Every second Dying

A poem I wrote 12/23/2014 about about taking life for granted. SHAME ON US.

"Every second Dying"

One determined, one makes it through,

23 chromosomes meet 23 chromosomes.

Now your a zygote starting to die,

if split in two, will be twins, oh my!

Now 38 weeks of dying, that's different,

the rest of the world now calls you an infant.

Soon you are born on a star they call Earth,

already dying, wait you mean it gets worse?

Now you're surrounded by other dying souls,

dying's so confusing, so many different roads.

Some will be nice, kind, sweet, and so loving,

others are evil, mean, pushing and shoving.

Dying is stressful, sure not easy work,

maybe that's why so many are jerks.

Dying and dying, every second, everyday,

everywhere we look people wilting away.

Constantly dying it's all so depressing,

people all scared, sad, some confessing.

Here is a concept I challenge and give,

just cause were dying, why not choose to live?

Dying is certain, not one will dare miss,

so live as your dying, go out in a bliss.

-BB 

Don’t just B, but B amazing! YouTube

Don’t just B, but B amazing! Google+

Author's Note

Sort of a dark truth poem, which ends with a challenge to be optimistic in life. Just as you all, I love to hear opinions, good or bad. Thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Georgiana]

I love that the theme of pessimism is portrayed throughout this poem until the very end when optimism is introduced. I did not expect it! This made the poem very enjoyable, love a good ending! I found the rhyming effective. Dark writing is somehow very appealing to me, I suppose because it always seems to be more honest- thank you for suggesting that I read this.

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank You Georgiana

[ANTO]

Dying is stressful, sure not easy work,
maybe that's why so many are jerks. - liked this - very tongue in cheek and thought stirring.
I wasnt aware of the dying as soon as your conceived school of thought - thanks for enlightening

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank you for your insight, and kind comments. I admit I have noticed you review quite a bit, and tend to have excellent feedback. I shaming myself have to admit, I have not taken the time to read much of your work. Which I am adding to my list and defiantly will do. Thank You & Merry Christmas.

[ANTO]

Hey - dont worry about that but please accept my gratitude for saying that. I need to read more than most because I have so mch to learn so the reviews are helping me too. I wish someone wold review my reviews to point me in the right direction.
Thanks again

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

That my friend was a mouthful, yet TOTALLY makes sense. Ha ha.

[ANTO]

:))) conciseness - I know thee not lol

[Robert Strzalko]

Very interesting and unique. Well done.

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank you, and Merry Christmas.

[Lizardo]

This is really good, and excellent piece of poetry.
I really like the first stanza.
Grea work

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank you your kind words inspire me.

[Gee]

You were correct,enjoyed very much.Nice write

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank You so much.

[Yellow Butterfly]

I've finished the whole poem ....

"Here is a concept I challenge and give,
just cause were dying, why not choose to live?
Dying is certain, not one will dare miss,
so live as your dying, go out in a bliss."


Words fail me... other than breathtakingly beautiful

YB

[Yellow Butterfly]

Wow... your words have just blown me away and are so powerful in this piece I haven't even got past the first Stanza..

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank you, especially nice to hear from a writer creative as yourself.

[Yellow Butterfly]

Thank you for your kind words... I look forward to reading more of your wonderful creativity here at the Cafe too. Merry Christmas :)

[Jimmy Yetts]

Appreciated the deep insight--and the positive ending.
Excellent work, B!

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank You.

[rae52]

Very nice, I really like the turn around of the mood at the end of the last stanza

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Thank You!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

from birth to death with some taxing times...
really creative piece, first line second stanza, did you mean "you're surrounded..."?

i read it that way...
but yes, we must choose to live...not be so afraid of dying that we don't.

[Don't just B, but B amazing!]

Indeed, I did, nice catch, thank you for the feedback.