Liberation

I wrote this story 2 years ago about a woman who makes a decision to jump out of a burning building.

There was no way out. It was either be burned alive or jump. The latter seemed less painful, quicker, easier. She had always loved the view of the city through her offices grand window which now was nothing but open air. She stood on the edge and took in that view one last time. Below her she saw flashing red and blue, along with hundreds of people that looked like ants from so high up. They couldn't save her, she had died long ago. She closed her eyes and fell into her memories, memories of a time when the decision to die would have been difficult to make. When her husband didn't come home from work at four in the morning smelling of booze and cheap perfume. When her daughter didn't need Lexapro in order to function. When her son was still alive. She remembered that time, before the accident ruined her families lives. It was her fault, and everyone knew it even though they never said so. She wasn't watching him. She was on her laptop finishing up her proposal, she didn't even hear the splash. Two year olds can't swim. She remembered him. His curly blonde hair and his chubby little cheeks. She knew he was in a better place, a place she wouldn't be allowed to join him at. She accepted that a long time ago. So as she turned around, prepared lean back into the air behind her, she didn't repent, she knows she doesn't deserve forgiveness. A tear rolled down her face and she began to laugh. She spread her arms and plummeted to the earth, a devastated woman, finally at peace.

Author's Note

Please, tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Keith LaFountaine]

Definitely honest and raw, filled with lots of emotion. Excellent work! My only suggestion: break up the one paragraph into a few. Maybe three or four, and use them for emphasis. Especially that last line where she jumps, that would be a perfect line just in its own paragraph. Good work though! Keep at it.

[Kenneth Richardson]

I'll take that advice, thank you so much.

[KaylasPoetryBook]

So much emotion and honesty in this piece. Great job

[Kenneth Richardson]

Thank you :)

[Zero_Edge88]

"Swift, deliberate but selfish. For what can one say about life when we think of that act of taking our own life. Are we but delaying the inevitable truth that is coming? After all that's been done and looked up we must learn to know that the only time we will be accountable for is when we have lived the life judged and scorned relentlessly than of those who have not. We have one shot at the opportunities given to us and how we must learn to reciprocate well we won't know till we find out right?"

That's what I thought of your story, as a writer and it made me look back at the things I would have done in my life but then I realize, it's not the answer no matter what in our stories. It can't always be the answer, there must be something about that we can do as humans. Right?

[Kenneth Richardson]

As humans theres always something we can do, but my intentions with this piece were to go beyond whats right or wrong and look at whats honest., and in the real world hope can be lost, which can be tragic but also very beautiful. The power and impact of one deciding their fate cannot be denied. But anyway, thank you for reviewing and i hope i didnt misunderstand what you were saying, haha

[Zero_Edge88]

Yes and you didn't misunderstand me which is good haha! I do late night reviews even then they tend to go a little loopy and whacky as if I'm on some kind of psychotropic which I assure you I'm a drug free kind of person so yeah haha! I liked your work, thank you for the share. Have a great night.

[Marie]

I think this is good for being as short as it is.

[Kenneth Richardson]

Thank you. :)