The Man, The Dude, The Guy

This is the first draft that I wrote of The Man, The Dude, The Guy. This is a project that I started in spring 2025 and the premise of this was a crossover between a young Mick Foley & Nicole Class 09

The Man, The Dude, The Guy

Prologue

Yeah, you could say I'm just a guy. I'm Jack. An unattractive guy who crashes cars and eats cheeseburgers. I'm destined for mediocrity not greatness, right? My life was pretty normal. I grew up with both my parents and my older brother Jamie. Drinking water from a hose, watching wrestling, wrestling with each other. Watching SpongeBob. Jamie teaching me from a young age how to say dirty phrases like “suck it.” Jamie and I were really tight. We'd ride in the same vehicle together, share bank accounts together. We were truly like brothers. He had a girlfriend here at Lakeside Private High School, but she graduated so she's no longer goes there. Their relationship had problems but Jamie kept most of it to himself and he was always a happy-go-lucky guy. One time he had OD’d on sleeping pills at a friend's house but he survived and when he woke up at the hospital he was still his fun-loving self around me and our parents. Jamie is about three years older than me, so about a month after the OD he went to a party that was 18+, and I couldn't. And looking back, thank God I couldn't. Because on that fateful night in May 2009… Jamie and his friends at the party went for a little drive at night. The driver was intoxicated, so he lost control of the vehicle and crashed… Jamie flew out the windshield and died from the impact on a rock during the accident… That was the saddest day of my life. All these months later, 16 year old me, Jack the Guy, is still trying to come to terms with Jamie's passing, and hopefully I'll make my big bro in Heaven proud…

This is my life.

Intro

Jack is in his bedroom getting dressed for school. He’s wearing a pair of blue jeans, white socks, sneakers, and a white shirt under his flannel shirt. He puts on his red and black flannel shirt, buttons it up, and looks in the mirror. “Cemetery Gates” by Pantera is playing in the background. Jack opens up a drawer and looks at a picture of him and his older brother Jamie having a happy memory together, which brings tears to Jack’s eyes. Jamie had passed away about a year ago from a car accident after being comatose in the hospital for a week. He puts the picture back after looking at it for a moment, then goes downstairs, kisses his mother goodbye, and goes outside. He walks to his car, opens up the back, and puts his backpack in and closes back door. After that he gets in the front seat, buckles up, puts the key in, starts the ignition and drives to school while still listening to “Cemetery Gates” since that song is seven minutes long.

Once the song is over, Jack pulls into the school parking lot, crashes his car and does cartwheels in the parking lot with it because the brakes are shite. However, no major damage was done to Jack or the vehicle. “S**t, I still need to fix those stupid breaks.” Jack says to himself. Jack unbuckles, gets out of his car, shuts the door, and goes to the back of the car and gets his backpack. He puts the backpack strap on his shoulder and walks to the front door of the school to go in. Before he goes in, he stops and thinks to himself, Here we go again, while looking up at the school building and how it steeples. It’s Junior year after all. 

He walks up the stairs, pushes the door open, and walks inside. In the hallway he sees Emily, the attractive blonde popular girl, talking to her friends. She wears a grey shirt and tight blue jeans like women do. Jack walks to his locker to empty his bag and put stuff he doesn’t need right now into his locker. Emily turns and she and Jack make eye contact. Jack does a quick wave to Emily, and she shows a bit of vulnerability for a moment before turning back to her friends. One of her friends continues talking. “Have you seen the wrestling captain Brad? Oh my gods! Like, he’s so hot!”

As Jack continues walking down the hall, he sees a nerd getting harrassed by a jock.

“Har har, you like anime and robots, nerd? What are you, a Power Ranger?”

The nerd sighs and is hunched forward from the jock’s imposing appearance. “Randy, leave me alone. It's my passion, okay?”

“Your passion is being in an Asian fantasy land?” mocks Randy.

Jack decides to step in and looks Randy in the eye. “Hey get lost Randy! Quit picking on someone smaller than you, you insecure son of a b***h!”

Randy backs away, trying to play things cool and puts his hands up in a “woah buddy” gesture. “Woah looks like someone's got some stones. Just wait until Brad hears about this.” Randy turns and runs away with his tail tucked between his legs. Jack turns to the nerd. “Hey are you okay man?”

“Yeah, thank you, uh…”

“Jack.”

“Jack. I'm Miles. Randy is apart of Brad's jock clique. He's been bullying me for years for liking anime and robots.”

“Nice to meet you Miles.” Jack and Miles shake hands. “You seem pretty smart, and who am I to judge? There's worse things you can like than anime and robots.”

Jack stands up to Student Body President and Vice President in classroom while Emily watches. Vice President challenges Jack to a wrestling match. Jack wins.

Jack asks popular girl Emily out to the dance even though he can’t dance.

In the end Jack challenges the jock to a wrestling match to become state champion.

Jack Buys His Journal

After school, Jack goes to the store and goes to the school supplies section. He bends down and looks at the selection. “Let's see, what would make a good journal?” He sees a black and white composition notebook with about a hundred pages and takes it. He walks over to the checkout aisle to the cashier and gets the composition notebook scanned.

“That’ll be two dollars, sir.” says the cashier.

Jack takes out two dollars from his pocket and hands it to the cashier. “Thank you very much.” says Jack. Jack walks to the car with the composition notebook in his hand, and he looks at it while thinking of ideas. He opens up the door to the driver's seat of his car and sits down, then he reaches over and opens up the glove box and puts the composition notebook in there then closes it. Jack then buckles up, starts his car, and drives back to his house. He takes the composition notebook out of the glove box, gets out of the car, then walks up to his bedroom and sits down at his desk. Before he gets down to business he walks over to the bathroom across the hall and washes his hands ans dries them since he was out in public where things are dirty at school and at the store. Once he's done with that he goes back to his bedroom and sits down at his desk. He looks for a pen and grabs one in his pencil can. He starts off by writing “Jack's journal” on the cover where there's a little space to write, then he opens up to the first page. Jack was excited to put pen to paper. He enjoyed writing about anything, everything, or nothing at all. He scratched his chin and contemplated whether he should just write with no greeting like a journal, or should he turn this into a diary where he says “Dear Diary” or perhaps “Dear Jamie”? I don't want to feel like crying every time I write in this. Thought Jack. Jack scooted closer in his chair and held his pen like he's ready to write. “Well here goes.”

Monday, August 31st, 2009

I bought a journal from the store today. I was debating on whether to treat this as a journal or a diary, but I think a “diary” would be too feminine and emotional, so I'll just stick with calling it a journal. I still can't believe Jamie has been gone since last spring, and here I was driving reckless and doing cartwheels with my vehicle in the school parking lot like a car accident is nothing. I'm sure Jamie would get a kick out of that since he always did like to live on the edge. Anyway, today is the first day back at Lakeside High School so God willing it won't be hell like the other years. I met eyes with Emily today. Something is different about that girl, even though she's in the popular crowd. I should ask her out on a date the next time I see her. I know, I know. That's a pretty ballsy move for someone like me, but I think if you don't have good looks then you should at least have balls and a sense of humor. Speaking of which, one of Brad the franshise’s pals, Randy, was bullying a nerd named Miles and giving him a hard time for whatever reason. He must be just insecure. I wasn't having that crap so I told Randy to back off and he did. So I made a new friend named Miles today.

When Jack is finished writing, he closes the composition notebook, then he puts the cap back on the pen and puts the pen back in the pencil can. Then he picks up the composition notebook, opens up a drawer in his desk and puts the composition notebook in the drawer and closes the drawer. Jack gets up from his chair and puts a wrestling VHS tape into the VCR. In the late 1990's and early 2000’s, Jack's brother Jamie and his dad had made a point of recording every wrestling show they could on VHS tapes in the VCR and watching them later. What they couldn't tape on TV they ordered VHS tapes of wrestling pay-per-views. There must've been at least a hundred VHS tapes at Jack’s house. Jack hit pause on the VCR and went downstairs to prepare a bowl of ramen noodles. Jack just puts them in the microwave but sometimes he wished there were microwave instructions. A few minutes later he returns to his bedroom with the porcelain bowl of chicken ramen and a fork. He set the bowl down on his desk before going and setting up a folding tray for dinner in the middle of his bedroom. He grabbed the TV remote from off his desk and turned the TV on and pressed play on the VCR so he could watch an episode of WWF Raw is War. He put the remote back down on his desk and grabbed the still hot bowl of ramen and put it on the folding tray and turned his chair around and sat in it. Jack said a little prayer first before eating. He enjoyed simple meals like this. Eating some ramen and watching some wrestling. His mother Hannah had stopped watching TV after 9/11 and only sometimes watches television with Jack's father John. Jack does the same and mostly just watches pre-9/11 shows like Seinfeld King of the Hill, & SpongeBob, but Jack's favorite thing out of them all was wrestling. However, Jack preferred the WWF before they changed their name to WWE, and ended up completely quitting watching wrestling live after the death of Chris Benoit in 2007. Something Jack still can't wrap his head around to this day is the circumstances of Benoit's passing, so he just focuses on what makes wrestling fun instead. It sounds like the real world and Jamie's death, doesn't it? 

Jack Meets Nase

The next day at school, Jack goes and meets up with his new friend Miles and chats with him. Then suddenly a muscular black man who appears to be another jock approaches them. Jack and Miles watch the man wondering if he's a friend or foe because of his appearance. “Hi, my name is Nase. I heard about you standing up to one of Brad’s punk’s yesterday. Too bad I wasn't there to see it. It's a pretty big school so I didn't see Miles that much. Anyway, I can't stand those guys which is why I chose boxing as my sport instead of wrestling. Mind if I join your group? It's about time I met someone with some balls around here.”

Jack looks at Miles, then back at Nase, then replies “Sure.” Nase shakes hands with Jack and Miles.

