Haunting Shadow

dark, rainy, haunting

Haunting Shadow

 

If only the rain would cease

if only the clouds would sever

if only the sun would warm

my soul would mend

 

You forsook in the rain

I continue to discern your shadow

in inclement weather

it haunts me

those images of you

the luggage, the raincoat, the umbrella

that smirk on your face

 

Today, my soul recalls those last moments of us

on that rainy day

the unpleasant sentiment that shrouded our space

we both perceived it

inevitably, one would vacate

you chose the exit

I still wait for the rain to cease

 

When the sun warms

perhaps your enduring shadow

shall ultimately desist

 

Reviews

[Randall]

I like the way you let the reader place the periods where they fall naturally. Very nice, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you Randall for a lovely review, much appreciated😊
Warmly
B.

[red93]

Nice Work Betty, I like how the weather encompasses yr mood in this piece - nice imaging. Really Excellent ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Vania Aleksandrova]

A delicate portrayal of loss and remembrance. The rhythm feels like falling rain — steady, sorrowful, and cleansing.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you, Vania, Much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Rachid Amrani]

Very well written. You made good use of similes and the juxtaposition of weather elements (sun vs. rain). I liked how in the second stanza of the poem you revealed to us the YOU: "those images of you
the luggage, the raincoat, the umbrella that smirk on your face." All the lines evoked my emotions but my best one is: my soul would mend.
May we the sun prevail so that our hearts would warm.

[Betty Hermelee]

thank you for a very thoughtful review, much appreciated!
warmly, B😊

[Rachid Amrani]

You're very welcome.

[Jansy]

It's like the rain itself; persistent, melancholic, and quietly beautiful. The shadow of someone so present that even the weather seems to carry it. The imagery of the umbrella, the smirk, and the raincoat is vivid it feels like I’m standing there in the drizzle with you. There’s a real ache here, but also a patience, a hope that maybe someday the sun will warm what’s been cold for too long. Powerful and haunting in all the right ways.

[Betty Hermelee]

A wonderful, understanding review Jansy
Thank you!
Warmly, B

[W. Barrett Munn]

The fine part of this poem is the entire story isn’t told letting we readers engage with the work with our own imaginations.
Well done.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thanks Winston, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[Buddhistboy73]

Cool idea for a poem....
It starts off dark and haunting....

If only the rain would cease
if only the clouds would sever

and takes the reader on a journey ...

I like the way it finishes with hope and positivity....

When the sun warms
perhaps your enduring shadow
shall ultimately desist

BB73

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you BB glad you enjoyed the poem, much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[emmajoygreen]

Is this the absence of a person, love or life?! Whatever it is, it seems the all around has taken over your life and every deep rooted emotion. There's such a tragic near explosion from a generally calm spirit! Tis known that shadows are stronger than they appear - they remind the living and healthy that things around them never quite go away. The weather truly does cause changes in emotions and general behaviour. Hoping your poem is far more fiction than fact, that your sun soon brightens your spirit.

'Today, my soul recalls those last moments of us
on that rainy day
the unpleasant sentiment that shrouded our space
we both perceived it
inevitably, one would vacate
you chose the exit
I still wait for the rain to cease'

Emotions laid in the way only you can feel and share, Betty.

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Em : thank you always for your spot on, fabulous review!
thank goodness this is not me!! could be, but not at this moment...hubby improving...life is a bit hectic..have to think too much!!!
Warmly, B

[emmajoygreen]

Oh my, dear Betty, you're still involved with so much all the time. Please, please slow down now and again, that or fall down in a heap. Be kind to yourself, please very much. Hug. Your words are always superbly laid in grand order yet are never over-blown. Promise to think of self for at least an hour every day - tis that or LOSE SELF.

[Betty Hermelee]

YES MAM!!! I am getting time to myself..have a helper who takes care of hubby... both doing well...
hugs dear friend!
Warmly, B

[emmajoygreen]

Good girl... enjoy and rest when can, please, PLEASE. Hugs from here to there with a smiling postscript, of course.

[Soren]

Shadows are only shaded forms of the real and so it is in this poem the shadow that remains is not the object but the emotion left behind. The rain and clouds a sadness. Great metaphors Betty are infused in this poem. Well done

[Betty Hermelee]

Dear Soren...you really nailed this one! a fabulous, meaningful review...compassionate! Thank you so much!
Warmly, B

[Soren]

You are most welcome my friend

[RomaJ]

This poem beautifully captures the lingering ache of loss and memory.

I love how the rain and clouds mirror the speaker’s sorrow, and the repeated imagery of shadows, umbrellas, and smirks makes the feeling of being haunted very tangible. The ending is especially poignant, leaving the hope that time and warmth may eventually bring peace.

It’s a haunting and moving reflection on love and absence.

[Betty Hermelee]

Thank you RomaJ; you have a unique way of writing reviews...always digging deep for the meaning and expressing so beautifully....much appreciated!
Warmly, B

[RomaJ]

Thank you. It was a delight to read.