TWIN LAKES

Nature, color, growth

I often ramble my favorite foot path

in June, when green is my color of choice

trees with canopies of shade

shadows dance in front of me

a slight haze peeks out early

until the sun cooks it hot

twin lakes flicker

reflections as an oversize mirror

I stare at them, lopsided in the water

clear mountain streams supply, nourish

yield life below the surface

geese live here now and then

honk honk noises travel distant

they speak to each other

follow as family, tiny ripples behind

One morning on my routine walk

I took note of a broad, cold tree

but it was not this that caught my look

rather, a profuse growth of off-white mushrooms

trapped in the bark, an unusual pattern

of abstract gems

nearly like a bunch of flower petals

I stood, awed by this design spectacle

an alive entity grows on a dead trunk

perhaps recent rains stimulates its surge

their comeliness, undoubtedly worthy of a photo

Author's Note

This part of NC is just stunning!!!

Reviews

[John the Baptist]

I have seen quite a few of these splendid word pictures of nature recently. It may be a reaction to the extreme ugliness we see daily in the news. Whatever, keep them coming, for we need them now. I am familiar with the mountains of NC, and this one made me think of them.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you John, as always

[Lea Sheryn]

Beautiful. I love your poems describing the nature that surrounds you.

[Betty Hermelee]

It is magnificent....lovely for poetry!

[Lea Sheryn]

It is for prose too

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Lea!

[Lea Sheryn]

You're welcome

[barleygirl]

This sounds more like the straightforward writing I remembered from you! After 30+ years of technical writing, I was severely straightforward when I first came to the cafe 5 years ago. I've stretched in new directions after reading how others are doing it differently, but straightforward will always be my "go to" -- as I suspect with you, as well. You sound like a cerebral thinker . . . even when you're conveying the sensory, there's a touch of the analytical. That's all overall stuff.

Now about this poem. V2 is leaps & bounds better than V1. It sounds like you are a little ho-hum in V1 & your details are sorta general & fuzzy & there's quite a bit of "ME" in there . . . I ramble, my favorite color, dance in front of me, I stare . . . just my opinion, but I think it's better to describe nature on nature's terms, not as an adjunct of however I happen to be observing it. About two-thirds of the way thru V1, you stop with the "ME" perspective & this is when it feels like you're finally immersed in the scene you're describing, like the "ME" has stepped away so we can see just the sensory details. Then in V2, you really get cranked up to a high level of sensory perception & sharing, which is awesome. I actually think this should be a poem about those damn mushrooms, not the boring rather nondescript lakes! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Betty Hermelee]

Now that II think about it, you're right...well that's what learning is all about and I appreciate every word you critique...honestly, xo Betty

[a]

A good example of creative and stunning writing, congratulations, it is a beautiful text.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a lovely review!

[Chris Shaw]

Your imagery is captivating Betty. I really enjoyed where you took me. I have seen fungus growing on dead tree wood myself. It is quite amazing. Not just in shape, but colour too. Damp, warm conditions and it thrives. Well worth a poem and a photograph my friend.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

Very enjoyable read
It actually mirrors much of what is happening around here
The mushrooms, so wet this year they are flourishing
The twin lakes remind me of horse riding days in Penticton
All very nicely done and a great feeling

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks for reviewing Dave, Fondly, Betty

[jacob erin-cilberto]

this reminds me of my little hikes i took when i visited my sister in Deep Gap, NC....
yes, there is such a peaceful, quiet beauty there...great for introspection....
j.
lovely imagery, as always, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you as always Jacob!