Gym Class

Jack, Miles, and Nase are talking together in the hallway. “What do you have next, Miles and Nase?” asked Jack.

“Oh, I have gym class.” replied Miles.

“Really? The Nase has gym class too.” commented Nase.

“What do you have, Jack?” asked Miles.

Jack opened up his backpack and took out his daily schedule and unfolded it. “Let me see…” Jack inspected the daily schedule. “Oh wow I have gym class too right now.”

“Nice.” remarked Miles.

“I guess we better go there then.” said Nase.

“Yeah, let's go.” said Jack. The trio walked together to gym class. When they got there, the gym coach was standing by the bleachers. On the far end by the stage stood Brad and his clique. Jack, Nase, and Miles walked into the gym and looked at Brad's clique across the gymnasium. The gymnasium is like a basketball court with hoops on four sides and a hardwood floor that's painted like a basketball court and with Lakeside High’s team name on the black out of bounds part. Nicole leaned against the wall on the near side of the gym and texted on her phone and holding a cup of soda from the local fast food restaurant that she sipped occasionally. The coach walked to the center of the gym floor and blew his whistle. “Alright you maggots! Today we're gonna be playing some dodgeball. I was discussing it with Lakeside’s most valuable player Brad that it should be Brad and his friends against Jack, Nase, Miles, and Nicole in a four on four dodgeball game.” As the coach explained, Brad’s clique set up the dodgeballs on the line in the middle of the gym. “Get in position and let's get started.” said the coach.

“Nope, I'm not doing this s**t.” Nicole walked over to the bleachers and took a seat. She drank her iced coffee while looking at her phone.

“Looks like it's four on three then.” Coach turned his head toward Jack and his friends. “Jack, Nase, and Miles, good luck boys. You're gonna need it.” Coach directed his attention to both teams as they all stood with one hand and foot touching the wall.

“You've gotta be kidding me.” Miles said as he turned his head and looked at Jack and Nase. Miles is wearing glasses so that makes it more tough for him.

“On your mark, get set… Go!” The seven competitors run to the middle of the gym to grab some balls. One of Brad's friends throws a ball at Nase, but he dodges out of the way, given his boxing background. Meanwhile Jack and Miles get hit in the face with balls. Miles retreats backwards, but Jack only takes a few steps back so he's not right up to the center line. Jack becomes a target and Brad and his three friends throw dodgeballs at Jack's face while the gym coach doesn't seem to care. After a flurry of balls hits Jack's face, all the dodgeballs are now on Jack's team’s side. Nase decides to grab a ball and fire back. “Enough of this s**t.” Nase says to Jack and Miles as he throws a ball and hits one of Brad's friends in the face.

The coach blows the whistle at Nase. “You're out!”

“What the hell is this?! This is bullshit!” protests Nase.

“I said you're out Nase!” Nase gives no further protest and mutters some curses under his breath as he walks over to the bleachers opposite of where Nicole and the coach are sitting and sits down.

“Is that all you got?” asks Jack, standing dazed with blurred vision and a bloody nose.

“I guess I'd better fight back then.” says Miles. He picks up a dodgeball and throws it at one of Brad's friends who catches it and immediately throws it at Miles hard and it hits him. Miles stumbles down from the force, but gets back up to his feet. The coach blows the whistle. “You're out!”

“Come on, Jack. It's all on you.” Miles says before going and sitting next to Nase.

“Come on Jack, throw some balls at them!” cheers Nase.

Jack shakes out the cobwebs and walks to a ball that's on his side of the court. He picks it up and moves in position to hit someone. He throws it and aims for their legs so they won't be able to catch it. His plan works and the coach blows the whistle for that person to get out on Brad's team. Brad picks up the ball and throws it back at Jack but Jack barely manages to get out of the way. The ball hits the wall, sounding like a gunshot. Jack rushes to get the ball but he slips and lands on his knees as he grabs it. He gets back up to his feet. Instead of throwing the ball to try to get someone out, he thinks his next strategy should be to try to catch the ball. So he tosses the ball over to the other side and it bounces on the floor a few times before rolling to Randy. Randy picks up the ball, looks at Brad and Leonardo, taking his eyes off of Jack for a moment, then he turns his head back at Jack and takes a step forward and chucks the ball at Jack. He aims for Jack's chest. The dodgeball hits Jack in the chest and the impact sounds like a gunshot. It knocks Jack down to the floor, but he holds onto the ball with both arms.

The coach blows the whistle. “You're out!” Nase and Miles cheer for Jack while Nicole is still indifferent to the entire situation. Jack gets back to his feet, catching his breath and recovering from the beating he's taken in this game of dodgeball. Jack decides to throw caution to the wind and just toss all the balls over to Brad and Leonardo the two remaining opponents. It's either testicular fortitude or shear stupidity. As expected, Brad and Leonardo hit Jack with a flurry of dodgeballs and the coach blows the whistle to declare Jack out and to end the game. “That's a wrap.” The coach gets up from his seat and walks to the middle of the gym. “Good job today class. Put the dodgeballs back in the rack then go change your clothes.”

Gym Class Journal Entry

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Today we had our first gym class of the year, and played a game of dodgeball. That would be all well and good if the coach actually cared about the rules. I took the brunt of the dodgeballs surprisingly and not Miles. I have a black eye and I think I have a broken nose. That's one good part about that is I have a high tolerance for punishment. I might've been concussed though because I only remember some of what happened.

Substitute Teacher Uncle Ruckus

The students go to history class. Instead of their usual teacher, it's Uncle Ruckus. He writes “MY NAME IS MR. UNCLE RUCKUS” on the chalkboard, then turns to face the class. “Alright kids, my name is Mr. Professor Uncle Ruckus, no relation. I wrote it nice and big in case any n!@#$s in here can't read too good. Any questions?”

Nicole raised her hand and started talking. “Yeah, why isn't our history teacher here? Aren't you the janitor?”

“Well let me tell you somethin’, Miss, what's your name?” asked Ruckus.

“Nicole.”

“Well let me tell you somethin’, Miss Nicole. Old Uncle Ruckus be good at doing any kind of work for white folks. Your history teacher was sick today, and they ain't had no replacement, so they let me teach y'all a lesson today instead.”

“What are you gonna say black people should be slaves and women belong in the kitchen?” asked Nicole in a defiant tone.

Uncle Ruckus’s eyes narrowed. “Well I'll be. And here I thought white people had some sense. It's that feminism that's ruined society. A real lady wouldn't have as much lip as you, Nicole. No sirree. A real lady would know what it's like to get spanked by her daddy a few times. Spare the rod, spoil the child I say!”

“I'm out of here.” said Nicole as she started to get up.

“Oh hell no you ain't! Sit your a*s back down and you can leave at the bell!” protested Uncle Ruckus as he moved to face Nicole.

Nicole sighed. “Fine.” then sat back down at her desk. Uncle Ruckus walked back near the chalkboard and faced the class.

“Now as I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted by that white lady, we're gonna be learnin’ about white history today, which is true history in case you didn't know. We're gonna be talking about the Civil War and why the south was right in every way.”

“I'm pretty sure we're learning about the Civil Rights Movement right now in this course.” said Jecka who sat next to Nicole.

“That's your Goddamn problem right there. Black people were happier at the back of the bus. End of story. Anyway, the thing about the Civil War is that horrible tyrant, Abraham Lincoln,” he said with disdain in his voice, “was just a monkey in a suit and a communist who free all them baboons in the south from their zoo. How the hell we gon’ have cotton with no n�"�"s to pick cotton?” Everyone in the class is speechless at his racism and practically nonsensical claims. “This here's a song we used to sing in the glorious south. ‘Look away! Look away! Dixie Land!’” he sang that Confederate marching song.

The bell rang. “Class dismissed already?” said Uncle Ruckus.

“Finally.” said Nicole, relieved.

“Let's get out of here.” said Jecka. There's a slight commotion from talking and people get up from their seats and walk out.

“Oh hell naw, the bell don't dismiss you, I do! Hey, where you goin’? That damn feminism makin’ all you women-folk disobedient! That system was started by the Jews, and guess what? Jews and n�"�"s are one and the same in my book! That's why they don't accept our white Jesus!” The students just ignore Uncle Ruckus’s angry rant and just keep walking.

“Well then.” said Jack.

Jack Meets Paul

Jack changes into his wrestling singlet and goes sit down on the bleachers. This is the first day of wrestling practice. Brad and his friends were showing off by doing pushups on the middle of the floor while they wait for the coach to show up. In from the boys’ locker room walks someone who’s big like Jack. He has a clean shaven face, an almost oval shaped head, and short light brown hair. He’s also wearing a singlet and walks and sits down next to Jack. “Hey how ya doin’?” He said as he sat down.

“I’d say I’m having a nice day. How about you?” replied Jack.

“Yeah, I’m excited for wrestling practice… Do you ever have to deal with your singlet riding up on your crotch?” the guy asked bluntly. Jack wasn’t expecting that question. He paused for a second before replying, “Sometimes I do. What was your name again?”

“Paul.”

“Jack.” They shook hands.

“Good to meet you.”

“It’s nice to finally meet someone who isn’t one of Brad’s a*s kissers.” said Jack matter-of-factly.

“No kidding.” said Paul. The coach walked into the gym. Once he got into the middle of the floor, he blew the whistle, and everyone got to their feet and got in a line in the middle of the gym floor, at the halfcourt line. “Alright you maggots,” the coach said as he walked down the line in front of them. “I expect the absolute best from all of you. I don’t tolerate failure. I don’t tolerate crying like a sissy either. Life is unfair, and sports in this gym are unfair as well, in case you cockroaches didn’t already get the memo.” That would include Paul, since he doesn’t have any classes with Jack. “Now gimme thirty laps around the gym to warm up. Pronto!”

