Being sixteen

A memory.

His hand was delicate in mine,

more delicate than I wished it 

might have been; and on his lips

there trembled words untried;

like leaves on autumn trees 

before they die.

And in his eyes I saw such

sweet despair, a hesitation

more than I could bear;

and turning, though as in

a half spun dream, I tilted 

to the gently warming sun; 

then stole a kiss, 

though brief, still not forgot;

sixteen we were, 

he loved me?

Loved me not?

Reviews

[Lorry]

Ahh, the intensity of being 16 and that feeling of barely being able to breathe out, for fear that it will catch in your mouth and make you cough and splutter. Acting with a confidence none of us possessed and the exclusivity of thoughts, all taken up by that "one."
'twas the best of times,' twas the worst of times 😀
I remember it well, sigh 😀

[Chris]

Came by again... just wanted to pause a bit and let the coffee cool down...

it did

[Closing Thoughts]

This poem is such an innocent and perfect piece to capture the idea of 'being sixteen'. Once again, your word choice is phenomenal. This time, my particular favourite was, "like leaves on autumn trees before they die." The ending is fantastic too, ending on the age old, 'he loves me/he loves me not' sing-song thought process. I like the idea that her male companion is also obviously young and frail and innocent; his hand being delicate in hers and what not. Overall, I love this piece. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Prabha Salimath]

It is not that familiar with in my teens but yes as I opened more to world I feel not hesitant a poem like this. Nice one as a teen experience. Good one Beccy.

[Chris]

This one had me wanting to continue from the other's side... silly sweet pause and coffee wishes.

I reopened this one to continue the thoughts...

[Matching Socks]

Sweet sweet memories, Beccy.
This moment is capturing so beautifully. I can see a young stealing a kiss!
Beautiful.

[Steve Kittell]

Such memories, such fears, I feel for your nervous friend. I'm sure he recalls that moment quite fondly, as he should. Very nicely portrayed.

Steve k

[Briana O'Connor]

Very beautiful. You words flowed flawlessly. There was an exquisite depth within your heartfelt words. The emotion was genuine and pure. Very good read. Thank you for sharing.

[Sami Khalil]

A sweet and tender moment in the words of a poet...:(......

[Tree]

Bringing to life a tender moment like this in a way that the reader can see clearly even feel, takes great skill. And you have to care first, in order to preseve the things worth preserving. You care.

Diego