Kingdom Saints Wrestling

This is my attempt at writing a novel about wrestling, although someone told me I should turn this into an animation or video of some kind. I wrote this from September 2024 to September 2025.

Kingdom Saints Wrestling

PROLOGUE: FURY UNLEASHED

There’s a shot of the stage & fireworks go off while Fury Unleashed’s theme song “Cycle Down” by Skillet is playing. After the the pyro is finished, the camera switches to the hard cam in the ring where the commissioner is standing. There’s a medium sized crowd in attendance, with about a couple thousand people in the audience. Around the arena is adorned several flags including the United States, the Confederacy, Canada, Mexico, Germany, Russia, the United Kingdom, Ireland, Italy, and Japan. Countries that are important to Christendom and wrestling. The ring is of course twenty by twenty feet, with red ring ropes, black apron, black matting on the outside of the ring, and a metal guardrail a few feet away from the ring, surrounding the ring and on either side of the ramp. The announcer’s table is outside the ring opposite of the stage so the commentators can see the stage better.

Commissioner Manuel Bruno: “Welcome to Fury Unleashed!” The crowd cheers to his announcement.

“Every Friday Night at eight P.M. Eastern we will put on the best two hours of wrestling for all of you. It was time for a change from how, quite frankly, boring the world of professional wrestling has been for the past decade or more. And one of those changes will be there’s going to be a tournament here tonight to decide…” Behind Commissioner Bruno there’s something covered up with a black sheet. He takes off the black sheet to reveal a championship belt. The crowd goes “ooh” in surprise. He lifts up the belt and starts talking again. “The Kingdom Saints Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion!” The crowd cheers again. “You want the Attitude Era? You want unpredictable, must-see television? You want the story of good overcoming evil? You got it!” The crowd cheers and the commissioner’s music plays and he leaves the ring and goes back up the ramp to exit the arena. The KSW World Title is placed on a little podium near the announcer’s table on the outside of the ring.

Wrestling legend “The Angel” Noah Hale wins the tournament for the Kingdom Saint Wrestling World Heavyweight Championship. About a month after “The Angel” Noah Hale wins the KSW World Title, Noah Hale is backstage being interviewed by Commissioner Manuel Bruno.

Manuel Bruno: “Ladies and gentlemen I’m here with the KSW Champion, “The Angel” Noah Hale.” Bruno focuses on Hale. “Angel, everyone knows about your twenty plus year hall of fame career. Tonight, you might be up against the biggest challenge in your career in Dracula. Who knows what he has in store?”

Noah Hale: “You might be right, Manuel.” Hale looks at the camera. “Tonight, might be my toughest challenge yet. Tonight, might even be my last match. But since I’m up against Lucifer himself… I might just hit him with the Angel Destroyer and pick up the victory.”

Later that night, in the main event, Dracula comes out to the ring by himself with his Black Sabbath theme song and the lights in the arena being turned down low to give an atmosphere of darkness.

The ring announcer: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the KSW World Heavyweight Championship. Introducing first: the challenger. From The Bottomless Pit, Dracula!”

Dracula slithers into the ring and sits in the corner. The lights in the arena go back to normal. Then Noah “The Angel” Hale’s music starts playing and the crowd cheers. The crowd gets a little bit quieter before Noah Hale walks through the curtain and they continue cheering.

Ring announcer: “And his opponent. From the Dominican Republic. He is the Kingdom Saints Wrestling Champion: Noah ‘The Angel’ Hale!”

Noah Hale has a focused look on his face, but he does acknowledge the crowd choosing him as the favorite for a moment as he’s walking to the ring. He gets on the apron on the side of the ring where the hard cam is. He keeps his eyes on Dracula as Noah Hale gets in through the second rope and backs up to the opposite corner. Dracula pulls himself up with the top ropes to get up out of the corner, and he has a smug look on his face as if he knows he’s already won.

The referee gets knocked down. Dracula sends Noah Hale off the ropes for an Irish whip and put his head down for a back body drop, but when Noah Hale rebounds off the ropes and runs back at Dracula he hits him with the Angel Destroyer, which is a sunset flip piledriver. Noah Hale goes for the cover and hooks Dracula’s leg. Noah Hale hits the mat with his hand “One…two…three!” as the crowd chants along.

Noah Hale gets up and checks on the referee who’s lying unconscious. Then suddenly, Black Vulture runs into the ring and hits Noah Hale with a steel chair to the back. Black Vulture is about six feet tall, wearing black boots, black jean shorts, and a black T-shirt of his favorite heavy metal band. He also has a goatee and long black hair.

Just as Noah Hale manages to regain control and starts fighting back Black Vulture, a seven foot monster walks over the top rope into the ring and headbutts Noah Hale. His name is Goliath. He has a buzz cut and a goatee. He’s wearing blue jean shorts, sneakers, and a black tank top. Then he lifts up Hale with both hands by the throat and puts him in the hangman’s choke for a few seconds until he turns around slams him with a double armed chokeslam. Then Black Vulture drags Dracula to the center of the ring with his arm over Noah Hale. Goliath wakes up the referee, who slowly hits the mat and counts “One…two…three.”

The bell rings and the crowd is booing in disbelief. The giant and Black Vulture pick up Dracula and get the World Title belt and give it to him while his theme song is playing. The arena’s lighting doesn’t change though.

Ring announcer: “Here is your winner, and the new KSW World Heavyweight Champion: Dracula!”

Goliath kicks Noah Hale’s practically lifeless body out of the ring like he’s a piece of trash, and the three celebrate with their newly won championship. Paramedics come out and carry Noah Hale away on a stretcher, and the last shot is those three guys still celebrating over their victory.

The following chapters are not in chronological order, as it was easier to organize the chapters by the different championships and divisions rather than writing it as consecutive television shows. It wouldn’t make sense considering this is a rather unorthodox type of book.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

DRACULA’S CELEBRATION

On the next episode of KSW Fury Unleashed, after Dracula cheated to win the KSW World Heavyweight Championship with the help of his new faction, they show on the big screen Dracula going back to his personal dressing room and celebrating with his wife, daughter, Dr. Fooker, Goliath, and Black Vulture. They drink red wine, and eat pineapple pizza and avocados. they celebrated by eating pizza with pineapple toppings on it. Dracula’s daughter, Rose, is off to the side keeping to herself during the celebration, not talking to anybody while eating pizza and drinking tea instead of wine.

Now they come out to the ring with their Black Sabbath theme song to cut a promo as a group. Once in the ring, Dr. Fooker, the mouthpiece of the group, starts talking. “Last week, we proved that your Declaration of Independence is obsolete, and your mythical god couldn’t stop the inevitable from happening. Allow me to give you the new Declaration of Independence, better suited for the less primitive gods of science & evolution.” Clears throat. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men evolved differently, that they are born with certain mutable characteristics, that among these are life and the pursuit of pleasure. And of course the pursuit of championships is included on our list of six hundred sixty six pleasures. So therefore, since all men evolved differently, nobody has been able to achieve the epitome of evolution like your champion Dracula and his super soldiers Goliath and Black Vulture!”

Dracula, Goliath, and Black Vulture all pose and taunt as Dr. Fooker mentions their names, and the crowd boos during the pause. Then Dracula takes the microphone from Dr. Fooker. “Yes, Dr. Fooker, and thou art the most evolutionarily advanced man intellectually.” He hissed.

“What?” the crowd yells.

“Thou knowest well.”

“What?” the crowd yells again.

Looks at the crowd. “Behold, I have been crucified for all of your sins, so bow down before your god, your KSW World Champion, and your king of kings!”

Suddenly, Jesus Freak’s music hits and he walks out to the stage moving and grooving. “Woah dude. What you did to “The Angel” Noah Hale last week, and what you’re doing right now. That ain’t too awesome. In fact, I wouldn’t even call it rad, totally tubular, and quite frankly, it’s not cool.”

“What do you want, peasant?” demanded Dr. Fooker.

“What Jesus Freak wants is to teach you all a lesson. One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all. I want, and all the Jesus Freaks in the world want justice for “The Angel” Noah Hale, and for a a man of the people to be their champion, not a cheater and a king who hides behind his pawns to stay in power.”

Dracula steps forward. “Shut your mouth! You want to fight me, you got it. Here tonight!” The group all talk to Dracula and he tells them his plan, but Jesus Freak and the audience can’t hear it.

TITLE SHOT

This is it. Jesus Freak’s KSW World Title shot against Dracula, the reigning champion. It appears that Jesus Freak is winning. However, Goliath and Black Vulture keep interfering. Jesus Freak goes outside the ring while Dracula has the referee distracted. Freak confronts Black Vulture, until Goliath picks up the steel steps. Jesus Freak turns around and Goliath throws the steel steps at Jesus Freak’s face, knocking him out cold on the outside. Goliath and Black Vulture pick up Jesus Freak and throw him into the ring. Dracula covers him and hooks his leg. The referee counts “One…two…three.” The crowd boos as Dracula steals another cheap victory.