Everyone gets to the outline of the gym and starts running those thirty laps. However, Jack and Paul don’t exactly have the best stamina so they get winded a little bit after that first of energy when they were running. Eventually, Jack and Paul catch up with each other running while blown up. “Sweet merciful crap!” Paul said out of breath when he met up beside Jack.

“This is gonna be a long practice.” said Jack.

Once the running is over, they transition to doing something more manageable which is pushups. When they’re done with that, now finally they get to do something wrestling related. “Alright! Now everyone find a partner and do a hundred collar and elbow tieups with them.” They all do a hundred collar and elbow tieups with a partner like the coach says. Jack and Paul of course did it together. This may seem odd to outsiders unfamiliar with wrestling, but practicing collar and elbow tieups is actually really useful because it’s the starting position in a wrestling match, well, usually.

Once they’re done doing a hundred collar and elbow tieups, the coach blows the whistle. “Now, set the mats up. It’s time to do some sparring.” Everyone goes to the closet and gets the mats and sets them up for the sparring session. Everyone on the team then gets in position to spar.

it’s Jack and Paul again. Jack starts off strong but Paul is surprisingly good at wrestling. Jack pushes forward and Paul counters it into an arm drag, with Jack landing on his back and Paul turning it into an armbar. Meanwhile, Brad has his opponent in a headlock and turns to look at Jack and Paul. “Haha, did someone put you on your a*s dork!” Brad gives his opponent a noogie on the head.

Paul looks down at Jack. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, how did you get so good at wrestling?” asked Jack.

“Sometimes, when you’re fighting for the last Twinkie, you gotta learn how to wrestle pretty quickly.” Paul got off of Jack and they both got to their feet. “You’ve got it in you to crush Brad though. I can just tell.”

Jack brushed himself off. “Really?”

“Yes really, now let’s wrestle like you mean it.” said Paul. They continued sparring, with Jack determined to win from those words of encouragement. Jack was able to take down Paul a few times, and the match was more even now. They wrestled until the end of practice at 6:00 p.m. Everyone exhausted and lying on the mats catching their breath once it’s over.

The coach blew his whistle. “You’re dismissed. Good practice today, but don’t get too complacent. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”

Jack, still laying on the mat with Paul. “We need to win, but we’d better get home.”

“Yeah, we’ve been wrestling like gorillas for the past hour or so.” replied Paul. Everyone got up and went to the boys’ locker room and changed back into their street clothes.

On the way there, Brad brushed past Jack like Jack didn’t exist, and Jack stepped aside and stood there looking at Brad, mildly hurt emotionally that he got treated that way. “Hey what the heck, man?” said Jack. After that, Jack and Paul decided to continue on their way to the locker room and got changed back into their clothes and went home.

The Rebellion

During advisor group, the teacher and the student body president, Miranda, and the student body vice president, Leonardo, gave a presentation about the school newspaper the Lakeside Ledger. There was a whole stack of them on a table in front of the whiteboard. Jack grabbed a copy and sat down at his desk. The teacher left the room and left Miranda in charge. Jack read the school newspaper, not liking it but he didn't want to get mad either. Just from reading the headlines: “Miranda The Queen Bee of Benevolence”, “Leonardo A True Visionary For The Art of Theater”, and last but not least, “Brad A True Adonis of a Student and Athletic Champion.” I love writing, so why don't I ask Miranda to let me write something with substance in the school newspaper. Thought Jack.

Jack gets up from his seat and approaches Miranda, who is leaned up against the wall and texting on her phone. “Hi excuse me, Miranda, could I talk to you for a minute?”

Miranda looks up at Jack and puts her phone in her pocket and stands up straight. “What do you want? You better not be wasting my time.”

“Oh it's definitely worth your time Miranda. How about you let me, Jack, write for the Lakeside Ledger? I'm sure what I'd write will make someone's day nice.”

“You?” Miranda laughs condescendingly. “You think a loser like you deserves to write for the Ledger?”

Jack is taken aback a little bit from the rude response. “Hey that's not very nice, Miranda. I just asked a simple question.”

“I'm not here to be nice or make friends, you fatass idiot. I'm here to be the best.”

“Well, since you put it that way…” Muses Jack. Miranda looks uninterested. “I've had enough of your s**t, Miranda! And it's time someone stood up to this messed up system of yours. Like that old band sang for all those years, ‘We're not gonna take it ANYMORE!!!” Jack raises his fist in the air as he quotes the Twisted Sister song.

MIranda straightens up and pays attention to Jack.“What the hell are you doing? Go sit back down at your desk or I'll have your a*s expelled if you mess with me!”

Jack puts his arm down. “You're right. I won't mess with you…” Jack reaches in his pants and grabs a white and grey sock and puts it on his hand. “… But he will! Say hello to Mr. Socksworth!” Jack lunges at Miranda and holds onto her upper body with his right arm as he shoves the sock into her mouth and to the back of her throat with his left hand. Miranda's eyes widen, mortified as she gags and chokes on the sock and falls down to the floor due to Jack leaning on her with this unorthodox claw hold. The other students, including Emily, sit at their desks and watch, either too shocked to say or do anything or they actually don't care for Miranda.

After another moment of Miranda choking on Jack's sock, suddenly Leonardo barges in and opens the door. “Miranda!” Leonardo exclaims, then looks at Jack. “Hey you, stop this now, you fiend!” Jack lets go of the hold and stands up, Miranda choking and coughing on the floor. “To the stage in the gym, you and me now big boy.”

“Let's go.” complies Jack. Jack and Leonardo walk to the stage in the gym with a crowd of people following behind them to see the action. On the way over there Jack puts the sock back in his pants. Miranda is taken to the nurse's office for any injuries she might have and to regain her breathing. Once Jack and Leonardo get to the stage in the gym, they don't bother changing into costumes. They just go through the door and walk up the steps beside the stage. Someone turns the lights down low except for some light on the stage. Leonardo gets on one end of the stage and Jack gets on the other. “How dare you defile my beloved Miranda, you grotesque swine? The only way for us to settle this like men is on the stage for the masses to behold.”

“Miranda got what was coming to her. Ain't that right, Mr. Socksworth?” Jack says, then he uses Mr. Socksworth like a sock puppet and gives him a little voice. “That's right, Jack. Miranda is a stuck up b***h.” The crowd laughs at the sock puppet’s language. Jack puts the sock away and back into his pants like he's taking his gloves off for a fight. “You heard the sock. All the world's a stage, and the people are the actors, and I'm going to actually kick your a*s!” Leonardo growls in anger and he and Jack charge at each other and start throwing punches. Leonardo backs up and they fight down the stairs, and Jack throws Leonardo through the door and into the gymnasium. There's a space between the crowd and the stage, and the crowd makes sure to keep their distance. The crowd is entertained by the impromptu wrestling match. Jack keeps hammering away at Leonardo in the back until they get to that area in front of the stage. Jack grabs Leonardo and puts his his in a front facelock with Leonardo facing Jack with Leonardo’s head at Jack's side and Jack’s arm around Leonardo’s neck. The other arm is around Leonardo’s right arm. This sets up the DDT on the floor which stuns Leonardo by having his head and face driven into the hardwood floor with no padding. Jack gets up and the crowd cheers for him a little bit. He climbs up onto the stage, not using the stairs because he doesn't want to take his eyes off Leonardo. Jack then walks all the way to the back of the stage and runs to get some momentum for a flying elbow drop on Leonardo on the floor. The move knocks the wind out of Leonardo, and Jack could feel the impact too since he jumped down on the hardwood gym floor like a bag of meat but with his elbow driving into Leonardo’s chest. Jack slowly gets up to his feet and does a gun fingers gesture and says “bang bang!” The crowd chants Jack's name. Jack goes and finds a folded wooden table next to the bleachers. He grabs the table and sets it up on the gym floor. The crowd knows that something bad is going to happen with that table. Leonardo starts moving slowly again. Jack gets down and punches Leonardo in the face a few times for mounted punches. Jack then gets off Leonardo, lifts him to his feet and throws him onto the table. Jack gets on the table with him. The table is a little flimsy and it bends a little at the middle from them standing on it. Jack puts Leonardo’s head between his legs with Leonardo’s face looking down at the table. Jack then straightens up and grabs Leonardo by the tights, instead of wrapping his arms around his waist, and lifts Leonardo’s lower body since Leonardo is lighter than Jack. Then Jack piledrives Leonardo down headfirst through the table and to the gym floor, all in one motion. Jack's posterior got most of the brunt of the impact. Jack and Leonardo both lay on the floor amidst the broken table, with Jack still having his eyes open. Jack rolls over and covers Leonardo. Miles runs over and counts the pin with the crowd chanting along. “ONE! TWO! THREE!”

When Jack gets to his feet, Miles raises Jack's hand in victory, then Jack celebrates his victory for a moment. “It's about time someone put Leonardo and Miranda in their place.” said Miles. Jack doesn't get to do so for long because soon “Jack the Guy, please come to the front office right now.” is heard on the intercom. Jack walks from the gym to the front office. He knows whatever this is it's not good news. In the hallway Jack sees Nicole and Jecka talking by the lockers. Nicole notices Jack, says something to Jecka, and they both turn and face Jack when he approaches. “Well well well, if it isn't Mr. Rebel himself.” said Nicole

“He pulled a sock out of his pants and used it on Miranda.” commented Jecka.

“I guess words spreads fast.” said Jack.

“I like the idea of being gagged with a sock. It's so erotic. Too bad you're probably getting the boot though, bad boy.” said Nicole.

“Give it a rest, will you?” replied Jack. He started to continue walking, then he turned his head back towards Nicole and Jecka. “And one more thing, have a nice day.” Jack turned back around and made his way to the front office. The door of the office was open and Jack walked in. At the desk sat Principal Lynn and in a chair sat Miranda with a cast around her neck. “Shut that door behind you.” ordered Principal Lynn. Jack obliged and shut the door. “Have a seat.” The two chairs were far enough apart from each other so Jack and Miranda couldn't hit each other from the chairs. Jack sat down. “So, you thought it was a good idea to put your hands on Miranda the student body president? You hurt her neck pretty bad.”

