Why I want Treatment

I was asked to write a one page essay on "Why I want Treatment" while in rehab I got there on 10/10/2014 and wrote this 10/16/2014, only 6 days there using a football analogy.

"Why I want Treatment"

     Because I decided to live, that is why I want treatment. Because before I made it here, I did not want to live anymore. I did not want to live more seriously than any times before, ever. The medication I am on now actually seems to be working for my bipolar type I disorder. Which is something I have never been able to maintain, or stayed on top of. I just always white-knuckle through the roller coaster ride(yes I have a roller coaster tatted on my upper arm), hiding all emotions, and smiling at the world like everything is great. When really behind my mask, I feel like dying.

     Well o.k. so I passed the grim reaper at the two yard line. Here I am now at the five, ninety-five yards to go, and no end zone in sight. Huddle up, I've done that, call the play? No thanks, I'll go long you call the play, for my playbooks record is worst in the league. I know most of these plays, as I have been to numerous training camps just like this one. So putting up big numbers and showing out should be fairly simple, if I only follow the playbook. Sadly this is big business, and always will be. So I must choose coaches and trainers who truly love the game. Not just salary caps, for in all reality. This is the game of life.

     So here I am at another training camp, ready to work hard, ready to live. I don't have a clue what the fifty looks like, much less the end zone. Plus once I reach the end zone what kind of dance or shuffle will I do? Who frigging cares, I'll deal with that then. All I know is I'm here down at the five and can't see the clock, but put me in coach. Blue, 41, on two, hut, hut, gotta go, that's my play.

-BB

Don’t just B, but B amazing! YouTube

Don’t just B, but B amazing! Google+

  

Author's Note

All reviews appreciated good or bad, for that is what molds us.

Reviews

[Connor]

I've struggled (and still struggle) with addiction for about seven years now. Your story is truth; we want to live. At the same time, it's our drug of choice that makes us feel alive--until the realization comes. It kills us, and it really is a game of life. I enjoyed it. Keep up the fight.

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thanks Life is ALWAYS going to be tough and a struggle, but when people like me drink or use, it becomes an unbeatable struggle. We CAN WIN at life, we just have to stay clean and keep fighting. The rest will fall into place.

[lovelife]

I like this peice I feel u with the mask and the roller coster affect it is tough because we think drinking can makes us alive or more alive and really we r just hurting oursefs

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

And DON'T you ever forget that. Some people are fine, people like me NOT SO MUCH, never gonna be, life's tough enough without being wasted and in trouble. Thanks.

[lovelife]

ur very welcome and that is tots true u just have to try and stay sober