MIXED EMOTIONS

no finality

Whilst we reach the hotel, my legs feel like jelly

Christine exits the cab first then waits for me to vacate

Edward rolls down his window and I pay him, he still refuses money

I sense he would like to chat for a bit, yet I am tired and in need of some rest

I politely reveal another time, when I call him for a ride

He agrees and says it was a pleasure and calls me by name

I am flattered, such a gentleman

 

Christine invites me into the parlor for some tea

We chat about the flat and how perfect it shall be for the two of us, though it needs a bit of work

She offers to help me and I thank her profusely

At once I feel the baby move a bit

Christine comes around to feel my belly

I can tell she is overjoyed about my pregnancy

As I am

 

Following our chat about the apartment

It comes to mind that I must see the doctor

It has been at least a month of worries

Grieving, anger, and now perhaps I can move on a bit

Though not entirely

I still cry, and recall flashes of endearment to Henry

Especially when I am alone, yet I have much to look forward to as well

 

I shall call the doctor to make an appointment

He does not know about my future yet and it is timely to share with him

I am sure he is aware that I had to leave Henry

As he left the decision up to us

However, there really was no us and still there is no us, since Henry is completely out of it and prepared to go home

It was left as an assumption

Therefore, I shall say nothing regarding him until he asks

 

At once I have another flashback of Henry and me

This time we are on a picnic, a very sensual outing

With the smell of grass, a quiet breeze and the two of us alone in a meadow, me gazing into those blue eyes

 

I quickly withdraw my memory and return to reality

Climb the stairs to my bedroom and collapse on my bed

T’s when I am alone that I grieve

Which I believe is quite normal and probably shall go on for some time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[red93]

This is great Work B - emotion recalled, and clearly a difficult and testing time for you, which you handle well in these lines. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you so much for your insightful words
Warmly B🌷🌷🌷

[Pete]

she sure has a lot going on. can feel the the weightiness of her thoughts. it's like she's living in 3 different time zones at the same time - past, present and future. I don't think I'd want to be in her shoes although it is exciting and full of possibilities.

fyi - the rolling stones had a great song called 'mixed emotions '.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Pete for a great review, as usual! Don't know the song, but I'll look for it!
Warmly, B

[Neville]

You Betty are unique .. Okay, I know we all are really but you are kinda special unique when it comes to having your own brand .. I find your story poems captivating my friend & this ones got the BH stamp running write through it .. write on Betty .. Neville 😎🌻👍

[Betty Hermelee]

A great review Neville, and so happy you like my style...this is an episode from my new book, yet untitled...Thank you from my heart!
Warmly, B

[Neville]

..................... 😎👍

[Chris Shaw]

Mixed emotions is certainly what you have here, so this piece is very well titled. What a dilemma she finds herself in. Grieving and moving forward at the same time. Yet death is final and what you have here isn’t, if I understood correctly. The baby will still have a living father. You have a beautiful style of writing Betty, your voice comes through clear and calm here. Just lovely.

Chris

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you dear Chris...you always give the best reviews!!! and I appreciate you!
Warmly, B

[Stella Armour]

Ah reality is overshadowing her love for him .... at the moment.
The new life inside her is her reality now , but the child is his as well and may resemble him bringing back more memories.
Oh, what turmoil she is in poor girl, thank goodness she has a friend .
This is getting nail-biting now Betty, can't wait to hear what the dr has to advise.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you for your excellent review and interest in my story, much appreciated!!!
Warmly, B

[John the Baptist]

The young lady is gradually moving on to a new life. Henry has not been able to go beyond amnesia, and she knows they could never have a life together. But even in her efforts to move on, there is grief. Henry is alive, but what they had once been is not. She is oddly bereaved, but bereaved nonetheless.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks always dear John for your on spot reviews of this saga!!!
Warmly, B

[RomaJ]

Hi B, I love how this poem feels like the quiet pause between A First Look and Decisions. It gathers the same people and places: Christine, Edward, the flat. But turns them inward, almost like we’re hearing Lilly’s private thoughts between scenes.

The tone is tender and reflective, carrying that mix of hope and ache that comes with moving on. She’s grieving Henry, yet feeling her baby move, and those moments of ordinary life...sharing tea, paying the driver, climbing the stairs...suddenly feel sacred.

Mixed Emotions really ties the story together, showing the emotional breath between what she’s lost and what she’s beginning to build.
Beautifully done.

[Betty Hermelee]

A really fantastic review and great understanding of my saga!!!
Warmly, B