“Oh my neck.” Miranda moaned as she held her casted neck in pain, a performance believable enough to win an Oscar.

“You're lucky Miranda is benevolent enough to not press charges.” stated Principal Lynn. “What do you have to say for yourself young man?”

“I was just asking Miranda if I could write for the Lakeside Ledger, then she started being to me and telling me she doesn't need to make friends.” said Jack. “So I say I was doing what everyone else at this school was thinking by giving her what was coming to her and shoving Mr. Socksworth down her throat.”

Miranda starts crying and sniffling as she kept holding her neck in pain. “Principal Lynn, you know I'm always nice to everyone.” cried Miranda.

“I can't believe a monster like you would even think of doing something like that. Shoving a dirty sock down the class president's throat? How could you?” asked Principal Lynn.

“Well it's not like people even had any other options. Democracy is cringe sometimes.” said Jack sarcastically.

Miranda sat up straight, signifying that Jack got a rise out of her. “I'll have you know, you insolent little prick, I'm the most popular student here at Lakeside High, and the numbers don't lie when they show the entire class voted for me unanimously. How dare you?!” Miranda protested.

“Hey it ain't about you votes, it's about who counts the votes, Miranda.” rebutted Jack.

“Enough!” interjected Principal Lynn. “Jack, as a feminist, I believe in believing all women and to not question the integrity of our school elections. This is digressing from why we brought you here in the first place. Since you can't keep your hands to yourself, I order you to get out of my sight and clean out your locker. Your expelled, young man.”

Jack’s heart dropped, but he didn't want to argue with Principal Lynn since he believed he was in the right. “Yes ma’am.” Jack got up from his chair and walked towards the door.

“Don't let the door hit you on the way out.” said Miranda passive-aggressively. Jack just rolled his eyes and opened the door and left, shutting the door behind him. Down the hall, Jack's friends were standing by the lockers waiting for him.

“What’s up, Jack?” greeted Nase.

“Hey Jack, how’d it go?” asked Miles.

“I got expelled.” said Jack sadly. He's hunched over a little bit, looking defeated.

“We'll figure out some way to get you back, right Nase?” asked Miles.

“Yeah, no one's ever stood up to authority like you have, Jack.” encouraged Nase.

“Thanks guys.” Jack fist bumps Nase and Miles. “I'm gonna go get my stuff then I'm leavin’. I'll talk to you all later. Have a nice day.” said Jack before he continued walking.

“See ya, Jack.” said Nase.

“Later, man.” said Miles. Jack made his way back to the classroom where this whole fiasco started. He picked up his pencils and papers that were on his desk and put them in his backpack. He zipped up his back and left the classroom and walked out to his locker. He tried not to get too much attention. He got his stuff from his locker and put it in his backpack, then he walked down the hall and out the front door of the school. After that he got in his car and drove home.

As Jack stood at his locker, putting his stuff into his backpack, he was approached by none other than Brad. Brad leaned against the lockers, then got in Jack’s face. “That’s right dork, worms like you don’t belong here at MY school.”

Jack zipped up his backpack then put a strap over his shoulder and looked at Brad as he shut his locker. “You’re beating a dead horse at this point, man.” Jack said to Brad with exhaustion in his voice. Jack turned around and started walking down the hall towards the exit.

Brad stood up and followed behind him. “It’s all about survival of the fittest, and if you don’t have the will to power like I do, then you might as well be a dead horse. The weak must die, and the strong must thrive!” Brad stopped following Jack, and walked away in the opposite direction once he finished his little monologue.

Jack continued down the hall. Nicole was leaning against a locker, texting somebody on her cell phone. When Jack got closer to Nicole, he stopped and waved at her. “Have a nice day.”

Nicole stopped texting and looked up at Jack. “Oh, are you talking to me? I don’t really give a s**t, but yeah have a nice day crying to your mom.” She gave a wink and a smile to Jack.

Jack turned and continued walking, and went through the exit door and walked to his car in the parking lot after his Walk of Shame in the hallway. Jack opened the driver’s side door of his car, threw his backpack in the backseat, then got in his car and drove home.

Hurt

Jack gets home, not bothering to greet his parents. He just goes up to his room, shuts the door behind him, and tosses his backpack on the floor. He gets his MP3 player, and plugs in his headphones, and puts his headphones on, then he puts on “Hurt” by Johnny Cash and lays on his back on his bed in complete darkness, thinking about his expulsion and about his brother Jamie, and what's his purpose moving forward. Meanwhile, across town, Nicole is sitting in her room with her headphones on and her MP3 player playing “Hurt” by Nine Inch Nails instead. This shows the contrast between Jack's heroic pain and Nicole's nihilistic pain.

“Everyone I know, goes away in the end.” reminds Jack of his brother Jamie. Tears form in Jack’s eyes. Once the song ends, Jack continues to lay there until he falls asleep.

The next day, when Jack gets up and rubs the sleep and dried tears from his eyes, he puts the MP3 player and headphones on his nightstand. Then he checks his cellphone in his backpack to see that Nase and Miles texted him to check on him. After texting back a brief greeting and telling them he's fine, he puts his phone back in the phone pocket on his backpack and zipped it back up. “Well, I guess I better get a job now.” he said to himself. Suddenly, a knock on the door, then the door opens a little bit. “Pumpkin,” the familiar voice of Mom. “Are you okay? The principal called me about your expulsion.”

“Yeah I just got into a fight with the powers that be is all.”

“Well, I know you're still coping with Jamie's passing. I am too. But you know you shouldn't put your hands on people. You could go to jail for that.” gently rebuked Mom.

“I know, and you're right. I'm sorry Mom. I'll apologize to you, but I won't apologize to them.” Jack was on his knees on the floor in front of his backpack and facing the door. He got up to his feet. “I'm gonna go job hunting today since finishing school is clearly out of the question.” Jack went over to his mom and kissed her on the cheek. “I made some breakfast, honey, so come down stairs when you're ready.” Then she left his room and closed the door. Jack got changed out of his outfit that he realized he was still wearing from yesterday, except Jack wears his red and black flannel shirt everyday anyway. He gets changed into a new outfit that looks similar to the one he had on. Jack went downstairs and ate breakfast with his mom, his dad already having gone to work early in the morning. Once Jack got done eating his pancakes and sausage, he got up and put his plate and silverware on the counter. He then got ready to go look for some work to do instead of wasting time.

Jack’s New Job

Jack gets in his car and takes a drive down by the school, not entirely able to let it go that he can't go back. Across the street from the school, there's a balding, middle aged, out of shape man with a mustache, appearing to be of Latino descent, running a hot dog stand. He's wearing an apron over his clothes. About twenty feet away from him is a portable toilet. Jack drives his car into the school parking lot just past the hotdog seller and parks it in an empty parking space. “This'll have to do if I can get this job.” Jack says to himself. He unbuckles his seatbelt and gets out of his car, shutting the car door behind him. He walks over to the hotdog stand. “Good morning sir.” Jack says to the hotdog seller.

“Hey, you want a hotdog?” asked the hotdog seller.

“Nah I actually want a job.” replied Jack.

“Oh, what's your name?” asked the hotdog seller.

“Jack. What's yours?”

“Jack. Got it. I'm Carlos.” he said. Jack and Carlos shook hands, then Carlos took out his card. “Here's my card if you need anything.” He took off his apron and gave it to Jack, who then put it on. “I'll give you ten dollars an hour for this. Call me if you need anything.” Once Jack got ready to run the hot dog stand, Carlos walked to the portable toilet that was about twenty feet away. Surprisingly Carlos didn't do any background checks on Jack and just gave him the job.”

It's not the most exciting job in the world. Jack just stood there and thought about life for a moment, then he decided to take his phone out of his pocket and check his text messages. He texted Miles and Nase and told them “Look outside”. Miles and Nase walk to the gymnasium doors that go outside and look out the glass by the gymnasium doors. Miles and Nase then open the doors and walk to Jack across the street. Nase wound up his right arm to the side for a bro handshake. “Hey what's good, Jack? What are you doing here?”

“Yeah, how did you get a job as a hotdog salesman?”

“Hey guys. It was easy actually. I just asked Carlos for a job and he gave it to me.” Jack gestured his thumb back towards the portable toilet. Carlos walked out of the portable toilet, his shirt up over his belly from being out of shape. He turned his head and looked at the three guys for a second before continuing on his way back home presumably.

“Anyway, you want a hotdog?” offered Jack.

“Yessir!” said Nase. Jack cooked hotdogs for himself, Nase, and Miles. Once they were ready, he put them on hotdog buns with some ketchup and mustard. He gave Nase and Miles their hotdogs and ate his own hotdog. Nase and Miles gave Jack some motivational words before they parted ways.

Rebellion, Hurt, & Jack’s New Job Journal Entry

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Game over. I'm not sure what else to write. Yesterday during advisor group I approached Miranda to ask her about writing for the school newspaper. Instead she was being rude and uptight, showing her true colors, so I gave her a little something to shut her up and her attitude. A little sock friend named Mr. Socksworth. Imagine I’m pulling him out of my pants right now. She called me names and said I’m not worthy to write for the Lakeside Ledger, so I shoved him down her throat. That is, until her boy toy Leonardo showed up. Now, I’m not really proud of what I’ve done, in retrospect. Even though I won the battle with Leonardo in the gym, I lost the war, because on the big speaker the principal called for me to come to the office. Miranda was crying and being dramatic and had the principal in her pocket. I didn’t want to seriously hurt Miranda, so I was a bit conflicted between feeling bad for her and wondering if she’s exaggerating her injury. Either way, it’s over bro. I’m sorry I let you down, Jamie. No more going for the wrestling champion and making you proud in Heaven.