The Philistines leave and their music stops. Jesus Freak is still laying in the middle of the ring. Nurse Danielle runs out to the ring with paramedics behind her bringing a stretcher. Nurse Danielle checks on Jesus Freak in the middle of the ring, waking him up. He slowly gets up to his feet, and the fans cheer. Danielle offers to carry Jesus Freak on a stretcher, but he respectfully declines. Danielle nods her head and grins understandingly. Jesus Freak slides under the bottom rope and walks up to the bottom rope with Danielle behind him. Once Jesus Freak gets to the bottom of the ramp, he raises his fist, and looks at the crowd, and the crowd cheers and applauds.

After the match, Jesus Freak goes to Nurse Danielle’s office to get tended to. Jesus Freak slouches in a chair in the medical room. Danielle gets her stitching equipment ready. “You’ve got quite a gash, mister. Let me get that cleaned up for you.”

“Thanks Danielle.” Nurse Danielle takes a rag and gets it moist with water and gently washes the blood off of Jesus Freak’s head.

“I watched your match with Dracula. I thought for sure you were going to win that thing.”

“You think so?”

“Absolutely.” Danielle gets her stitching needle and thread ready to sew up Jesus Freak’s head after taking those steel steps to the head. “Now hold still. This’ll pinch a little.” Jesus Freak holds still as Nurse Danielle stitches him up.

Manuel Bruno Talks To Jesus Freak

Commissioner Bruno finds Jesus Freak sitting with his legs crossed on the floor in the boiler room, possibly praying. “Jesus?” There’s a pause as Manuel Bruno approaches Jesus Freak.

“Hello Mr. Bruno. I failed you. I failed all of you.” Jesus Freak starts rocking back and forth.

“No, Jesus Freak, you didn’t fail me. I respect you. The fans respect you. You’re a great friend, Jesus. You know I have to make difficult decisions as a booker. The Philistines bully me into making matches for them. But now because of you, they realized they can’t do it anymore without any push back. So I just want to tell you, when you’re ready, you’ll get another title shot against Dracula, and this time it’ll be a level playing field.”

“Thank you, Mr. Bruno. You’re like a cute and cuddly Teddy bear. Have a nice day.”

Wedding Disaster

On the big screen, it shows the Philistines in the locker room. Black Vulture sits on the couch and Dracula sits across from him in a chair. “Black Vulture, since you’ve been so helpful to me at getting the KSW World Championship, and being a good disciple, I’m going to have you marry my daughter Rose in the ring tonight.”

Later that night, in the ring, the Philistines have the unholy wedding set up. Dr. Fooker is the minister, holding a satanic bible for the wedding. He moves the book to his left hand and holds a microphone to his mouth with his right hand. “Do you, Black Vulture, take Rose to be your wife?”

Black Vulture leans in. “I do.”

“And do you, Rose, Princess of Hell, take Black Vulture to be your husband, in this blood pact?”

Rose, adorned in a beautiful black dress, thinks about it anxiously for a moment, before replying “No! I can’t do this!” She puts her head in her hands and walks away like she’s about to leave the ring. Once she bends over to get under the rope, Dracula steps over to her and pulls her back by her dress. He looks Rose in the eye. “You dare defy me like this, daughter?!”

Suddenly, Jesus Freak’s music plays and the crowd gets to their feet and cheers while the Philistine men turn around to the entrance, ready for a fight. This gives Rose the opportunity to leave the ring, jump over the barricade, and leave through the crowd. Instead of Jesus Freak, a new wrestler comes out from under the ring and gets in the ring and jumps Dracula, Black Vulture, and Goliath from behind. Dr. Fooker drops the microphone and quickly gets out of the ring along with Lilith the wife of Dracula, and the sinister book in his hands. This new wrestler has shoulder length brown hair, a brown beard, a black tee shirt with the Skillet logo on it, a pair of blue jeans, and a pair of black and white sneakers. Caught by surprise, the other three Philistine men leave the ring as well, and stand on the ramp pissed off. The new wrestler picks up the microphone and says, “My name is Samson! Jesus Freak wanted me to send you a message, Dracula!” Samson walks over to the ropes and points at Dracula. “This war ain’t over! Far from it!”

The next week, Dracula wants Samson to pay, so he pressures Commissioner Bruno into booking a handicap match between Goliath and Black Vulture vs. Samson. Goliath grabs Commissioner Bruno by the shirt and lifts him up.

“Hello, Commissioner Bruno.” said Dracula calmly.

“What the hell do you want, Dracula?” asked Manuel Bruno.

“You know the drill. Samson defied me, so now he needs to pay. Put him in a handicap match against Goliath and Black Vulture.”

“Alright you got the match. Now put me down.” said Bruno.

“Goliath.” said Dracula. Goliath puts Manuel Bruno down, and the Philistines turn to leave Manuel Bruno’s office. “I appreciate your compliance.” said Dracula. Manuel Bruno brushed himself off and sighed in relief when the Philistines left the room.

Later that night, Samson has the handicap match with Goliath and Black Vulture. Samson demonstrates his martial arts skills and intensity by holding his own in this two on one handicap match. After about ten minutes, Dracula comes out with his KSW World Title belt. Black Vulture stands behind Samson and holds Samson’s arms to prepare for him to get hit in the face with the belt. Dracula grabs the belt and moves forward to hit Samson with it, but Samson moves out of the way at the last second and instead Black Vulture gets nailed in the head with the world title belt. Samson runs into the ropes and hits Dracula with a clothesline, then when Goliath attempts to grab Samson, Samson counters by grabbing Goliath’s head and punching him straight in the face. However, with Samson’s back turned, Dracula recovers and gets up to his knees and punches Samson in the balls from behind. Samson then falls down to the canvas holding his groin in pain. Dracula and Black Vulture get to their feet and all three of them stomp and kick Samson until he rolls out of the ring.

NO MORE PLAYING AROUND

After taking a brutal steel steps thrown to his face by Goliath, and a humiliating loss to the Prince of Darkness, Jesus Freak may not be the same man anymore…

A few weeks have gone by. Jesus Freak has been relaxing and spending time with his family to recover from that brutal match.

Dracula cuts a promo, celebrating his victory over Jesus Freak. Suddenly, Jesus Freak’s music plays. The crowd goes wild.

Jim Ross exclaims, “There’s no way!”

“AH!” King screamed in surprise.

Jesus Freak walks out, microphone in hand. This time he’s not wearing his usual tie-dye attire. He’s wearing a red flannel shirt, with a black tee shirt underneath, black sweat pants, and sneakers. The crowd gives him a standing ovation as if he won last night. Someone in the crowd holds up a sign that says “Jesus is God”.

Jesus Freak is followed by the entire KSW roster, including Femboy Francis, Seamus, Big Fella, and Samson.

Jesus Freak gets in the ring and says, “Dracula, you may have beaten me one-two-three last time. Goliath, you may have concussed me with those steel steps last time. I never considered myself a ‘hardcore wrestler’. However…” Jesus Freak punches himself in the head a couple times. “When you throw weapons at me! When you hit me hard and humiliate me! When you make me think constantly that I’m not a man at all! When you make me taste my own blood! That’s when you make me want to draw your blood and see if you bleed red like the rest of us!” The crowd cheers again at Jesus Freak’s statement.

Dracula and the Philistines come out to the stage. Dracula asks, “Jesus, what’s your point?”

Jesus Freak replies, “My point is, I want to kick your a*s, no holds barred! Just you and me at next KSW Monthly Special Event for that KSW Title! Or we all walk out!

Satan looks at his faction & at the crowd before having a smug look on his face. “So you’ve turned into a glutton for punishment? You’re on, Jesus! I’ll put the belt on the line just so I can beat you so badly I’ll end your career this time.”

“One more thing. Tonight, we want Black Vulture versus Goliath to see which one of your two henchmen is tougher.” Samson gets in the ring and gestures to Jesus Freak for the microphone, and Jesus Freak gives it to him.

“I reckon it’s only fair that tonight, You Dracula, Goliath, Black Vulture, and Dr. Fooker take on the Full Blooded Irish…” Samson pauses and the crowd cheers. “But it’s not just the F.B.I. It’s also Samson & Jesus Freak in an eight man tag team match.”

Dracula replies “And if we say no, everyone walks? You got it!”

When Dracula goes backstage, he’s confronted by the members of the Philistines in the locker room. Dr. Fooker asks “What are you doing, Master, letting them put me in an eight man tag team match? I’m not a wrestler!”

The next week, Jesus Freak confronts Dracula and the Philistines again. “Out of the ground wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.” (Genesis 3:19) E

JESUS FREAK WINS THE KSW WORLD TITLE

Jesus Freak comes out, just wearing a black shirt with the black sweat pants and sneakers, with no flannel shirt.

Goliath throws a steel chair to Dracula. Dracula picks up the chair. Dracula and Jesus Freak are both standing across the ring from each other. Jesus Freak

Jesus Freak goes outside the ring and gets a barbed wire baseball bat from under the ring. Freak strikes Goliath and Black Vulture with it, but when he tries to hit Dracula with it, Dracula blocks it by punching Jesus Freak in the groin. The referee takes the barbed wire bat and throws it outside the ring. Dracula and Jesus Freak both recover and get to their feet, then Goliath walks over, picks up the barbed wire bat, and throws it to Dracula but Jesus Freak jumps over, shoves Dracula out of the way and catches it instead. Jesus Freak and Dracula both walk around for a second before Jesus Freak finally nails Dracula in the head with the bat.

