THE VISIT

aftermath....

THE VISIT

 

I am taciturn, all I can  manage is to stare at him

Moments of our yesteryear whisk by

I behold him next to me beneath our silken sheets

And oh, so much nostalgia

Tears well in my eyes

A bit of wooziness overcomes

He hands me a  bizarre face

I struggle to escape this lethargy

However difficult

Still, I maintain a veil of heartache

Yet I am amenable to speak with him

 

I reveal my name, Lilly

He says that it is a lovely one

I ask if he remembers me; that he is engaged to me

He seems to be befuddled, that I would ask such a question

His smile is engaging, though he has no idea of who I am

I inquire about his plans

He reveals that the doctor assures him that he can go home soon.

And that he will see his older brother

I reply that he is a very lucky man

He queries to know why I am visiting him

At once, more droplets of water on my cheeks

I shall not be able to visit once more

He questions why I cry

I cannot explain my emotions to him

He looks inquisitive

I must say goodbye for the last time

With hanky in hand, I wipe away the wetness

On my face

I express to him that I am an old friend and I am in the neighborhood

Therefore, a visit would be pleasant

He smiles and shakes my hand

I wish him good luck and a happy life at home

I mumble to myself that this is what I expected to see

Yet the reality tugs at my heart

Smacks me in my soul

I wave goodbye to my first love and close the door

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Kelly Scheppers]

This reminded me of that moment when the realization of knowing we will never see this person again. To be in their presence, knowing it will be our last. How do we say goodbye? What words are there left to offer? Before I moved to California, I visited a neighbor who was dying from cancer. I knew with absolution, that I would never see him again. It froze me in my footsteps. He appears to me now, after reading this. As the kind man, as the gentle man, he was. I still cannot remember though, how I was able to walk away. Thank you, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Kelly; loss is is forever and so difficult; Hope you are well.....
Warmly, B

[MrBlack202]

I love the poem, it takes me back to the only time I went for a hospital visit, and I wasn't able to say much to my mom behind the gates. Any ways, I love your work. It's really something special to write the way you do

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for that exceptional comment, I'm flattered!!!
Warmly, B

[Mysilentembrace]

This gave me goosebumps and tugged at my heart strings. That sad goodby and loss of memories, at least for them. I couldn't help but wonder if they were struggling with amnesia from some kind of accident (putting them where they are) or dementia and losing their memories a whole. Either way you can feel the grief within this.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a lovely review
Warmly, B

[Orphic Dreamer]

This is a very magnificent and lovely piece. Each verse fits perfectly to show a melancholic yet intense emotion

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you for such a lovely review; so pleased that you enjoyed it and picked up on all the emotions….
Warmly, B🌷🌷

[petec3638]

Betty This is a wonderful insight to Dementia >> Where am I?
Who are you? How long have lived here? So the questions go on
My chest hurts
I will give you some paracetamol
Half an hour later > Can I have something to stop my chest hurting

We have told her she has a spot on her lung that is expanding
She doesn't understand
Put a game on the TV that she can react with
Just now the colouring books are the rage

I was with your post > every line
Tomorrow she mat appear as normal - no pains - She is bright and cheerful

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Pete for a fine review.... actually her soldier has Amnesia from the was and doesn't recognize her....the very sad part....
Warmly, B

[petec3638]

Betty This is a wonderful insight to Dementia >> Where am I?
Who are you? How long have lived here? So the questions go on
My chest hurts
I will give you some paracetamol
Half an hour later > Can I have something to stop my chest hurting

We have told her she has a spot on her lung that is expanding
She doesn't understand
Put a game on the TV that she can react with
Just now the colouring books are the rage

I was with your post > every line
Tomorrow she mat appear as normal - no pains - She is bright and cheerful

[Arundass TP]

Great poem. Each line is filled with emotions and feelings. Great 👍

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you TP, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Michael Sun Bear]

Hello Betty, this is touching, moving, so sad. You are a great storyteller, and for me your writing works best when you keep the lines uncluttered, the language straightforward. One line here nags at me: At once, more droplets of water on my cheeks. If I were explaining to someone something really sad that happened to me, I would say I started crying, I wouldn’t say I began having droplets of water on my cheeks. That line rang false for me. Perhaps tears are a cliche, but you are conveying a story of complex emotions, and I think it’s ok, desirable, to keep the language simple. I find in my own writing I tend to use too many words attempting to express an idea or a feeling in a new, interesting way, but then rereading it hours or a day or two later, it just feels forced, awkward. Then I tend to edit down, finding one word that will replace two or three. Find a short line to replace a long line. All that said, your poem quite moved me, so well done.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much Michael.... I take your comments seriously...however this takes place in the 1920's... right after WW! was over.... language a bit different then....more like ante bell-um....appreciate...
Warmly, B

[Pete]

so well expressed. deeply heartfelt. you've used some great words (some of my favorites). sadly troubling.

[Betty Hermelee]

Yes, and more to come! What is a story without some drama? Thanks Pete for all of your support!
read moreYes, and more to come! What is a story without some drama? Thanks Pete for all of your support!
Warmly, B

[poetic swan]

A heartbreaking portrayal of love and memory lost, told with quiet restraint and aching nostalgia. Poignant, tender, and emotionally devastating.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for a lovely review!!!
Warmly,B