DESERTION

Nature: Haiku

Fall, nude trees submit

empty woven nest suspends

wind smacks it to earth

Lone robin quivers

family flock deserts him

he lingers on thin bark

Turmoil shrouds him

eyes flicker like lightning

brown wings flap, he's off!

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a prime example of one of my mantras -- using verbs that pop makes writing dynamic. Just your title alone had me stunned, such inventiveness, a demanding tone, a sense of outrage! That's powerful personification in a word! The thing I love the most about your poem is that it's the antithesis of all the lovey-dovey autumn-thrills-me poems going on lately. Here you convey a strong sense of abandonment & all your creatures feel indignant & testy to me! (just like me when winter is coming on & the damp cold fires up my aches & pains!) *wink! wink!* Fondly, Margie

[Mark Tisdale]

A wonderfully restrained portrait of a moment in nature. Simple, beautiful, well done!

[alanwgraham]

Your well chosen words this wee drama of nature Betty. I like the last two lines.
Alan

[John the Baptist]

This one may have been inspired by an observed event, or it could be symbolic of a human situation. I wonder why the flock deserted him.

[Lea Sheryn]

A sad but brave little robin. He will make it on his own.

[wordman]

even animals have no home