The crowd cheers and Jesus Freak holds up the barbed wire bat. Dracula tries to crawl away, but once he gets to the ropes to try to crawl out of the ring, Freak walks over to him, lifts his head up and rips and grinds the flesh of Dracula’s face with the barbed wire bat. Dracula screams in agony.

“Oh my God, Jesus Freak really is sadistic!” exclaimed King.

Both men laying in the middle of the ring, Dracula slowly gets up first. He stands there for a moment, until he hears the crowd cheering suddenly. He turns around and out of nowhere he gets a superkick to the face.

JR: “King, that’s, that’s Stevie Richards! With a Stevie Kick to Dracula!”

King: “Oh my gosh! The man, the myth, the Stevie!”

Stevie Richards stands in the ring with his hands on his hips for a few seconds, smiling while the crowd cheers and chants “E-C-Dub! E-C-Dub!”, then he quickly runs out of the ring, over the barricade, and through the crowd while he gets chased by Goliath and Black Vulture. Jesus Freak slowly crawls over to Dracula to lay an arm on him. The referee counts: One… two… THREE! Ding-ding-ding!

King: “He did it!”

Ring Announcer: “Here is your winner, AND THE NEW KSW Champion: Jesus Freak!”

The crowd is on their feet going crazy for this unreal moment. Jesus Freak slowly stands up. The referee gives him the belt, he holds it up high above his head and his friends come out to congratulate him.

STEVIE RICHARDS CUTS A PROMO

Black Vulture and Goliath come out to the ring without Dracula. Black Vulture takes a microphone and starts talking on the microphone. “Jesus Freak did not beat our master last week on Friday Night Fury Unleashed! If that washed up has-been Stevie Richards didn’t interfere in that goddamn match, then master would’ve won! So Stevie, why don’t you bring your a*s out here since you want to stick your nose in other people’s business, you big goof!”

“Mirror Mirror (Look Into My Eyes)” by Def Leppard starts playing, and Stevie Richards walks out to the stage, putting his hands on his hips to pose on the stage like this is No Mercy or Revenge. The music slowly fades out.

Stevie has a mic in his hand and starts talking to the crowd. “That’s right everybody. The man, the myth, the Stevie is back!” He directs his attention back to the ring at Black Vulture and Goliath. “Although some of you might think I’m a big goof or a big nasty b*****d, especially if you’re a member of the Philistines, or a fan of them. I sat at home, watching KSW Fury Unleashed all these weeks and thinking to myself ‘No More!’” Stevie Richards made a point out of gesturing with his hand that he wanted no more. After a brief pause he says, “All you have to do is look into my eyes.”

“Me and Goliath are gonna beat the s**t out of you in a handicap match for what you did! After that we all can look into your lifeless, unconscious eyes when we sacrifice you to him.”

Jesus Freak’s music starts playing, and he comes out with the KSW Championship belt, followed by Commissioner Manuel Bruno. Jesus Freak has his own microphone. “As the new KSW Champion, I just have to say, don’t take the easy way out. Lord have mercy!”

Stevie gives Bruno his microphone, the Bruno says “Black Vulture, I’m sure you’d love that. But tonight, it’ll be a tag team match! Black Vulture and Goliath versus Stevie Richards and Jesus Freak!

The tag team match ends when Black Vulture goes outside the ring and grabs a steel chair, then goes back into the ring with it. He throws it at Stevie Richards, who throws it back at Black Vulture with him catching it, playing a little game of hot potato. Stevie then superkicks the chair with Black Vulture holding it, and Black Vulture falls down to the canvas. The referee calls for the bell. The next shot shows Black Vulture is busted open.

“Here are your winners by disqualification, Black Vulture and Goliath!” says the ring announcer. The crowd boos at this announcement. Stevie and Jesus Freak leave the ring and start walking up the ramp. A victory isn’t enough for the Philistines, because as the referee approaches Goliath and tries to raise his arm for the victory, Goliath punches the ref in the face and knocks him out of the ring. Black Vulture gets up slowly with Goliath’s help, blood running down Black Vulture’s face.

The referee gets up and yells “No! No!” in anger. He then talks to the ring announcer.

The ring announcer confirms what the referee told him. “The referee has decided to reverse the decision. Therefore, your winners are Jesus Freak and Stevie Richards.” The crowd cheers, and Stevie Richards and Jesus Freak run back into the ring. Stevie superkicks Goliath, and Jesus Freak hits Black Vulture with a kick to the gut and a DDT. Goliath and Black Vulture both roll out of the ring as Stevie and Freak celebrate in the ring.

During Stevie’s short tenure in Kingdom Saints Wrestling, he’s undefeated at 1-0.

COMMISSIONER BRUNO ANNOUNCES BATTLE ROYAL

Commissioner Manuel Bruno comes out to the ring on Friday Night Fury Unleashed to make an announcement. “At the next monthly special event, there will be a fifteen man countdown battle royal to decide who will face the KSW World Champion at the following special event. I’m sure you’re all familiar with the rules of Royal Rumble. Well, we can’t call it that but it’s essentially the same idea. The wrestlers who drew numbers one and two will start, then every ninety seconds a new wrestler comes out until all fifteen wrestlers have entered the ring.”

THE TEST

A wrestler named Samson comes out to the ring. Once he gets in the ring he stands in the corner and waits for his opponent. Samson’s matches in the previous couple of weeks were him squashing jobbers like Honest Abe and John Brown. However, this time, Dracula’s music plays and he comes out to the stage with the Philistines. “Samson, I have a test for you here tonight.” Hissed Dracula. “I could give you all the power, money, and sex you could ever want if you pass the test. All you have to do is lose this match to pass the test and join me on this path of destruction and world domination.”

Dracula sends Black Vulture to the ring, and Dracula and the rest of the Philistines leave and go backstage. The referee rings the bell, and it’s on. Samson beats the crap out of Black Vulture and the commentators speculate whether or not Samson will put over Black Vulture or not. Samson works on Black Vulture’s head and shoulder for much of the match, like he’s preparing to win by submission or just win by pin. After about ten minutes, Samson Irish whips Black Vulture, and takes him down by the arm and clasps Black Vulture’s face with his hands before Vulture taps out. The referee calls for the bell and there’s a big pop from the crowd for Samson as he celebrates his victory.

About thirty seconds later, Dracula’s music plays again and he comes out livid. “How dare you! I tested you and you failed the test?! You dare to have a rebellion against me?! I’ll put the fear of a god in you! You’ll pay for this!”

FORMERLY KNOWN AS PAUL BEARER

The next week on Fury Unleashed, the man formerly known as Paul Bearer comes out to the stage with Samson. “Oh yes!” He yelled in his famous high pitched ghostly voice. “The time has come for Samson to defeat you, Dracula! Old Percy Pringle knows the secrets of darkness. I know all your deepest, darkest secrets. Oh yes I do.”

Dracula, in the ring, responds “How can that be? You’re dead, fat man. Unless… you’re just a lost soul waiting to be enslaved by your master.”

“I’ve already heard it all before, Dracula. By the Undertaker and my son Kane!” The crowd cheers at the mention of the Brothers of Destruction. “It’s been prophesied, written in stone. Samson will win the fifteen man countdown battle royal and defeat Dracula for the KSW Championship belt.”

The Philistines take a moment to register what Percy Pringle just said, then start laughing hysterically. Dracula pointed at Samson and said, “You think that nobody can beat me? He’s dealing with the greatest wrestling god in the history of this sport. He won’t even be able to beat my men in a handicap match tonight.”

GOG AND MAGOG

This is the name of the TV Special Event which includes the fifteen man countdown battle royal and the Apollyon’s Abyss match between Dracula and Jesus Freak for the KSW Championship. The promotional music for Gog & Magog is “I Won’t Back Down” by Johnny Cash.

15 MAN COUNTDOWN BATTLE ROYAL

Before Samson leaves the locker room, he tells himself “I have to win this match, and I definitely can’t let any of Dracula’s goons like Goliath or Black Vulture win this match or else it’ll be the finger poke of doom for their match at next month’s Special Event.”

The ring announcer stands in the ring. “The following contest is a fifteen man countdown battle royal. In this match, a new wrestler will enter the match every sixty seconds after the first two participants enter the ring, until all fifteen wrestlers have entered the ring. The winner of this match will go on to face the Kingdom Saints Wrestling World Champion at our next monthly Special Event.”

Samson’s music hits and he walks out. “Introducing the wrestler who drew number one, from Augusta, Maine. Weighing in at 230 pounds, Samson!” Samson walks to the ring, determined. Not getting too cocky or taunting for the crowd. His only objective is to survive and win. He gets in the ring and goes to the far corner, looking at the stage and leaning down and putting his hands on his knees. Then he backs into the ropes a couple times and yanks them down to see if they’re tight for this physically demanding match.