Resurrection

On the third day after Jack's expulsion, at the Friday morning assembly, all of the students at Lakeside High gathered together on the gymnasium floor instead of sitting on the bleachers. All of them except for Brad and his friends and Miranda and Leonardo and their close friends. They usually entered the gymnasium last. Miranda and Leonardo entered the gym, flabbergasted that everyone is congregated in the gym floor. Nase grabs a microphone and the students spread out a little bit to give Nase some room. “Miranda, Leonardo, you look surprised as to why we're here but you should know exactly why we're here. The people have asked The Nase to be their spokesperson, seeing as The Nase is the people's champ. I just talked to Jack not too long ago, and he's outside selling hotdogs. Hell, probably eating hotdogs. Here's the deal, either you let Jack come back or we're all leaving Lakeside High.”

Leonardo and Miranda privately discuss things among themselves before Leonardo grabs a microphone and responds. “You want us to bring Jack here, or everyone walks? Fine, you got it. It was already in the works to bring him back anyway.”

“Alright, someone text Jack and open the door for him.” said Nase. A moment later, the gymnasium door to the outside opened and closed and Jack made his triumphant return entry into the gymnasium, raising his arm in the air as he walked to the middle of the floor to meet Nase. Jack got a standing ovation and applause from everyone except Brad, Miranda, and Leonardo’s clique. Internally they felt irritated they couldn't get rid of Jack once and for all. Jack shook hands with Nase and Miles, then waved to everybody, smiling and happy that he's back in Lakeside High School.

Jack grabbed a microphone. “Thank you, all of you, really. Thank you Nase. Thank you Miles. Jack the Guy, is back!”

Miranda grabbed the microphone from Leonardo. “Great you're back.” she said in her sarcastic, uncaring tone. “Now can we all get back to business?”

“Woah woah woah, Miranda. We can't let an opportunity like this go to waste, can we?” said Jack. “First of all, this whole situation started because of the school newspaper, the Lakeside Ledger. So how about you let me write in it?”

Miranda's eyebrows raised briefly in surprise, then her and Leonardo again talked things over. “You want to write in the newspaper? Fine, you got it. You can write in the damn newspaper.”

“Next order of business, we ain't done yet.” said Jack. “As you all know, I'm not apart of the main clique at this school, and it seems you can only join the wrestling team if you're apart of it. My next demand is to let anyone join the wrestling team if they want to, including me.”

“You want to be on the wrestling team?” asked Leonardo. “There's nothing stopping you.”

Miles whispered something in Jack's ear. “This next demand was requested by one of the dozens and dozens of Jack the Guy fans here. They want you to… let them have sixty foot anime catgirl giantess club during study hall?” Jack looked confused for a second. “Well who am I to judge?” Jack smiled.

“Uhh… okay, you got it.” Leonardo said.

“Yes!” Miles celebrated to himself.

“What the actual…” said Miranda, flabbergasted.

Jack took a bow for Miranda & Leonardo. “Thank you very much.”

The Date

Jack finally got the courage to approach Emily. The trick was to just do it and not think about it too much. It was during lunch. Jack walked up to Emily who was sitting at a table in the hallway by herself, looking at her phone. “Hey Emily,” said Jack, trying not to sound nervous.

Emily looked up at Jack. “Hi Jack.” she said, her pretty blue eyes locking on with Jack's.

“I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me after school, you know? Get something to eat?” proposed Jack.

“Sure, that sounds lovely.” accepted Emily.

“Really?” Jack couldn't help but grin a little that she actually accepted.

“Yes really.” assured Emily.

“Great, I'll see you then.”

After school, they meet together in the parking lot.

“Hey Emily.” said Jack.

“Hi.” Emily said in almost a singing voice and waved to Jack.

“Let's take my car. Is that okay with you?” asked Jack. They walked together to Jack's car.

“Yeah that works.” she said as they walked together. Jack went over to the passenger's side door. “Ah, a gentleman.” Emily smiled, then got into her seat in the car. “Thank you sir.”

“You're welcome.” Jack chuckled a little as he shut the passenger side door. Jack went around to his side and got into the driver's seat, shutting the door and buckling up. Emily seeeing this, grabbed her seatbelt and buckled up herself. Jack picked up the key and put it in the keyhole of the ignition and started his car. He put his car into gear and drove his car out of the parking lot and down the hill towards the village. “Alright, let's go.” said Jack.

“So, where are we going to exactly?” asked Emily.

“There's a local fast food place I like to go to sometimes. They make some good food so I think you'll like it. Jack pulled into the parking lot of the village plaza, with a laundromat to the side and the fast food takeout to the side next to the library which was a brick and mortar building. “Here we are.” Jack said when he parked. “The food's on me.”

“Oh how sweet.” replied Emily, flattered that Jack is being so chivalrous. He turned and looked at Emily who in turn looked back at him. A few seconds later, Jack and Emily exit the vehicle.

“Anyway, they make the best burgers and fries in town.” said Jack when they walked together to the booth.

After they order their food and Jack pays for it, they go back to Jack's car and sit in their seats. They gave the burgers and fries in like those red and white striped paper plate things but with walls so they don't fall out. There was little ketchup and mustard packets as condiments given to them in the plates as well. They both got a couple of Dr. Pepper’s in a plastic cup with a plastic cover and a straw, with some ice cubes in there as well. They of course got some napkins too. Then Jack backed out of the driveway and turned left then forward beside the plaza. The area was a fourway intersection. This way led to a back road in the countryside. “I'm gonna find a quiet spot for us to eat in privacy.” Jack told Emily.

“Oh okay.” replied Emily. Jack drove down the back road that has two yellow lines painted down the center of it. He plugged in his MP3 player into the radio auxiliary and played “Rusty Cage” by Johnny Cash. The song ended just when Jack found a plateau clearing in the woods off the side of the road for them to park. “This looks like a good spot.” he said. He parked the car in the grass and turned the key back to shut the engine off. They both then unbuckled since the vehicle is stationary. By this point the sun was setting and it was getting close to dark, so Jack turned on the light inside the car while they ate. “Bon appétit.” said Jack to Emily. She chuckled at Jack’s attempt at using the classic French saying, then Jack couldn't help but chuckle too. They start eating their food, and Jack eagerly starts eating French fries, then unwraps the burger but still has the back of it covered with the paper wrap before taking a bite so he doesn't get his hands dirty.

“Thank you for this, really.” said Emily.

Jack swallowed some of the food he was chewing. “You're welcome.” he said with a mouth full of food. Jack at the rest of his burger and fries for the next few minutes, then looked at Emily and her food. “Are you going to finish that?” she handed over her plate of French fries. Jack eats the French fries and they occasionally take sips from their sodas that are placed in the cupholder between them. Once Emily finishes her burger and her and Jack are both done eating, they both sit and look at the stars and the town ahead of them below the cliff. Jack and Emily turn their heads and look at each other again and Jack puts his hand on Emily's.

After several minutes of them sitting and looking at the stars and holding hands, Emily breaks the silence and says “I'd better be getting home, lover boy.”

“Right, I wasn't even keeping track of time.” said Jack as he straightened up and put his seatbelt back on. He takes the paper plates and the trash and puts them in the backseat to throw away later. Jack turns the light in the inside of the car off, then he turns the key and slowly and carefully backs into the road and drives to Emily's house.

“Where do you live anyway, Emily?” asked Jack as he drove. Emily gave him directions to her house. Once Jack got to her house, he stopped in the parking space out front. Emily unbuckled, and Jack and Emily slowly turned to face each other.

“I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school.” Jack thought for a second before unbuckling and asking, “Can I have a kiss please?”

Emily giggled. “Sure thing, Jack.” They both leaned in for a kiss on the lips and closed their eyes which was a romantical moment. A few seconds later, Emily opened her door to get out of the car.

“Have a nice night.” Jack waved while leaning his neck down and looking at Emily.

“Later handsome.” Emily waved back and shut the door. After that, Jack watched to see if she made it inside okay, then drove back to his home. It was dark out but it surprisingly wasn't that late since it was autumn. Jack couldn't believe he kissed Emily. This would make for a good journal entry. He thought. Jack went back home feeling high from his first kiss. The kind of high that made him want to be a better man and not the kind that makes one feel comfortably numb.

The Date Journal Entry

[Date]

Words can’t express how happy I am right now. I went on a date with Emily in my beat up Chevrolet and we ate food together while looking at the night sky. I want to jerk off but I also don’t at the same time.

xoxo Wow have mercy!

Brad’s Speech

Everyone at Lakeside Private High School assembles in the gymnasium for a community meeting. “What you're looking at is a perfect example of evolution, Jack. We've got it all. The money, the girls, the trophies. We've conquered every sport. I've conquered every damn sport. Football, wrestling, baseball, basketball. Hell, even dodgeball.” Brad and his clique chuckle. “Jack, Nase, Miles, Paul, all of you, you're just jealous that you don't have what we have. It's like what they taught us about Darwin in biology class. Only those who adapt to change survive, and it's survival of the fittest. The strong survive, and the weak get crushed under foot like a damn cockroach.” Brad illustrates by pretending to crush a bug with his foot.

Dungeons & Dragons

Once the final bell for the schoolday rings, Jack goes outside and starts walking towards the parking lot to his car, but his phone makes that beeping noise and vibration sound for a notification. He takes his phone out of his pocket to see it was Miles who sent him a text message.

“So Jack, do you wanna play some DnD at my place?” Miles’ text message said. Jack thought about it for a moment. It had been a while since he’d played Dungeons & Dragons, and it was fun to play when he was younger. But with Miles? Eh, screw it. Jack thought.

“Sure, sounds like fun.” Jack texted back.

“Nase and Paul are coming over too.” Miles sent that message. “This is gonna be good. Mwahahaha!” He said as a followup message to the last one. Miles signed off.

