The inevitable

A man is finally able to express himself to his lady love.

Words! So many words! I was finally able to say

Nearly able to keep my emotions at bay

'What a relief!' I thought as my words flowed and flowed

I had gone to her private room Her humble abode

I feared her response Her reaction to my heart

But she stayed true to form. Such a sweetheart

Breathing and composure A constant battle

However, I charged ahead Pedal to the medal

I needed her to know Of my thoughts and feelings

Waiting any longer would have been oh so unappealing

You told me of your situation Very confusing

I confessed to you my own Not any less bemusing

Where do we go from here I asked so tenderly

You told me of our (limited) options Not wanting to hurt me

I left you right after My feelings now expressed

With all my romantic words You probably felt pressed

Sleep was difficult to get Later on that night

I so hoped you wanted me too, or that you just might

Our next steps are so unclear, not at all obvious

Although my emotions are spent Our future is still ambiguous

Our spending the next day together, was strange yet wonderful

You went back to being yourself How so very loveable

 

Reviews

[Rana]

Hi Franky,

Thanks for sharing this poem :) I enjoyed the rhyme scheme-- something I always tend to shy away from when writing my own poems. I think the short couplets matched the content of the poem very well, made it almost breathless like the narrator seems to be at his confession/ expression.
I do agree with Lisa though, perhaps the use of punctuation would make the lines stronger through a forced pause or moment to ponder.

- Kata

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you kata. I really appreciate you taking the time. I wrote this in 2005 when I was a stupid man! Lol

[barleygirl]

Not sure if you did this on purpose, but your "tense" changes about midway thru . . . first she is a she, then she becomes "you" . . . I'm not against tense-changes, I do them myself & this one feels like a natural transition in viewpoint for your storyline. I just wondered if you were aware of it. Sometimes we miss when we do stuff like that. I love the word "inevitable" which seems to drive your storyline . . . conveying that sense we often get where we know we're going to fall, even tho we try to dance around it. Your poem shows this "falling" in a fun & realistic way. I could see this guy talking to himself as he stood on the ledge (the first part, where she is a she) . . . then he's talking to her (when she becomes "you") & that tense change, to me, shows that this guy has just gone even deeper & so the outcome is all the more inevitable (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you! And I no, I didn't realize that. Wow. Lol

[likesgreeneggsandham]

You're truly a romantic. It's lovely to see the world through eyes not so jaded. Keep up the writing!

[Yellow Submarine.]

Thank you! That situation was a release, but it didn't work out. But I learned from it too.