The next wrestler’s music plays, and he comes out. “And the wrestler who drew number two. From Atlanta, Georgia. Weighing 225 pounds: Simon Malice.” Simon Malice also looks pretty serious coming to the ring. However, he’s a few inches shorter than Samson. With Samson being six foot four, and Simon Malice being about five foot ten.

APOLLYON’S ABYSS

Jesus Freak comes out to the ring to cut a promo.

“You know, I never got to properly celebrate my KSW Championship victory. I want to thank all of you, the KSW fans, for believing in me. I wouldn’t have made it without you.”

The Philistines music plays and they walk out to the stage. Dracula has a microphone and says “Cheaters like you shouldn’t even be celebrating at all, with my belt and on my time. I want a rematch for the title at this upcoming Special Event this Sunday.”

Suddenly, Commissioner Bruno comes through the crowd, over the barricade, and into the ring. “That’s real dandy, Dracula. You’re right, there’s no room for cheaters in your match at Gog and Magog, this month’s TV Special. A cage match won’t be enough, since you’ll just figure out some way to weasel your way into a victory, Dracula. So what we’re going to do is have an Apollyon’s Abyss match, which is a twenty foot high cage around the ring with a ceiling. No one gets in, and no one gets out, maybe.”

Dracula gets a mic and objects, “Woah woah woah, that’s not good enough for me. This place is not big enough for the two of us, Jesus Freak. I do not just want your title. I want your career. What do you say? Are you stupid and crazy and sadistic enough to make ‘loser retires’ as part of the stipulation?”

“I like the sounds of the that, Dracula. To get you all to myself in Apollyon’s Abyss, with none of your stooges to interfere, and to make you retire when I beat you, then you’re right. I put my entire career on the line!”

“You heard it here folks: the winner takes all in this Apollyon’s Abyss match for the KSW Championship, and the loser must hit the bricks. Sayonara. Arrivederci.”

At this month’s Special Event, Gog & Magog, Dracula and Jesus Freak have the Apollyon’s Abyss match, winner take all, loser retires. Near the end of the match, Jesus Freak starts getting the upper hand. Suddenly, he pulls a dirty old sock out of his pants and puts it on his hand. He holds his hand out in the air and to the side, ready to do something big. Dracula gets up, turns around, and Jesus Freak shove his hand down Dracula’s throat with the sock on it. Dracula is choking on it and gasping for air They back into the corner. Dracula kicks Jesus Freak in the gut, causing him to pull the sock out of Dracula’s mouth. Jesus Freak takes a few steps back with his arms holding his gut. Dracula hooks Jesus Freak’s arms and slams him face first with his Impaler finishing maneuver. Dracula turns over Jesus Freak, hooks his leg, and covers him. The referee gets down and counts “One… two…” Jesus Freak gets the shoulder up! The crowd goes nuts and Dracula can’t believe it. He’s furious and shaking like he’s having a seizure.

After the match, Jesus Freak says goodbye to his friends in the locker room. There, in the locker room, is the Full Blooded Irish Seamus and Big Fella, Femboy Francis, Amish Barnabas, and Samson. He shakes their hands.

“You guys are the future of this company.” Jesus Freak gets closer to Samson. “And you are the future KSW Champion. Don’t let us down, man.”

Samson replies “What do you mean don’t let you down? I have to win this.”

“Look dude, not many people expect you to win or believe in you.” Jesus Freak said.

Samson leans in closer to Jesus Freak. “I believe in me. I believe in me.” He said calmly. The other guys clap their hands and cheer.

“You go and get ‘em, lad.” said Seamus.

NO HOLDS BARRED

In the front row of the audience for this TV Special, Redemption, is Brandi Love with her clothes on. The camera shows her and her name plate and she waves for the camera and blows a kiss. Close by is her police officer bodyguard America. America is wearing sunglasses, a police hat, a police officer leotard, with handcuffs on her gunbelt, tazer in a holster on the left side, and a holstered pistol on the right side. The leotard is to show off her legs. She’s wearing black gloves as well, either leather or latex. In her hand is a night stick, and she does tricks with it as she stands by.

Now for the main event. Dracula comes out first. He sits on a throne that gets raised up to the stage, and wearing a rugged king’s robe and a crown on his head. Many druids stood on the ramp and worshipped Dracula, with the message being to worship this king of kings. The druids could be Dr. Fooker, Goliath, and Black Vulture, and Dracula’s wife and daughter, but you can’t tell because they’re all wearing druid hoods and have no individuality.

Samson wasted no time attacking Dracula, getting him into a corner and throwing clotheslines and punches. “Samson is just as crazy and sadistic as that Jesus Freak!” remarked King.

Samson sits Dracula up on the top rope and superplexes him.

After several minutes of Samson beating Dracula to a pulp, Dracula’s cavalry, Goliath and Black Vulture walk down the ramp and climb up on the apron. It’s no holds barred, so that means no disqualification. Samson turns his back from Dracula who’s groggily getting to his feet. Samson punches Black Vulture then Goliath off the apron, then he gestures his hands around his waist like there should be a belt there. “It’s mine!” he tells them. He turns around and Dracula catches him with the kiss of death, or so it seems. Any normal person would’ve been hit by the kiss of death and paid for turning their back on Dracula. Samson instinctively counters it into the Canadian crossface submission hold in the middle of the ring. Samson puts pressure on the hold as hard as he can, and as tightly as he can, determined to make Dracula tap out for the first time. Dracula holds on for a moment, but ultimately he has no choice but to tap out. The referee calls for the bell, and Samson holds on to the submission hold for a few more seconds before he releases it to make sure Dracula doesn’t get up and attack him.

“Here is your winner, and the new Kingdom Saints Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, Samson!” The crowd erupts with a standing ovation, and everything seems like it’s in slow motion. The referee gives Samson the belt and raises his arm in victory. Samson holds the belt up with both hands. It’s an emotional moment, so you can see Samson is crying a little bit. It’s not because he won a prop, but he finally defeated the villain. All his hard work paid off, and he has the high ground, both morally and strategically, over Dracula and the Philistines. Samson goes to all four corners holding the belt up for everyone to see. Months of being viewed as a mid-card nobody, to winning the countdown battle royal, to now being the champion and earning everyone’s respect.

CHAMPION VS. CHAMPION

Commissioner Manuel Bruno announces that there will be a champion vs. champion non-title match between Simon Malice and Samson. The match is intense with a lot of chain wrestling and submissions. However Simon Malice is 5’10 whereas Samson is 6’2. Simon forgets in this match that he’s supposed to be a “Hollywood of the South” big shot, and Samson has a drive to win and an intensity that’s rare. It looks like Samson is going to win. Simon puts Samson in the figure four leglock but Samson’s size advantage makes it easier for him to counter the move. Before Samson can get the win though, Dracula runs out and interferes, ending the match by DQ. Simon Malice takes his belt and leaves, not wanting a piece of Dracula and Samson at this point, understanding his place as a midcarder. Samson and Dracula brawl until they’re split apart by the referees and security guards.

APOLLYON’S ABYSS II

The next week on Fury Unleashed, the shows kicks off with Samson coming to the ring with the KSW Championship on his shoulder. The crowd gives the new champion a standing ovation. He gets in the ring and listens to the crowd for a moment before saying anything, but before he has time to speak, Dracula’s music plays and he comes out to the ring, microphone in hand.

“This is it. This is the final battle. I don’t just want that belt. I want your blood, Samson, in Apollyon’s Abyss, my home, where I destroyed your buddy Jesus Freak. Those weaklings Goliath, Black Vulture, and Dr. Fooker may be destroyed, but this time I bet my daughter Rose that I can beat you, mortal.”

The promotional music for the TV Special Judgement Day: Apollyon’s Abyss II is “Nowhere To Run” by Kiss.

Samson goes the ring first, then Dracula. Once Dracula is in the ring, his daughter Rose runs to the ring. She grabs onto her father like she’s begging for something. Dracula just shoves her off and she rolls outside the ring.

Samson fights Dracula in Apollyon’s Abyss and Samson beats the s**t out of Dracula. Hitting him with running flying clotheslines, German suplexes, and of course working body parts like the head and leg to set up for a submission.

Dracula and Samson break out of Apollyon’s Abyss and climb to the top of the structure, with Dracula hoping for some way to weasel his way to a victory in this match. After they brawl and throw punches at each other for a few seconds, Samson gains the upper hand. He lifts up Dracula for a military press slam, turns around, and throws him twenty feet off Apollyon’s Abyss through the announcer’s table; hitting him with a mother f’n bomb.