“Oh boy, what could possibly happen?” Jack said out loud. He couldn’t help but smirk a little at the possibilities. He put his phone back in his pocket and continued walking to his car in the parking lot. He got in his car and drove to Miles’ house. Here in [Lakeside], luckily most of the students at Lakeside Private High live in the same town.

Once Jack arrives at Miles’ house and enters his living room, Nase and Paul were already in Miles’ house, with Nase leaning against the wall with his fanny pack covering his junk on his outfit, and Paul sitting on the floor across from Miles, thinking about how he should create his character perhaps. When Jack entered the room, he greeted them and waved. “Hey everyone, how are you all doing?” Jack stood in the middle of the room and looked around at three of them. Ozzy Osbourne music is playing in the background.

Miles looked up from what he was preparing for D&D and looked at Jack. Nase gave a quick wave and raised an eyebrow. Paul got to his feet and approached Jack. “Hey Jack, glad you could make it. That spot’s warm for you if you want it.” Paul said jokingly and pointed to the spot where he was sitting. Miles looked back down at his stuff: die, Dungeons & Dragons rulebooks, some scrap paper, pencils, an eraser, and of course an assortment of Miles’ drawings, mostly of anime characters but also some of D&D characters.

“Woah, are you sure you want to sit in the same spot as his candy a*s?” Nase asked and chuckled as he stood up from leaning against the wall. He approached Jack and Paul.

“It does sound pretty tempting.” Jack said. Jack, Nase, and Paul all chuckled as Nase patted Jack and Paul on the back.

“So is the roleplay ready, Miles?” Jack looked over and asked Miles. Nase and Paul turned their heads and looked at Miles too.

“Y-yes, it’s ready.” Miles said, mildly anxious. His papers were a bit of a mess on the floor. “Have a seat gentlemen.” Miles pushed his glasses back over the bridge of his nose. Nase went over to the couch and grabbed a pillow. “Nah, The Nase isn’t gonna sit his candy a*s on that cold, hard floor.” Nase looked at Jack. “You want one too?”

“Sure.” Jack held his hands apart like he was ready to catch something, and Nase tossed him a pillow.

“Here.” said Nase as he threw the pillow.

Jack caught it. “Thank you very much.”

Paul went over to Miles’ mess of papers and sat down on the floor first, but Nase’s comment made him realize something. “Hsss.” Paul said as he lifted his butt up to one side on the floor and held it in discomfort. “You know what, Nase? You might actually be right about needing a pillow for this floor. Even my big butt feels it after a few minutes.”

Nase chuckled as he sat down on his pillow at their little circle around the D&D stuff. Jack walked over to Paul and offered him his pillow. “Here, you can have mine.”

Paul looked at Jack and took the pillow. “Oh, thanks Jack.” Paul put the pillow under his posterior and adjusted his sitting, and Jack went over and joined the three of them at the circle on the floor. Miles seemed unbothered by sitting on the floor, and Jack didn’t mind either way.

Miles grabbed a piece of paper that had writing and drawings on it and looked at it. “Alright here it is. I have to warn you, I’m at the highest level in Dungeons & Dragons, among other games, but since I’m feeling generous I’ll be the DM instead of a player here.”

“Is that a DM like what I get from someone’s mom on my phone?” asked Nase jokingly.

“Uhh, n-no it’s not.” said Miles.

“Oh.” said Nase.

“Aw man.” said Paul in joke disappointment.

After a moment of awkward silence and everyone looking at each other, Miles continued. “DM stand for Dungeon Master. Anyway, you all need to create a character and a horse for your character if you don’t have one already.”

Miles passed each of them an outline and a pencil to Nase, Paul, and Jack, and they spent a few minutes thinking of who their character is and who they should be. Since Jack is just a guy, he decided to write down his character’s name as Guy and his class as barbarian. “I’m done. I’ll go first.” Jack said. He brushed off the eraser shavings from his paper and blew on before he read it. “My character’s name is Guy since I’m Jack the Guy. His species is human and his class is barbarian. As for my trusty steed, well,” Jack paused for a second and tried not to laugh. “I’m a big fan of Shrek, so I decided it should be a donkey named My A*s.” Jack and Nase both chuckled, and Paul and Miles smirked at that.

Nase picked up his paper for his D&D character outline and read it. You could hear the noise of the paper crinkling as he picked it up. “My character is a black Scottish knight named Archibald, and his steed’s name is Cockroach, because it sounds like a more sophisticated version of Geralt from The Witcher’s horse Roach. You know? It’s like in the same vein as cockatrice or cockypop.” The guys all chuckled a little bit.

Paul picked up his paper and explained his character and horse too. “Alright my character, is also a knight named Alred, and my horse… I decided to call it The Batmobile.” Jack, Miles, and Miles all burst out laughing, and Paul joined in on the laughter. Once they calmed down from their laughter, they put their papers back down on the floor.

Miles adjusted his glasses and got ready for the quest. “Okay, let’s get this party started. For today’s quest, the three of you wake up in a dungeon and look way up to see a sixty foot anime catgirl giantess with her back to you. Wait a minute that’s my fanfiction.” Miles put the paper describing that quest down, and shuffled through the pile for a moment before he found the paper for the right quest. “Alright here it is. Sorry about that. Your posse: Guy, Archibald, and Alfred start off in a village. There is a monster contract posted near the sheriff’s office. Jack, since Guy is the posse leader, the village elder Dirk would like to speak to you as your mentor. What’s your move?”

Jack, Nase, and Paul thought about it for a second, before Jack answered first. “I’ll go speak to the village elder.

“And me and Paul, or Alfred, will go check out that monster contract since we’re both knights.” said Nase.

“You decide to split up, with Archibald and Alfred walking across the village to the sheriff’s office to do some reconnaissance about that monster contract.” narrated Miles. “Meanwhile, Jack goes to Dirk the sage’s house. What’s your move, Guy?”

“I go knock on the door.” said Jack.

“You walk up the steps to Dirk’s cottage, and knock on the door. A few seconds later, an old man with an unkempt beard opens up the door and peers at Guy with his eyes narrowed. ‘Eh? Who on earth are you?’” Miles did an impression of Dirk in that last sentence.

“Meanwhile at the sheriff’s office, would you like to talk to the sheriff about the monster contract, Alfred and Archibald?”

“Yeah we would.” said Paul. “My friend Archibald and I are both knights who know Kung Fu Fighting, how to sing it anyway, so can you tell us about the monster contract?”

“The sheriff comes walking like a cowboy while holding his belt buckle with his hands.” Miles explained. He then did an impression of the town sheriff with an exaggerated southern accent. “Well you see there’s a dragon in that there cave. Yep. Been a legend here in the village for many years. There’s a dadgum hoard of goblins on their way to the red dragon today to perform a cultist ritual. If y’all can kill that thing and the goblins I reckon I can give you at least what’s on that there contract.”

“We’ll take it.” said Paul.

“Meanwhile, at the old sage’s house,” continued Miles. “Where was I?” Miles adjusted his glasses on his face. “Oh yeah,” Miles continued doing the impression of Dirk the sage. “So you must be Guy? The Guy for the job. The chosen one foretold of old.”

“That’s right sir, uh, I think.” replied Jack.

“Dirk the sage opened the door wider and stepped aside next to the door to let Guy in. ‘Come on in then, young one, and have a chat with Dirk. You have much to learn.’”

“I do as the old man says and enter Dirk’s home.” said Jack.

“Dirk shuts the door behind you. He walks to the center of the room so you two can face each other. ‘The ancient writings propesy of a guy who will work together with his friends to slay the mighty red dragon and save the town. Where are your friends, by the way?’”

“That’s a good question.” said Jack. Everyone in the room chuckles a little bit at that. “I didn’t think I’d need to explain this to the DM’s character, but my two friends Archibald and Alfred are over at the sheriff’s discussing the monster contract.”

“‘Ah, in that case…’ The old man Dirk walks over to a chest by his bed and kneels down and opens it and takes out a sword. He turns around and shows it to Guy. ‘This is the part where I give you a sword, forged in your future and other men’s tears and hopes and dreams,’ Dirk hands the sword to Jack. ‘But in the past one hundred fifty years I’ve realized that a dragon is an aerial monster with a ton of HP, and a sword is the most effective on the ground, so you might as well shove that sword up your a*s, boy.” Everyone stopped to chuckle at that for a moment.

“Oh uh, thank you very much. I inspect the sword and look at it.” said Jack.

Miles takes out a d20 dice and hands it to Jack. “You might need an intelligence roll to inspect a sword.”

Jack takes the d20 dice, shakes it in his hand, and rolls it onto the pile of papers. It lands on a 14. “Fourteen.” Says Jack.

“That’s more than ten, so I’ll give you an accurate description of the sword.” said Miles.

“Oh thank God. I was thinking this was like Blackjack where the goal is to get as close to twenty-one as possible without going over, usually fifteen and above.” said Jack.

“Ha, yeah. Your sword is forged with the finest steel. It’s a straight monster slaying sword that can give you about two hundred HP damage depending on the role. It’s not curved like a katana because this sword is more suited for a barbarian like yourself, not a ninja samurai. Personally I would’ve went for the katana because of how much I love Japanese culture, but I wanted this to be something that suits Guy’s character.” Miles explained.

“Ah, well now that I have the sword, let’s get on with the quest.” said Jack.

“Guy says his goodbyes to Dirk and leaves Dirk’s cottage, then Guy ponies up and gets on his donkey My A*s and gets ready to go to the dragon. Alfred, Archibald, what’s your moves?” asked Miles.

“I get The Batmobile ready and mount up to go fight some goblins.” said Paul.

“Yeah, I mount Cockroach too and prepare for battle.” said Nase.

“Archibald and Alfred mount their horses and ride over to the hoard of goblins walking down the path on the other side of the cave. Since Guy’s mount My A*s is as slow as its name suggests, it’s best for him to just head straight for the dragon on the main trail and leave the goblin fighting to Archibald and Alfred. A few moments later, Guy approaches the entrance of the cave. What do you do, Guy?” said Miles.

