August 25, 2011

I'll just wait by the phone for that call...

August 25, 2011:

Once again, I know she isn’t going to take the time to call me today. It’s her birthday… doesn’t she want to talk to her daughter, or is the alcohol more important? Does she even remember me now? The reason I ask is because I haven’t heard from her in months. Despite her promise “I’ll call you more often.” Doesn’t she want me to wish her a happy birthday, and I love you? Why has she vanished? I guess the drugs finally got to her mind, or she’s in jail. Like she has been on this day for 5 years in a row; it’s sad, I know, but how am I to know? If she is in jail, what’s it for this time? Beating her boyfriend Billy up again? They used to get in fights quite often. Possession of marijuana; I know she always has a blunt on her. It could be a myriad of things, but I cannot fathom how she could get up and forget me. I’m her daughter! Her flesh and blood! Isn’t she supposed to care about me? But knowing myself, today after school I’ll be waiting by the phone, waiting with false hope, for a call I know won’t happen. I can’t help but to let myself want it. And maybe I mentioned it indirectly above, and you should know who I’m talking about, but if you do not. The person that I’m wishing a happy birthday is my mother. And I just wanted to say that despite what you’ve put me through, and what I’ve put you through. Happy birthday and I love you.

I love you mom,

Renee Marie Patrowicz

Author's Note

I'd say read at your own caution. I wrote this in creative writing for the morning exercise. I shared it, and afterwards. When I got to the last line. I started crying hard. I hate knowing that I both hate, and love her at the time. It just doesn't make sense.

Reviews

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

Awe, this was really sad and really sweet. Your mother will always know that you love her. No matter what happens...she is your mother, but if she forgot about you...that's sad. I feel bad for you..because it's hard having any parent that does that stuff....I hope everything gets better for the both of you. Good emotional write.

[Larry Dyson]

yes ..it makes lots of sense to hate the alcohol and drug abuse , but to love your Mother is natural...im good for safe huggs...Laury

[OliviaTheElf]

SEND IT to your mom. I would. Let her know how it makes you regardless of how many other times you've told her.

[rwar ish me]

aw, this is so sad, it also made me want to cry.
And yeah it doesnt make sense, But she is your mother
so you will feel love for her, it is natural.