Samson climbs down the steel cage-like structure, picks up Dracula, and throws him into the ring. Dracula is laying on his back in the middle of the ring. Samson stands over Dracula for a few seconds and looks at the crowd before crossing his arms and pointing to the left and the right. Samson releases his arms and runs to the ropes on the right first. He bounces off the ropes, jumps over Dracula and runs to the ropes to the left. He bounces off the ropes. When he gets to Dracula, he stops and hits him with the most electrifying move the People’s Elbow and pins him. The referee counts “One…two…three.” The crowd cheers in excitement and the bell rings. Samson figured this would’ve been as good a time as any to do the People’s Elbow, when his opponent is dead and can’t get up. Samson gets his KSW Title belt and the referee raises his arm. The ring announcer says “Here is your winner, and still the KSW World Heavyweight Champion: Samson!”

Rose gets back in the ring, standing meekly with her hands in the olive branch position as she looks at Samson. Samson gets a microphone and gives it to her. She says, almost hesitantly, “Y-you have f-freed me from the curse.” She returns the mic to him.

“What curse?” He asks.

“The curse my father gave me at birth to always serve him and have no will of my own.”

“No, I didn’t free you. Jesus Christ freed you. ‘And you will know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.’” Samson and Rose hug in the ring for a moment while the crowd applauds and says “aww”, then Samson breaks the hug and speaks in the microphone with the championship belt in his other hand, looking at the hard cam. “For anyone who thought my victory was a fluke, I beat his a*s twice! By the grace of God. The Philistines… are no more.”

JESUS FREAK RETURNS

After taking a few months off after that brutal Apollyon’s Abyss match with Dracula, Jesus Freak comes out to the ring with a book in his hand. His music plays, the crowd cheers, and he walks into the ring.

“It’s great to be back on KSW Fury Unleashed! While I was away I picked up a new hobby.” He holds the book up. “It’s a new book called ‘WWJD: How a Freak Slayed the Dragon and Became the World Champion.’” He opens the book up to show the different pages and chapters. “It documents my life as a hipster before pro wrestling, how I got into the Kingdom Saints Wrestling, and of course how I became the KSW World Heavyweight Champion. The forward is also by my good friend Stevie Richards. Pick up yours today and get an autographed copy at the stands, signed by me, Jesus Freak, at no extra cost. It’s also available on Amazon and at a Barnes & Noble near you.”

The following chapters are not technically in chronological order, as they happen around the same time, and the remaining members of the Philistines are still characters in those chapters

THE WOMEN’S DIVISION

CLOWN GIRL / JUGGALETTE

Dracula’s daughter Rose is the KSW Women’s Champion. She gets interviewed backstage by her bestie Vanessa Jameson. Vanessa is looking at the camera, microphone in hand, glasses on her face, and she’s adorned with a feminine secretary outfit. “Hello everybody, I’m Vanessa Jameson, and this…” Rose walks into view with the Women’s Title belt on her shoulder and smiling at Vanessa, “is the KSW Women’s Champion and my bestest friend in the whole wide world, Rose. I’ve got to say, Rose, I’m as much of a fan as the people in the stands and the folks watchin’ at home.” Vanessa said with her Brooklyn accent.

“I’m flattered, Vanessa. I wouldn’t be here as the Women’s Champ if it wasn’t for you, my fans, or Samson my husband.” Rose said.

“I wish ya luck in your match tonight, Rose. I’ll be rootin’ for ya.” Vanessa Jameson said.

After Rose has her match, she walks back to her dressing room. The hallway is all dark and empty. Rose’s father is a literal vampire so she’s not scared of the dark.

A familiar voice giggles. “You wanna play with Velvet Jinx?” Rose turns towards the source of the sound, and a clown girl or jugallette is barely visible in the dark corner of the hallway.

The next week on KSW Fury Unleashed, at the start of the show when Rose walks through the backstage area, she asks “Where’s Vanessa Jameson?”

In the middle of Rose’s match later that night, Rose’s opponent’s manager has the referee distracted and Rose’s opponent takes the opportunity to use underhanded tactics. Suddenly, the clown girl from the previous week skips out to the ring, baseball bat in hand, and gets up on the apron and hits Rose’s opponent with the bat, then gets down off the apron and backs away from the ring and smiles at Rose. Rose is flabbergasted, but takes the opportunity to cover her opponent and the referee turns around and counts one, two, three.

The referee raises Rose’s hand, but she doesn’t spend much time celebrating as she goes and grabs a microphone. “Girl, I don’t know what your game is, but I’ll bite. I want you and me to have a match next week, just you and me. And since I’m the champ, I’ll play with you in a no disqualification match.” Velvet Jinx swung her bat around, then turned around and shook her butt while smiling and looking at Rose. This made Rose blush and she tried not to smile herself.

The next week, Rose found Vanessa Jameson in her office, working as Manuel Bruno’s secretary as usual. “Vanessa! There you are!” Rose said as she entered Vanessa’s office.

“Oh hey Rose! How are you?” Vanessa stood up and hugged Rose.

“Haven’t you heard? There’s this crazy clown girl who keeps stalking me, but I don’t know what her goal is. If she’s a friend or an enemy.” Rose explained.

Vanessa suddenly got serious. “I see. No I haven’t heard about it, but I promise you, if anyone messes with you, I’ll always have your back. E-even though I’m not a wrestler.”

“I appreciate it bestie. I’ve got that clown girl, Velvet Jinx, in a match tonight though.” said Rose

“Love you bestie.” Vanessa kissed Rose on the cheek.

It was time for the match and both ladies, Rose & Velvet Jinx got in the ring. Rose came out to “Monster” by Skillet as her theme, and Velvet Jinx came out to “Super Freak” by Rick James as her theme. The bell rings, but instead of going for a collar and elbow tie-up, Velvet Jinx plays mindgames by licking Rose on the cheek in the same spot Vanessa kissed her. Rose blushes again and gets this feeling of deja vu.

They decide to get on with their match, but they’re not trying to seriously hurt each other. Velvet Jinx rolls outside the ring to catch a breather. She crawls around to the other side of the ring on the floor and pulls out a water gun from under the ring and holds it up for the crowd to see. However, Rose comes out of the ring behind and grabs the gun as Velvet Jinx is holding it. Velvet Jinx turns around and struggles with Rose, but Rose kicks Velvet Jinx in the gut and succeeds in taking the water gun. Then she holds the water gun down at her side and aims it at Velvet Jinx like a shotgun and pulls the trigger and sprays Velvet Jinx in the face with water. Velvet Jinx’s clown makeup gets washed off, and she covers her face, embarrassed. Rose stops spraying and lowers the water gun. Velvet Jinx without her makeup uncovers her face and looks at Rose, but she’s crying. “Vanessa?” says Rose in disbelief and drops the water. Velvet Jinx runs up the ramp away from her and Rose walks behind her. The match ends in a no contest.

Rose finds Velvet or Vanessa crying in the bathroom. “Vanessa… or Velvet.” Rose said as she approached her.

Vanessa continued crying for a few more seconds before speaking. “I did this to impress you. Now no one will look at me the same again.”

“No, you did impress me, Vanessa.” said Rose as she crouched down by Vanessa.

“Really?” asked Vanessa as she looked up at Rose.

“Yes, and I can relate to how you feel. When the world has their expectation of who you should be, and then there’s the version who you want to be.” said Rose. The two girls looked at each other and smiled for a moment.

“Let’s be weird together.” said Vanessa as they both got to their feet.

YANDERE

Femboy Francis has been dating a Tsundere named Amber for a few months. They love each other, but the Amber can be hot-headed and calls Femboy Francis “stupid” and an “idiot”. One day, Femboy Francis wakes up tied up in Piper’s bedroom. She laughs obsessively and talks in a shaky voice. “H-hello. Don’t be afraid. My name is Piper. I know who you are, Francis. You’re all mine now, Femboy Francis. I-I love you so much, and I’ll be so good to you, you’ll never want to leave me. You’ll want to forget about that other girl instead.”

“Why are you doing this, Piper?” asked Francis.

“Oh, Francis, I’m your biggest fan. I’ve gone to just about all of your matches, following you and hoping for the right moment to capture you. But when I saw you with that tramp, Amber, I… I got jealous and I knew I had to make a move. I love you, Francis. I’ll take good care of you.”

“Thanks, Piper. I love you too.” Francis almost forced out. “Amber’s gonna be looking for me soon.”

“Shh.” Piper put her finger on Francis’s mouth.

Femboy Francis spends several days as Piper’s prisoner. Due to him being a femboy and not necessarily your traditional masculine man, he develops Stockholm Syndrome for Piper more easier. She asks him an important question. “Hey, Femboy Francis. I have a match against HER this Friday on Fury Unleashed. Commissioner Bruno has decided you should be the guest referee. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision and call it straight down the middle in that match…”

Femboy Francis comes out first in his referee attire. “The following women’s non-title match is scheduled for one fall.” Says the ring announcer. “Introducing the special guest referee for this contest, Femboy Francis.” Francis enters the ring, not spending much time putting on a show for the crowd during his entrance.

Next Piper comes out. “Introducing the challenger. From Tokyo, Japan. Piper!” Piper comes down to the ring and keeps looking at Femboy Francis. She gets near him and looks like she says something to him, then Amber walks out to the stage. Amber puts her hands on her hips and her face starts turning red with anger as she sees Piper and Francis together. She marches down to the ring. “And the women’s champion, Amber!” Amber gets in the ring and before long she and Piper start fighting.

