WILLOW LAKE

Summer fun takes a turn

Murky water laps over

the fake beach at Willow Lake

summer folks swarm, skin to skin

on their Disney-like beach towels

lather up with perfumed oil

summer's sun stains them brown

mothers' holler at kids to stay close

older ones paddle out to an old, rotted wood raft

dive, jump, splash, dunk, laugh

At day's end, the sun's tired face looms

kids dry up

the tally kicks off

names shout out

all but one replies

Each bellows out the kid's name

again, again, again

looks of dismay, fear, panic

little tots giggle, cry

adults race to the water to help

At dusk families scurry home

to their summer cabins

huff,weep, stumble, wail

At dawn

child found alive

after all night search

in the thicket woods near Willow Lake

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

We used to lay on the river banks or shoot the river rapids in an inner-tube. We also used to dive from the rocks into the deep pools in the river. One fellow climbed too high and, being drunk, fell backwards to his death from those cliffs. He broke his neck on the rocks below. They put up a wreath on the rock and the kids continued to climb and jump. Ah, the immortality of youth. I enjoyed reading this snippet of memory or imagination. I liked your story.

[poetgurl]

very vivid imagery you write with, This is a very well written write. I enjoyed reading this.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for reviewing this poem. Fondly, Betty

[barleygirl]

V1 is STUPENDOUS, as far as capturing all those obscure unique details of some everyday pastime, popping with dynamic currents & familiarity. There's a slightly mocking tone to the way you describe stuff like "fake beach" and "perfumed oil" that gives this the feel of satire. Instead of imparting drama (predictable), this feels wry, like a clipped news report, which serves to pump up the satire factor for me, as if just another ho-hum day at the beach with the usual lost kids, etc. (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Margie; this was real stuff from my young summer days, a fake beach and slathering oil on our bodies...a sign of the seventies in and around NYC!!! Thanks for your comment, always appreciate it, fondly, Betty

[Lea Sheryn]

Nice ending. It's scary when a child is lost and such a relief when he or she is found.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes it is Lea, but I decided to make this a happy ending; some of it is actually true! Always like your comments!

[Lea Sheryn]

Thank you, Betty. I look forward to reading your poetry.

[emmajoy]

What a superbly written sadness, thank God with a smiling finish. The way you laid such a relaxed, contented setting, the way you suggested peace, pleasure and more... and then.. ...

In life we're led to hope and trust that everything will work out, and, for much of the time it happens to folk except exceptions who slide off the plan... happens, causes panic, is a piece gone from a jigsaw, a flaw, a single ginormous part gone.. until it turns up.. and there's tumultous applause. You added it, so successfully, so subtly. Is that how you planned this poem.. could have gone either way?

[Betty Hermelee]

What a lovely review Emma! You got it spot on !
thanks for taking the time! Fondly, BEtty

[emmajoy]

your words are very special, Betty.. and, far more than memorable. Keep safe and warm with hope.

[Chris Shaw]

A happy ending after a night of fearing for the worse. It is easy for children to slip through the net. It reminds me of when our three year old Robbie wandered away from our group at a holiday camp. We noticed he was missing within seconds. I will never forget the fear I experienced as I searched in vain for him with family. At the point I was about about to stand and scream with all my might, his brother found him. I had gone into panic mode. Your well written lines reminded me so much of that experience. A night with a child missing would have been hell. Fifteen minutes was like a life time. You capture that fear well Betty in this write.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for that in-depth review, Fondly, Betty

[bigfootprint]

Thanks for the happy ending, Betty, Very good work, you toss us right into the sand and the lake. The scene stands out as if backlit by your descriptives. The narrative flows well through the terrible fright until the cliffhanger at the very end. One of your best, I think. -- Doug

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Doug, I really appreciate your constructive comments!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and that lost soul is worth more than the rest of the flock put together.
the one unnoticed finally becomes noticed....
but often there are those in society who in their own struggles are lost to the herd.
The Beach of life crowded, everyone swimming to get ahead of the other...partying in selfish delusion...
and then a realization hits...so self=absorbed we have missed someone, finally.
this is so good.
j.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Jacob, as always an excellent comment!