Dying In The Sun

A random thought...

Lying in an open field, sun high and bright,

Dying and wasting away beneath the light.

Seems the most pleasant way in which to perish,

While my life seeps out in pretty pools of crimson.

The pain is terrible, the shock setting in,

Yet the sunlight calms my troubled soul,

Providing some relief from the chaos,

My fear of the unknown...

In delirium a light smile plays upon my lips,

Though I'm not completely sure as to why.

Still, I sense a symmetry to my beautiful demise,

Instilled with the notion I'll soon be at peace.

The Sun, the birds and trees.

Reviews

[William Liston]

Damn. This piece really hit me. I like how the speaker in this poem seems to find self-fulfillment and happiness, not in his accomplishments while he was living, but in the peace and serenity in the scene of his death. I also like the contrast you portrayed through imagery, with the bright day creating calmness and the bleeding man adding an eerie feel. The last line is my favorite ... it's so simple but complete. It's not what I expected, but nevertheless, it builds on the nuances conveyed in the second-to-last stanza. A perfect ending.

- William Liston

[Lovecraft]

Thank you. Sorry for not commenting, the last couple weeks I've been too busy to do anything.

[Valentine]

Nicely put together. I had a friend die last Monday. They were on the way home from the cancer hospital where her husband was being treated. He drove, thought she had fallen asleep. She was gone, yet he was the sick one. Nice fast way to go. K

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. Wow, what a bizarre thing to happen...
At least it was a relatively peaceful way to go, I guess.

[aLittlePain]

The over arching notion it that one might find peace there. I like your last 3 lines, something quite pretty there. Nice musing. R xo

[Lovecraft]

Thanks. A death laden with beauty would be the way to go. ;)

[DIVYA]

Still, I sense a symmetry to my beautiful demise,
Instilled with the notion I'll soon be at peace.

The Sun, the birds and trees.


The word choice is new and impressive. I like 'symmetry to a demise' very much. A great poem.

[Lovecraft]

Danke! Haven't been on lately due to power being off from 70+ mile winds.

[micky]

This piece is excellent I love the visionary you used and the flow is great.....
well done

[Lovecraft]

Danke, Fraulein!

[.]

Certainly expressed as a random thought, but an interesting musing nonetheless.

That is the mystery of death; that it can be so feared yet on a subconcious level, also possibly peaceful. And i guess until it happens to each of us we will never really know the truth behind it.

A thought provoking little piece. Nicely expressed and written.