Piper and Amber have their match. Everything seems to be going back to normal. Amber is getting the upper-hand on Piper and is about to go for her Finish, until…

Femboy Francis hits Amber with a clothesline! Then he picks her up and hits her with his Finish the Tornado DDT. Piper recovers from the moderate beating she took from Amber and quickly goes for the pin. Femboy Francis does a normal slow count “One…two…three.”

The crowd boos and they’re in shock that Femboy Francis would stoop to this level.

“Here is your winner, Piper!” says the announcer.

TRAP FIGHTING

Amber comes out to the ring and demands demands Femboy Francis to fight her for the KSW Women’s Title. “Francis, you no good son of a b***h! I’m ready for you to come out here now and fight me! That is, if you’re man enough. I’ll take you and that skank both on, here tonight! I’ll even put my women’s championship on the line too!” The crowd gets fired up and Amber holds up her women’s championship as she puts it on the line.

It’s an intense match for like ten to fifteen minutes, but Femboy Francis emerges victorious. On the next episode of Fury Unleashed, Femboy Francis relinquishes the KSW Women’s Championship. Francis goes to the ring with Piper by his side and the KSW Women’s Championship on his shoulder. “I didn’t want to have to compete against Amber. It’s not right for men to ruin women’s sports, so I’m relinquishing the KSW Women’s Championship belt…” He takes the KSW Women’s title belt off his shoulder and holds it in his hand. “And giving it to my beloved Piper.” Francis hands the belt to Piper and she jumps up and down with joy. This is like Andre the Giant giving the WWF Title to the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase.

YOU’RE UNDER ARREST

Piper the Yandere and Femboy Francis leave the arena and walk back to the parking lot. Piper is smiling and practically skipping for joy as she has her man by her side and the KSW Women’s Title belt on her shoulder, her mission complete. However, when they get to Francis’s car, they see a police squad car parked next to it with the lights blinking and a female police officer standing by. When they approach their car the police officer speaks up.

“Halt.” the female police officer puts her hand up to stop Piper and Francis. They stop. The police officer turns to speak to Piper. “This is Officer America. Piper, you’re under arrest for kidnapping.”

“What?” Piper and Francis’s smiles quickly fade.

America almost manhandles Piper as she turns her around and puts Piper’s upper body on the hood of the squad car and puts her hands behind her back her back to handcuff her. “Turn around and don’t resist arrest.”

“Francis do something!”

“You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say and do can be used against you. We’ll get you a lawyer as needed.”

Francis grabs America by the shoulder and pulls her around to face him, then shoves her back away from Piper to the chest before she can cuff her. “Hey screw the police! What the hell are you doing?! Sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong?” Piper quickly gets off the squad car and stands behind Francis.

“Assaulting a police officer? That’s another offence for both of you.” America quickly writes it down on her notebook, puts the notebook away, then crosses her arms.

“I bet Amber called you.” said Piper. “Because she’s too much of a coward to face a problem like this without calling the cops.”

“How about you and Amber take us on in tag team match, America?” Challenged Francis. “If we win. You leave us alone. If you win, Amber… gets back the KSW Women’s Championship and you can arrest us.”

“Hmph.” America uncrosses her arms and walks forward. “Fine. Anything to restore law, order, and justice around here.”

America makes sure Piper and Francis go back to their locker room, then she goes to Amber and informs her of their tag team match. This way Francis and Piper have an actual match instead of just cutting a promo. Once the match starts, there is a size advantage between Amber and America’s team over Piper and Francis’s team. Amber is about 5’6. America is about 5’8. Whereas Francis is 5’9 or 5’10 and Piper is about 5’2.

Because of that, Piper and Francis are the underdogs in this match, but they’re also the heels, so they use underhanded tactics and cheat whenever they can. There’s no disqualification on the outside of the ring so America fights back by using her night stick as a weapon on the outside to debilitate Piper and Francis.

Piper at one point is able to jump up and get her sleeper hold on Amber or America. Amber rolls outside of the ring with Piper on top of her, choking her out with the sleeper hold. America walks over to the ropes, distracted by Amber and Piper rolling out of the ring. Femboy Francis runs up behind America and does a schoolboy roll-up to her. The referee counts the pin, “one… two… three!” Ding ding ding! Francis rolls outside the ring, goes over to the timekeeper’s desk and takes the women’s championship from the timekeeper. He walks back around the ring and gives the belt to Piper. “Here are your winners, Femboy Francis and Piper!” said the announcer. America stands in the middle of the ring with her hands on her hips, flabbergasted that Francis and Piper were able to get the victory. Francis then retreats up the ramp with Piper. Francis and Piper make haste to leave the arena like they just got away with bank robbery.

America checks on her friend Amber and helps her to her feet.

Francis and Piper run to the parking lot, and get in Francis’s car. Francis does a burnout in the parking lot before speeding away. They get home. Piper wraps her arms around Francis’s neck and gives him kisses on his cheeks and lips. “That was a close one.”

Francis lifts up Piper and holds her thighs with his hands. “Yeah, it was.” Francis walks over to the bed and sets her down. They both get under the covers and embrace each other, for God only knows how much longer they’ll be together like this.

The Commissioner Steps In

The next week on KSW Fury Unleashed, Commissioner Manuel Bruno comes out to the ring and grabs a microphone. “You’ve all seen the soap opera that’s been going on for the past few weeks between Piper, Femboy Francis, and Amber, and how Francis beat America with a roll-up pin last week. I think it’s time for someone to step in to restore order around here in Kingdom Saints Wrestling, don’t you? Which is why, here tonight, in this very ring, Amber will be getting her rematch against Piper for the KSW Women’s Title. And just to make sure there’s no funny business, America will be the special enforcer in that match.”

With that being said, Commissioner Manuel Bruno walks back to his office. On the way there, he’s confronted by Francis with Piper behind him. “Commissioner Bruno, what are you doing?! Are you crazy?! This must be a conspiracy to take the belt off my Piper!”

“Francis, I get that you’re in love, but are seriously telling me that stunt you pulled a couple weeks ago wasn’t a conspiracy to take the belt off of Amber? Had I known you and Piper were in cahoots with each other earlier, I never would’ve made you the special guest referee for that match. It’s time to make amends, and it’s time to put up or shut up.”

As booked, Amber and Piper have their KSW Women’s Title match with America on the outside of the ring as the special enforcer. When Femboy Francis attempts to interfere while the referee is distracted, America gets a hold of him and handcuffs him, then she takes a whip off her gunbelt and whips Francis while he’s prone on the floor. Piper tries to use underhanded tactics to get a victory, even trying to throw a punch at America, but America counters with a right hook, knocking down Piper and stunning her. Amber is able to do her finish on Piper, and America gets in the ring and counts “one… two… three!” nice and slow and not a fast count like Mike Tyson at Wrestlemania 14. Amber wins back her Women’s Title, and thus concludes the story of the Women’s Division.

NORTH AMERICAN CHAMPIONSHIP

Commissioner Bruno: “Since the KSW World Champion’s reign of terror never seems to end, we’re honored to introduce a secondary, shall we say, world champion? It would be too cliche to just introduce a Television Title as the secondary world title like so many companies have. No, ladies and gentlemen, we’re re-introducing a championship that hasn’t been used in over forty years…”

Commissioner Bruno takes the cloth off of the belt stand to reveal the beautiful championship belt. “The North American Championship as a tribute to the first ever North American Champion Ted DiBiase. Not only will the North American Champion be the champion of the United States, but he’ll also represent Canada, Mexico, and the rest of the countries on this continent too. It’s like a mix of the United States Championship and Intercontinental Championship. And to decide the North American Champion, we’ll be having two gladiators face each other for the belt, here tonight!”

Announcer: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first: from Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at two hundred twenty five pounds, Simon Malice!” Simon Malice walks to the ring.

Announcer: “And his opponent. From Lancaster, Pennsylvania, weighing in at 350 pounds, Barnabas!” The Amish farmboy makes his way to the ring, dressing like this is 1662. Adorned with a purple everyday shirt, black overalls, black everyday pants, work boots, and a beard with the mustache trimmed off. Most of his outfit is made of cotton except his boots are made of leather.

JR: “Joining us on commentary for this singles matchup is none other than the Million Dollar Man himself, Ted DiBiase.”

Ted DiBiase: Thanks for having me here. I bet even you two can admit that everyone has a price for the Million Dollar Man.” Ted does his infamous evil laugh. “But no seriously, whoever becomes the KSW North American Champion has to realize they need to pay their dues to become the champ like I did.”

It looks as if Barnabas is winning. He taunts for the crowd while Simon Malice is kneeled in the corner, grabbing brass knucks from his boot. He turns around and hits Barnabas when the referee isn’t paying attention, then he pins Barnabas. “One, two, three.”

Ted DiBiase: “Ooh! Oldest trick in the book.”

