your words. As if the poet is really into the person and is being very patient and going through a lot of uncertainty and yet sticking to her.

[Yellow Submarine.]

You nailed it! How true.

[Just Kim]

Wow!! This is simply amazing, I really enjoyed this well written write

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you! You are too kind. I write this quite a few years ago.

[Yellow Submarine.]

I appreciate the encouragement. This site hasn't been as helpful or as encouraging over the past few years for some reason so thank you!

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

Here's a lovely point in a relationship when its time for two people to realize how much they mean to each other or perhaps move and grow away from each other, which I feel is human too. I loved the way you narrated your thoughts and feelings!

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you! Yes, this relationship described here was at a crossroads....

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You're welcome...😊

[Kaylor Mason]

Relationships are always complicated. Everyone wants normal; normal doesn't exist. That's what's so wonderful, I think. Very nice poem :)

[Yellow Submarine.]

You are very kind. 🙂

I'm glad you took the time.

[Audrey M.]

Wow, that person sounds like they were only concerned for themself? So no real love lost there, no? If that's the case I feel you on that. This was good, I'm glad i came upon it.

[Yellow Submarine.]

You nailed it. Unfortunately. But at it turned out im much better off thanks for your thoughts.