..Laying Here..

This is a very short write. I was thinking about someone I loved... wondering whether I should forget... idk

i watch my breath form a cloud
faded gone, leaving behind my face
another cold day kisses my skin

i rest here in the dampness
of this dead pasture
underneath the twilight

memories begin to sparkle

feathers gently floating with the wind
and for some reason...

some reason
i try not to forget you

Reviews

[hershey's kiss]

this is amazingly lovely. I hate to relate poems to myself, but I can totally understand where this is coming from. I just love how you present it with this beautiful, picturesque, and touching setting that speaks to a person.
what a wonderful write. :]

- Hershey's Kiss

[Jason]

I love this. The setting you painting in this poem. The cold day kissing your skin, laying in your own dampness, trying not to forget...., this is just beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Saurin Corvinus]

I loved it it had very nice imagery.

[Cherry Chapstick]

Amazing! I loved your sensory details, and your word usage made it feel as if I was there in your poem. My favorite line is the "underneath the twilight, memories begin to sparkle, feathers gently floating with the wind" Great job!!

[LittleEye:)]

"another cold day kisses my skin" this is my favorite line. :) very good write and i love the storrey it tells and how it tells it in only a few short stanza's great write


LittleEye

[Doctor Deathstab]

I like the description of the cold, damp weather. For some reason it made me like this poem very much.

[OutToLunch]

wow. i can feel your emotions just... jumping out at me, here. it's certainly a very confusing thing, love...

[Song of Mercy]

For a quick write it is really good! I loved it. I especially liked the reference to the relationship or perhaps the memory of the relationship to the dead pature. I saw her lying in the pasture, I saw her in the gentle wind in a state of contemplation as a feather drifts by. Thanks for the great write. Song.