“Here is your winner, and the inaugural Kingdom Saints Wrestling North American Champion, Simon Malice!” The crowd boos the new champion. Simon Malice lifts the KSW North American Title above his head in victory which makes the crowd even more angry. Ted DiBiase gets in the ring with a microphone in his hand. “Now look I may not like how you became the KSW North American Champion, but since your win is in the books, I want to give you the respect you deserve as the champ.”

Simon Malice gets another microphone. “Ted, sometimes you gotta break a few hearts to get what you want in life. You know that better than anyone. And you’re damn right. You have to like me, but you gotta respect me!” Simon Malice shakes Ted DiBiase’s hand and Ted raises Simon Malice’s arm as the new champion. Malice holds up the belt with his other arm. DiBiase isn’t happy but he isn’t mad either, because Malice is right. He was a heel at one point too and he achieved countless victories from winning by any means necessary.

Since Barnabas is a gentleman, he doesn’t retaliate or try to sue Simon Malice over his controversial victory. Instead he walks back to the dressing room holding his jaw.

Simon Malice

Simon Malice is billed from Atlanta, Georgia. He acts like a Hollywood bigshot and sees professional wrestling as a stepping stone to fulfill his dream to be an actor. He’s one of the few wrestlers who wears a speedo to the ring instead of pants like most of the roster. As for his street attire though he wears a suit and sunglasses and acts like he’s going to be walking on the red carpet. On top of that, he’s a good technical wrestler and does the figure four leglock as his signature and the Texas Cloverleaf as his finisher. The downside might be he’s only 5’10 and is okay at cutting a promo. Simon Malice is someone who has an amateur background in high school and college, graduated at the top of his class and is someone who’s destined for greatness and knows it.

SALT TYPHOON’S FIRST LOSS

Salt Typhoon has a match against Simon Malice for the KSW North American Championship on an episode of Fury Unleashed. Salt Typhoon looks like he’s going to win the match. He hits Simon with a superkick to the face and pins him. The referee counts the pin. “One… two…”

Suddenly, the referee gets pulled out of the ring by Black Vulture who came out of nowhere. He punches the referee down and walks up to the ramp, Typhoon and Vulture never taking their eyes off each other.

“THAT SON OF A B***H!” Exclaims Jim Ross on commentary. “Damn Black Vulture! Damn His Soul! He just costed Salt Typhoon the title!”

Salt Typhoon picks up Simon Malice and throws him outside the ring, then he looks back at Black Vulture and give the “bring it on” gesture with both hands, challenging him to enter the ring. Black Vulture is reluctant at first, but then obliges, running into the ring and throwing hands with Salt Typhoon. They’re both martial arts experts, so they’re both trying to best the other like they’re having the match instead. Eventually, Salt Typhoon gets the upper hand, kicking Black Vulture over the top rope to the outside. Another referee runs out to restore order, and Simon Malice makes his way back to the ring. He does a schoolboy roll up on Salt Typhoon and the referee quickly gets in position to count the pin “One, two three”, not noticing that Simon’s feet are on the ropes since this finish is all happening so fast. The bell rings, and Simon Malice rolls back out of the ring, gets his North American Title belt, and walks back up the ramp to meet with Black Vulture, who he has formed an unnofficial alliance with.

SALT TYPHOON’S VIGNETTE

It cuts to Salt Typhoon’s vignette. The cameraman walks into the men’s bathroom to see the Japanese wrestler leaning over the sink and looking in the mirror. Once the camera gets close enough to Salt Typhoon, you can hear him breathing. Then he says in a low voice, “Anata wa ji no shiodesu.” The subtitles show the translation: “You are the salt of the earth.” A couple seconds later, once the cameraman has his back against the wall, Salt Typhoon gets off the sink and looks directly into the camera, then it goes static for a second and the vignette ends.

After Salt Typhoon’s debut match in a three on one jobber gauntlet, and having a couple matches after that, Salt Typhoon gets interviewed backstage.

Interviewer: “So Salt Typhoon, you seem to have quite a bit of momentum and you’re getting over with the fans here in Kingdom Saints Wrestling, do you have anything to say about Simon Malice interfering in your match and causing your first loss in KSW?”

Salt Typhoon doesn’t say anything. Instead he looks at the interviewer and leans in close, breathing heavily with an intense look in his eyes. The interviewer is leaning back and looks intimidated. After a few seconds, Salt Typhoon backs off and walks away. The interviewer straightens up and looks at the camera for a few seconds to wait for Salt Typhoon to leave, and says, “Well folks, there you have it.”

TRAP FIGHTING II

Simon Malice comes out to the ring and issues a challenge. “As the reigning North American Champion, I’m issuing a challenge to that Femboy Francis. Is he a boy? Is he a girl? I guess we’ll find out right?”

Femboy Francis comes out. “Hey, I’m one hundred percent man, and I’ll kick your a*s, Mr. Malice!”

They fight for the KSW North American Title. In the middle of the match, the referee gets knocked out. Salt Typhoon comes out and throws salt in Simon Malice’s face after Simon Malice has been fighting dirty for like fifteen minutes. Femboy Francis hits his finisher on Simon Malice. The ref wakes up and slowly counts “one… two… three.” Ding ding ding. “Here is your winner, and the NEW Kingdom Saints Wrestling North American Champion, Femboy Francis!”

BLACK VULTURE’S SINGLES RUN

Black Vulture comes out to the ring to cut a promo. He grabs a mic and pauses to wait for the audience to settle down before talking. “For the longest time, I’ve been tethered on a leash by my master. But now, I’m free to take the KSW North American Championship and be my own master and the new ruler of the world.” Black Vultures targets are the faces Femboy Francis & Amish Barnabas as well as the antihero Salt Typhoon, since Vulture already has history with Francis and Barnabas because they’re Jesus Freak’s friends. Black Vulture’s feud with Francis could be what causes Francis to turn heel eventually.

Black Vulture unofficially has an alliance with Simon Malice since they’re both heels and team up together in a couple of matches, but their alliance is shortlived, as Vulture finds a protege.

Black Vulture’s finishers are the Talon Cutter (front Diamond Cutter) and Wing Clipper (back Vertebreaker). He has a protege who’s a black Canadian named Larry who’s a rookie, likes video games and high spots and his favorite wrestler is Rob Van Dam. Larry Blaze is his wrestling name or L.B. for short. Larry Blaze is a reference to Abdullah the Butcher’s real name being a Canadian named Larry, and Blaze fitting in with the Philistines’ theme of lightning and hellfire.

Larry Blaze would do high spots against his opponents. At first Larry Blaze & Black Vulture would face off against jobbers so when Larry Blaze makes mistakes it won’t cost them the match there. Even though this is called Black Vulture singles run it can still work with tag team matches since Vulture is naturally a tag team wrestler. Vulture and Larry won’t win the tag team titles together since Goliath is already Black Vulture’s tag team partner for that.

Larry Blaze doing high spots and stunts for cheap pops would cost him in some matches though like his match against Femboy Francis. Black Vulture stands outside the ring with his arms crossed and observes the match, then when the match is over and Larry Blaze is battered and on the canvas, he comes into the ring. Black Vulture looks down at him a moment before going down to the mat and hitting the canvas and shouting “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” like Randy Orton. A few seconds later, he helps Larry Blaze to his feet, then slaps him in the face and looks him in the eye, disappointed he lost the match.

Black Vulture sees Larry Blaze as useful even though he’s a mark and thinks wrestling is about high spots and crazy stunts whereas Black Vulture wants him to learn that it’s about control and being assertive.

Larry Blaze helps Black Vulture cheat against Salt Typhoon in their match for the North American Title. Larry Blaze interferes and distracts Salt Typhoon, then Black Vulture turns Salt Typhoon around, throws salt in his eyes then hits him with the Talon Cutter and pins him one, two three.

A few days later, Black Vulture and Larry Blaze are sparring in an empty arena. Vulture is being a little too rough with Larry, giving him potatoes for punches and putting him submissions like armbar and single leg Boston crab for real. The arena is so quiet that all you can hear is that electrical humming sound as well as Larry’s screams and Vulture’s grunts. This is being taped for part of the next episode of KSW Fury Unleashed. Black Vulture’s conscience, if he even has a conscience, makes him feel like he’s being watched. He let’s go of the hold he’s doing on Larry Blaze and turns around and sees Salt Typhoon sitting and watching. “What are you doing here?” asks Vulture.

There’s an uncomfortable pause for a moment while Black Vulture’s patience is wearing thing, before Typhoon replies “God is always watching.”

A few seconds later, Larry Blaze dropkicks Black Vulture in the back with a steel chair, since during this little standoff between Black Vulture and Salt Typhoon, it gave Larry enough time to catch his breath, grab a steel chair, go up to the top rope, and hit his high-spot like RVD.

FATAL FOURWAY

Black Vulture can interfere in the match so it’s like a fatal fiveway. Since Black Vulture and Simon Malice are both heels they can be on the same side kind of.

BARNABAS & ALEKSANDR

Aleksandr hits Barnabas with belly-to-belly superplex off the top rope. Both men are lying in the middle of the ring while the referee counts to ten. As Aleksandr gets to his feet, the bell rings.

