If Only

For Mama Terisa

She prob'ly never thinks of me
But I think of her a lot
She knows not what she means to me
Or how heavenly her thought
I wonder often what it's like
To be held in her embrace
Her smile fills my life sometimes
And I can't forget her beautiful face.
Her children are my envy
Because they get to call her mother
I'm so terribly homesick for it;
The joyful love that surrounds her
I cry often in deep longing
Longing to know her better
To hear her laughing and talking
In only minutes I could love her
I hope she knows she's a blessing
A gentle soul I admire
The tears I've cried just watching her
Thinking, wishing, dreaming, if only my mother.

Author's Note

Maybe this is evil of me. But my mother, though I know she loved us, raised us strictly. This was her way to insure turned out alright. Making sure we were always perfect. That did though, in the long run, end up hurting us. Though i know she didn't mean it that way. In my life I've always been deprived a mother's love and I know I've always longed for it. I wrote this poem about a woman I don't personally know well but I've spent alot if time watching her, especially with her children. And I can't help but wonder if there would be less pain in my life if i has a tender sweet mama like her. I secretly call her Mama Terisa. She is the best mom I know. I just can't call her mine.
Again, i didn't punctuate well. I just don't know how. Any tips would be helpful on that or what you would do to improve this poem. Tell me what you think. Thank you!!