“I have a feeling I should look around, and I don’t think I should take My A*s with me into the cave, so I dismount and take a look around.” said Jack. Miles hands him the d20 dice again. Jack rolls it and gets a 20. “Oh wow a twenty?”

“Because you got a perfect twenty dice roll, you can hear and see rustling in the bushes. Out of the bushes comes a mage with a magic wand. ‘I am Marco, but you can call me-Mr. Magic Missile!’ Marco launches a magic missile repeatedly. ‘Magic missile!’”

“Dodge!” yelled Jack.

“Quick roll, Guy!” exclaimed Miles. Jack picked up the d20 dice and rolled a 12.

“You successfully dodged the first attack, but Marco fires again! ‘Magic missile!’”

Jack rolls the d20 dice again and gets a 4.

“Magic missile connects! Guy takes damage. But Marco is not done. ‘Magic Missile!’”

Jack made grunting sounds in roleplay agony as he picked up the d20 dice again and rolled a 5. “No!” Jack groaned in an exaggerated voice.

“‘Magic missile!’”

Jack rolls the d20 dice again and gets a 2. “Auuugh!” groaned Jack as he knew what his fate was now.

“Guy is knocked unconscious by Marco’s magic missile, and Guy needs to be revived but Archibald and Alfred are too far away. However, before Marco can celebrate for too long, and elf barbarian comes out from behind a tree, runs up to Marco, and roundhouse kicks him in the stomach. Marco grunts ‘Ugh!’ Then the elf barbarian hits him with a spinning heel kick to the side of the head and knocks Marco out unconscious. Marco is lying on the ground. The elf then goes up to Guy and revives him. She looks him in the eye and takes his hand in hers and says,” Miles clears his throat to an impression of the elf barbarian. “‘Hello, I am Aemilia, a barbarian of the elven realm.’ Aemilia helps Jack get to his feet. ‘It is fate that brought us here together to destroy the dragon.’ Now that you’re on your feet and face to face with Aemilia, what do you do?”

“I look at Aemilia’s face, and her hair, and the rest of her. Can the DM describe what I see or do I need to roll for that?” asked Jack.

“No, you don’t need to roll for this. Aemilia is pretty, although perhaps not as pretty as-well, that’s beside the point.” Miles grabs a paper and pencil and starts drawing Aemilia. “Aemilia looks at you with her hazel eyes, and she smiles at Guy warmly. She has long dirty blonde hair that’s half up and half down. She has one of those old medieval doublet garments that’s green, is buttoned up all the way to the top, and goes down to her thighs. Aemilia has a sword sheathed to her back and a crossbow sheathed to her side.” Once Miles is finished with the drawing, he turns the paper around and shows it to Jack.

After Jack looks at it for a few seconds, he looks up at Miles. “Haha yeah, thanks for reviving me, Aemilia. Thank you very much. I owe you big time for that.” Jack scratches the back of his, feeling a little nervous even at a DnD NPC. “I see you got a crossbow there. I show Aemilia my sword. That raggedy old man in the village, Dirk, gave me this and told me to shove it where the sun don’t shine. Can you believe it?”

Miles does his Aemilia impression again. “‘Haha yeah, Dirk can be an imbecile at times, but he did help my people in the elven v dragon war many moons ago, but not with a lack of crude comments along the way. But worry not, Guy, I have given you a crossbow and some arrows in your inventory. Us elves always come prepared. I’ve been preparing for this very moment for years.’ As Aemilia says, you now have a crossbow with unlimited arrows.”

“Nice!” Jack said as he got a new crossbow in his inventory. “I take Aemilia’s hand in mine and lift it up to my lips and kiss it. Let’s go take that big red S.O.B. down!”

“Aemilia giggles at your gesture, and you two go into the cave to fight the adult red dragon. Meanwhile, Archibald and Alfred are still fighting the hoard of goblins and getting a s**t ton of XP and goblin loot. As Guy and Aemilia enter the cave and walk inside, the adult red dragon is flying around ready for battle. When the dragon notices you two, he flies down and breathes fire in your direction. ‘Take cover!’ yells Aemilia as she dives and rolls out of the way behind a rock. What’s your move, Guy?”

“I do as she says and gets the heck out of harms way.” says Jack.

“You’ll have to roll an agility roll for that.” said Miles. Jack grabs the d20 dice and rolls a 20. “You successfully dodge out of the way of the dragon’s fire breath and take cover behind a rock across from Aemilia. You two look at each other for a moment while the dragon flies around in a big circle around the cave. When Aemilia sees the opportunity when the dragon’s back is turned, she gets out of cover and fires at the dragon with her crossbow. She fires an arrow.” Miles takes a 1d8 dice and rolls a 7. “Aemilia is an excellent shot and hits the dragon, dealing ten damage.”

“Dang, I might as well have Aemilia do the fighting for me.” Jack chuckled. “I get out of cover and take out my crossbow and assist her in fighting the dragon. I take aim and fire at the dragon.” Jack takes the 1d8 dice and rolls a 1.

“You miss the dragon.” said Miles.

“Aw man.” Jack said in playful disappointment and smacked his lap with his hand.

“Aemilia fires another shot at the dragon.” says Miles and rolls the 1d8 dice. He gets a 6. “She hits the dragon again and deals nine damage. To make matters interesting, Archibald and Alfred destroy the remaining goblins in the goblin cult, and make their way into the cave on the other side and join the fight.”

“About time.” said Nase.

“Let’s go!” exclaimed Paul.

“Let’s lay some more smackdown on the dragon.” said Nase. “I run up to the dragon and jump and slice it with my sword.” Nase takes the 1d8 dice and rolls a 7. “Booyah!”

“Archibald valiantly jumps up and strikes the dragon with his sword, dealing ten damage.” narrated Miles. “What about you Alfred?”

“I mean this is a dragon we’re talking about here. Can I call Batman for the rescue?” Paul said nervously.

“Okay, so Alfred stands and tries to send the Bat Signal I think. What about you, Guy?”

“My next move is-” Jack’s phone suddenly starts ringing in his pocket, so he gets up and pulls it out of his pocket to answer it. He sees that it’s Emily with her picture and number on the screen. “Excuse me.” He says to the boys and walks across the room, presses the answer button on his phone, and puts it against his ear. “Hey Emily… Yeah I’m doing good. I was just playing some DnD with the boys how about you?… Oh wow… Yeah I’ll come see you in a bit…” Jack continued his conversation on the phone with Emily.

Miles continues narrating the DnD session. “With Alfred a bit hesitant to fight the dragon, and Guy AFK, that leaves me with one option. Suddenly, the cave breaks open at the ceiling with boulders flying everywhere as a sixty foot tall anime catgirl slams her big butt down breaking through the cave and landing on the dragon and crushing it. The dragon dies from her titanium butt cheeks. The End.”

Jack finishes his call with Emily and puts his flipphone away and puts it back in his pocket. Jack walks to the door and turns the doorknob and turns and waves to Miles, Nase, and Paul before leaving. “Have a nice day!” said Jack. Then he exited Miles’ house and shut the door behind him.

Jack and Miles hang out together at Miles’ house.

“So, Jack, do you want to play Dungeons and Dragons?” asked Miles.

“Sure, sounds like fun.” said Jack.

“I have to warn you I'm at the highest level, but to spare you I'll be the Dungeon Master.” said Miles. They sit down with the Dungeons and Dragons rule book, some dice, a couple pens and pencils, an eraser, and some paper.

Second Date

After stepping down the steps on the porch of Miles’ house, Jack goes to his car and got in. When he sat in the car he took his phone out to look at the time. He lost track of time while they were playing Dungeons & Dragons, but there was still enough time to see Emily. Jack turned the key and drove out of Miles’ driveway and drove to Emily’s house.

As he drove to Emily’s house he thought about how Aemilia in the Dungeons & Dragons roleplay reminded him of Emily. Maybe that was intentional on Miles’ part considering he was the Dungeon Master, or maybe the stars aligned just right for this scenario. Either way, it was a fun D&D session albeit a ridiculous one at times.

Jack also thought about how he should top the second date and make it even more enjoyable than the first. Jack could feel a burning desire in his manhood that made him want to please Emily, even if he was, well, just a guy.

Jack just remembered something. He’s gotta get Emily a gift first. We can’t try to top the first date and not get the girl a gift. So Jack went to the grocery store and got a bouquet of flowers, some roses. Probably not for a bed of roses to lay on like The Statler Brothers.

After that’s taken care of, and Jack is a few dollars poorer, he puts the bouquet of roses in the passenger side seat, and drove to Emily’s house. Jack pulled into Emily’s driveway and grabbed the bouquet of flowers, and prayed that he didn’t mess up the second date before he got out of the car. He shut the car door after he got out, and walked to Emily’s front door. Jack reached out and rang the door bell, and he brushed himself off as he waited for Emily to answer the door.

Surprisingly, it was Emily’s mom who answered the door after she looked through the peephole. She opened up the door a bit. “Hello?”

“Hello ma’am, I’m Emily’s boyfriend Jack. I’m here to take her out for a date.” explained Jack.

“Oh really?” Emily’s mom’s voice got a bit more higher pitched and excited. “I always love to see the boys my Emily brings over! Give me just a sec.” Emily’s mom shut the door and hollered for Emily, which Jack could hear outside. “Emily! It’s another one of your idiot boyfriends!” Emily’s mom’s tone had shifted to her normal tone and more deeper than it was with the fake voice.”

A few seconds later, Emily went down the stairs and walked to the door to see Jack. She opened up the door, genuinely excited to see Jack. “Oh hey!” Emily shut the door behind her as she exited the house. “Uh, sorry about her.” Emily looked to the side and scratched her arm nervously. “Parents, you know?”