The ring announcer says “The fifteen minute time limit has expired, therefore this contest has ended in a draw.” Aleksandr goes to Barnabas barely moving on the mat. Will he keep beating him down? The match is over. Aleksandr grabs Barnabas hand and pulls him up to his feet.

“Barnabas,” Aleksandr says as he catches his breath. “Look at vhat they’re doing to us and how bad we beat each other before our match at Gog and Magog. Nyet, they want us to kill each other. My brother in Christ, what do you say we give up on fighting each other and instead fight alongside each other, and get those KSW Tag Team Titles instead?”

Barnabas, teary eyed, nods his head in approval and mouths “Ja” before he and Aleksandr hug. Then they leave the ring.

This is how the North American Championship storyline ends.

TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS

The Philistines come out to the ring to cut another promo about how dominant they are. This time, Dracula’s wife Lilith gets a chance to speak, with Goliath and Black Vulture by her side. Dracula and Dr. Fooker are nowhere to be found. Lilith has a glass of wine in one hand and the microphone in the other. She’s wearing her purple and red outfit with pearls around her neck, and gold earrings and her clothing lined with gold.

After talking for a few minutes, suddenly “Come Out Ye Black and Tans” starts playing, and Seamus & Big Fella come out. They’re a couple of Americans of Irish descent with red hair and beards. Both guys holding shilelaghs in their hand, Seamus holding a microphone in his other hand, and Big Fella holding the green, white, and orange Ireland flag on a pole over his shoulder with the other hand.

Seamus, with an Irish accent, says: “Top of the mornin’ to ya.”

The crowd cheers. Anything is better than the Philistines.

“I’m Seamus.” Points to Big Fella. “This is Big Fella. We are the FBI: the Full Blooded Irish!” Big Fella puts his shilelagh down and grabs the flag pole with both hands and waves the Ireland flag around proudly for a couple seconds before Seamus continues talking. “We ain’t the Federal Investigation Beureau. In fact, the only folks who have been fibbing are the snakes in the ring. But us Full Blooded Irish are experts at exterminating all the snakes in the land, like the great Saint Patrick. Now that I think about it, Dracula is a Halloween character ain’t he Big Fella?” He asks Big Fella rhetorically. “Well, us Irish invented Halloween, so he don’t scare us. We invented the Irish whip and we invented professional wrestling. You know Big Fella, Dracula might just be the King of England in disguise, and these Philistines deserve a beating like we give English Loyalists. But we want it for the KSW Tag Team Title Belts. So what do you say?”

Dracula and the Philistines are trying to hold their anger, but Dracula gets an idea and speaks to the Philistines privately before speaking to the FBI. “I am five thousand years old! You did not invent me, peasant! You want the match? You got it! Here tonight! But it’s your funeral and you’ll regret ever blaspheming the Almighty Prince of Darkness!”

The Full Blooded Irish fight Goliath and Black Vulture in a normal tag team match, but it ends by a double DQ because they brawl on the outside of the ring and use weapons. With no winner, the F.B.I. make a proposition for a rematch. “Since our hatred for each other is too extreme to be a regular tag team match, how about we have a good old fashioned Dublin Street Fight Tornado Tag Team Match for the KSW Tag Team Title belts?”

DUBLIN STREET FIGHT

This is the Dublin Street Fight tornado tag team match for the KSW Tag Team Championships. Goliath and Black Vulture fight dirty, but Seamus and Big Fella fight dirty back with choke holds, low blows, and thumb to the eye. They also take the fight to the outside of the ring. Seamus and Big Fella Irish whip Goliath and Black Vulture into the barricade and use weapons. The F.B.I. don’t care so much about wins and losses as they do about popularity and their love for fighting.

Seamus reaches under the ring and pulls out a barbed wire baseball bat. He holds it up in the air and the crowd chants “Jesus Freak, Jesus Freak”, to remember the wrestler who used it famously.

Both teams use steel chairs as weapons as well, colliding chairs like it’s a sword fight before one team gets the advantage.

During the match, Seamus takes an empty liquor bottle and smashes it over Goliath’s head.

The match ends with Big Fella doing a Super Samoan Drop off the top rope to Black Vulture and threw a wooden table. Big Fella is standing on the second rope though when he does the Super Samoan Drop. Goliath is still dazed and knocked unconscious on the outside of the ring from getting a liquor bottle smashed over his head as well as a steel chair shot to the head from Seamus. Big Fella covers Black Vulture on the smashed table, and the referee counts “one… two… three!” Ding ding ding! “Here are your winners, and the NEW Kingdom Saints Wrestling Tag Team Champions, Seamus and Big Fella, the Full Blooded Irish!” Says the announcer on the mic. There’s a standing ovation for the F.B.I., and Seamus and Big Fella grab their title belts and celebrate in the ring.

WAR IN EUROPE

In the locker room, the F.B.I., Seamus and Big Fella, confront Barnabas. “Hey Barnabas, what are you doing hanging around t’at communist Aleksandr? I t’ought we were your friends?”

“Ja,” replied Barnabas before standing up. “You may be my friends, but we want your tag team titles.”

“Oh really?” inquired Seamus. “T’en where is your tag partner?”

Aleksandr walks out of the bathroom in just his shower trunks and a towel around his neck. He looks around the locker room at Barnabas and the F.B.I. “Is there trouble?”

“T’ere is if you want some.” Big Fella and Aleksandr approach each other, practically nose to nose.

“We ain’t givin’ up our belts easy, fellas.” said Seamus as he also stood off with Barnabas.

“Let’s settle this in the ring, not like dogs.” declared Aleksandr.

Later, the two teams go out to the ring for their match, with the challengers Aleksandr & Barnabas coming out first, then the tag team champions Seamus and Big Fella the F.B.I. At the start of the match, the bell rings and Barnabas offers his hand to Seamus to shake it. Seamus reluctantly obliges and shakes Barnabas’s hand while looking each other in the eye.

Barnabas and Seamus and Big Fella have a wrestling match like normal. However, Aleksandr is the wild card in this match when he gets tagged in. The crowd goes “ooh…” when Aleksandr gets in the ring, going under the second rope like wrestlers normally do. He has like this confident pout on his face like he knows he’s the unpredictable in this match. Aleksandr and Seamus get ready for a collar-and-elbow tie-up, but Aleksandr quickly goes behind Seamus and slams his down with a belly-to-back suplex. Seamus gets up, selling his pain, and is like “I want none of this,” and tags in Big Fella. Big Fella gets in over the top rope and walks to the center of the ring to where Aleksandr is. They lock up, and Big Fella hits Aleksandr with a body slam. Aleksandr gets right back up.

The four wrestlers keep having their back and forth match, until Goliath and Black Vulture run out to get their revenge with Lilith walking behind them. Goliath and Black Vulture catch Barnabas by surprise and throw him off the ring apron to the floor with a thud and start punching and kicking him. The referee calls for the bell. Aleksandr, Big Fella, and Seamus are confused at first then see the Philistines attacking Barnabas. Aleksandr quickly comes to the aid of his friend Barnabas with Seamus and Big Fella behind him. Aleksandr gets a couple punches in on Goliath and Black Vulture but they quickly back away up the ramp with Lilith like a bunch of dogs.

Lilith, with a microphone in her hand, says something egotistical. “The amount of asinine peasants that are here in one place is truly remarkable.”

On the big screen, Commissioner Manuel Bruno appears. “We have a big Special Event coming up this Sunday, and I have an idea for a match that’ll really blow people away. A triple threat tag team ladder match for the KSW Tag Team Titles.” The crowd cheers at this bizarre match type. “It’ll be Aleksandr and Barnabas vs. Goliath and Black Vulture vs. the current KSW tag team champions Seamus and Big Fella.”

LADDERS MATCH

The Ladder Match ends with Barnabas, Seamus and Big Fella all fighting Goliath and Black Vulture on the outside of the ring by the corner of the barricade between the steel steps and the announcers’ table. Aleksandr, with his military experience, sees the opportunity and gets a ladder, sets it up in the middle of the ring, climbs it and pulls down the KSW tag team titles. The other five wrestlers don’t even realize what happened because they’re all fighting on the outside of the ring.

Author's Note

I realize that the story of wrestling never ends so that's why I haven't given Kingdom Saints Wrestling a formal ending. I don't know how to fix the black highlighted text.

Reviews

[ETERNITY]

Play with your editor. MAKE SURE TO KEEP A COPY BEFORE YOU EDIT. It's good. Very realistic. I wonder what Sabbath song is Dracula's theme?

[Bigfoot Writes Stuff]

Yeah I usually write these elsewhere before copy & pasting them here. I was thinking N.I.B. or Sabbath Bloody Sabbath would be Dracula's theme song, although any one works.

[ETERNITY]

Sabbath Bloody Sabbath.
You know, it's Dracula.

[lizzie]

Hello! Your writing carries a strong emotional clarity, and the flow feels effortless. While reading, I kept visualizing scenes in a comic format.
I’m a professional comic/webtoon artist open to commissions, and I’d love to discuss a visual direction if you’re interested.
Instagram: lizziedoesitall