“Ah don’t worry about it.” Jack gestured. He then showed her the bouquet of flowers. “I got you some flowers.”

Emily took the flowers and gasped. “For me?” she looked at the flowers, then held them up to her nose and smelled them. “Hopefully my dad doesn’t ruin these. It’s a long story.” She looked back up at Jack. “So, you got anything planned for today?”

“I do actually. I was thinking… Have you ever been in a drive-in theater?” said Jack.

Emily smirked. “Drive-in theater? Going retro are we?”

“Is that a problem?” asked Jack.

Emily smirk faded. “No, I’m always down to try something once.”

Jack turned around and walked to his car and opened the door for Emily. “Well let’s go then, my lady.” Jack smiles and Emily smiles back and walks to the car, gives Jack a side eye, and enters the vehicle. Once Emily seated in the car, Jack shuts the passenger door and walks around the driver’s side as Emily turns around and puts the flowers in the backseat. Jack got in the car and they drove to the drive-in movie theater. Once the approach the big sign for the drive-in movie theater, Jack says “Well, here we are.”

“I didn’t think they still had these.” said Emily.

“I didn’t either �" I mean this definitely wasn’t some cosmic coincy-dink or anything.” said Jack.

Emily chuckled. “If you say so.”

They drive to the actual theater area to see today’s featured movie and order their food once they get parked. Jack didn’t pay much attention to the roller blade girls at the drive-in theater, his only focus was on Emily, and the movie if it was interesting. Well, and the food too. Can’t forget about the food, the drive-in theater cheeseburger and French fries. The movie was actually more about Jack and Emily’s quality time than the actual movie. However, several minutes into the movie, when the atmosphere was just right for some intimacy, Jack and Emily turned towards each other, looked each other in the eyes and slowly moved in for a kiss. This was when it was at the right time in the movie when things got melodramatic enough for them to feel romantical. They lean in and French kiss and Jack wraps his arms around Emily whie she puts her hands around his neck.

They wanted each other so bad, but Jack knew he shouldn’t do anything irresponsible. So they break the kiss with Emily leaning back horizontally in her seat and Jack leaning over her. They looked each other in the eyes for a moment before Jack said something. “As much as I like breaking hearts and taking names,” he smirked then started moving back into his own seat, “we should stop before we do something we both regret later.” Jack sat back down into his seat and looked back at the movie and leaned back.

Emily chuckled as she got up, “I was beginning to think you’re the insatiable type.” She sat in her seat and looked at Jack with half-lidded eyes.

Jack couldn’t help but chuckle and look back at Emily. “Yeah right.”

Once the movie was over, Jack drove Emily home. The tension was almost unbearable. Was Jack going to do the deed with Emily? Nah, it’s best to wait until marriage.

Jack and Emily arrive in front of Emily’s house and Jack parks his car. Jack and Emily hold hands for a moment, then Jack says “Well, here we are.”

“Back in this hell hole.” says Emily.

“Call me if you need anything.” says Jack. Emily is about to get out of his car then Jack reaches into the backseat and grabs Emily’s flowers. “Hey don’t forget this.”

“Thanks.” Emily takes the flowers and gets out of the car, then blows Jack a kiss and gives him a wink. “Talk to you later, Jack.” She shuts the passenger side door.

“Later girl.” Jack said and waved from the steering wheel. The windows were still down from when they were at the movie theater, so she can hear him. Jack watched Emily as she walked back to her house and went inside, and of course Jack observed the way her derriere moved in her jeans. Once she was inside her house and everything seemed clear, Jack started his car up, put it in gear, and drove back to his house.

High School Dance

The high school dance was coming up. Jack had never been to a dance before. He’d never been invited. Emily was in the popular group, and of course they were all gossiping about how no one wants to take Jack to the dance. Emily wasn’t saying anything, and quite frankly she didn’t look too interested in the conversation. Were we back to square one from the beginning of the story?

Jack and Emily made eye contact, and they gazed at each other for more than a few seconds, until Jack heard a girl say “Hey why are you looking at that freak?” Then he turned and kept walking down the hall. It wasn’t Emily who said that, or who was impressed by that question, as she got away from the friend group and approached Jack as he was walking away almost at a stroll.

“Hey Jack!” called out Emily as she approached him from behind.

Jack turned around and looked at Emily. “Yeah?”

“The high school dance this afternoon.” said Emily, expecting Jack to ask her the question.

“What about it? �" Oh. Do you want to be my date for the dance?” asked Jack.

“I would.” Emily leaned in and stood on her tippy toes and gave Jack a kiss on the cheek. “See you there, Jack.”

Jack blushed. “Yeah.” Emily smiled and waved and turned to walk back to her friend group. “Have a nice day!” Jack waved at Emily.

Jack turned back around and continued walking in the opposite direction. Now the issue was should Jack wear his flannel and jeans like he normally does, or should he wear something nice, something hip and cool? But what would that be exactly? What would impress the ladies, although mostly Emily? Instead of Jack the Guy he would be Jack the Ladies’ Man tonight.

Once school was over, Jack headed home and continued to contemplate what he would wear. “This can’t be rocket science can it?” He thought. He looked at the clock. It was already 5:30. There was no wrestling practice today, and all sports have practice off today for the dance. It wouldn’t be good to show up to the dance all sweaty and stinking of body odor.

Jack looked in his dresser drawer and pulled out a pair of sunglasses. “Yeah, this is a good start.” he thought. Next he looked in the shirt drawer and pulled out a green tie-dye shirt. Once Jack got his outfit ready and put on, he realized he was late to the dance. “That’s okay,” he thought. “I’ll be fashionably late, like the Grinch. It matches the green tie-dye, but I better not tell anybody about that part.”

Jack makes sure he has everything he needs before he goes back to the school for the dance. He grabs his phone and texts Nase that he needs a DJ to play the right song for him and Emily. Once he’s done with that, he puts his phone in his pocket and goes to his car and drives to the school. The suspense is killing folks that Jack might not arrive at all, but he does, and when he does, he lets Nase know through text. Nase then politely takes over the sound system to be the DJ for Jack and Emily.

Jack goes through the double doors. This was the moment he had been waiting for: the chance to dance with Emily. Jack enters the gymnasium, sunglasses and green tie-dye shirt and all, and Nase plays some disco from the 70’s or 80’s, and when Jack and Emily appraoch each other, it all just happens naturally, mythically even. Jack dances like a complete dork and people are trying not to laugh, but Emily loves it. Yeah, Jack was a dork but he was Emily’s dork. This scene marks the happily ever after between Jack and Emily.

The Big Match

The wrestling match between Jack and Brad is an absolute brawl, with the referees caring less about traditional rules because they don't get paid enough for this. Steel chairs, slams on the wooden gymnasium floor outside the mat, even interferences by Brad's clique are on the menu. Of course Brad’s friends keep interfering. They’re standing together on the sidelines like they normally do, cheering on Brad and literally throwing jabs at Jack. Nase won’t stand for it, so when Randy hits Jack with a clothesline and knocks him down to the floor, Nase rushes over and punches Randy in the face. This leads to a chain of reactions, with Wesley and Leonardo also fighting Nase, and Miles joining in on the brawl. Even Brad wants to get some. With it now four on three, and Jack slowly getting back up to his feet, the odds are still in Brad’s favor.

Suddenly, Paul barges in through the double doors to the gym, microphone in hand. He stands on the opposite end of the gym and cuts a promo. “God bless our troops, God bless America, and GENTLEMEN… LET’s! DO! THIS!!!” Paul runs to join in on the fight, and it’s absolute chaos. After a moment of chaos and fighting, Jack and Brad are standing alone together with the two friend groups taking their fight outside of the gymnasium. Some went into the locker rooms, others went outside, and others went to the stage up the steps and behind the curtain. Jack grabbed a steel chair, and once both guys got to their feet, Jack swung the metal chair and nailed Brad right in the head. Brad fell to the floor and is knocked unconscious. Jack dropped the chair, then dropped down to his knees beside Brad, and covered Brad for the pin. The referee got in position and slapped the mat, “One! Two! Three!” Everyone gets up to their feet and cheers. The underdog finally did it. Jack, exhausted, bruised, and beaten, gets his hand raised by the referee, and the ref blows the whistle and points at Jack. Jack gets up and manages to get up to his feet. Jack the Guy, is now Jack the Champion. Jack looks up to Heaven and thanks God and remembers his brother Jamie. The two friend groups had stopped fighting. Jack’s friends Nase, Miles, and Paul walked back to Jack first, with Brad’s friends crawling back in shame. “Jamie would be proud.” Paul said to Jack. That line made Jack tear up a bit. Nase and Paul lift Jack up on their shoulders. Jack raises his arms in victory. This was the greatest day of Jack’s life, even better than getting lucky with Emily was honoring Jamie and becoming the wrestling champion of Lakeside Private High School. Speaking of Emily, she came over, and Nase and Paul set Jack down. Jack and Emily walked to each other and they hugged and spun around.

Stand-up Comedy & Epilogue

Jack, Nase, Paul, and Miles have enough respect now that they requested to do stand-up for the Friday community meeting and Principal Lynn and some of the teachers agreed to let them do stand-up. Everyone sits down for the community meeting, and the four boys grab four microphones and get ready to do their thing. The crowd chants for Jack as they walked up to the stage.

Paul: “Hey everyone. We’re doing stand-up today as improv and not scripted.”

Nase: “Yeah because eff memorizing a script!”

Jack: “You know, Paul, since we do pretty well as a team in wrestling, how about we play tonsil hockey together next?”

Paul: “If you insist.” He takes out a breath freshener and sprays some in his mouth.

Nase: “Woah! That escalated quickly!”

Miles: “I’d like to play tonsil hockey with anime catgirls.”

Paul chokes on the breath freshener and coughs. “Boy that stuff is strong.”

Jack waves at the camera: “Thank you very much!”

The End