Never

When you know you can never stop.

My girlfriend is dead. She's laying beside me. The odd thing is: I killed her. Yes, I did it. Don't know why actually. It just happened. We were talking about a type of soup when I did it. It felt like I blacked out but didn't; if that makes sense. What I mean is I didn't mean to kill her but I did it anyway.

There we were, sitting on our comfy couch. The late summer breeze seeping through the window, the neighbors children playing hopscotch, and the television on low volume. Sounds amazing right? Wrong. Something was off. It was like my brain knew something was odd. It was like an itch on my temporal lobe. It nagged and pestered until I did something. So, while she was talking about cream of mushroom, I attacked. Don't know where the knife came from. Maybe I had it in my hand the entire time of the soup conversation? I'm still confused about the whole ordeal. What I can't understand the most is the blood. There was so much blood. On the couch, on the floor, and around my mouth. I believe I pulled out her eye with my teeth. That would explain the blood around my mouth. I think I even enjoyed the taste of her eye and licked the socket for residue.

The other spittle of blood came from the multiple stab wounds I've done to her. I couldn't stop with just one. I had to have more wounds peppering her body. You wouldn't understand but it made my art appeared beautiful. Yes, I called killing my girlfriend a work of art. The best part was her screams. It rung through my head like a bell. So rich and terrifying. It was like listening to life for the first time. Or life ending I suppose. As her screams died down and the high worn away I did the next thing anybody would have done in a situation like this: I made love to her. While her body was still slightly warm I penetrated her for the last time. And, it felt amazing. It was like having sex for the first time. I loved every minute of it. As I released my seeds into her greying lips I whimpered 'I love you'. I knew I was done with her after that. I knew there will never be another her. That did sadden me. So did seeing flashing lights outside of my home.

 I'm telling my story to you because I'm not done yet. Yes, I escaped before the police got to me. So no, you are not safe. I need to feel that high again. I'm guessing I will never satisfy this new craving. My body needs it, actually. Even if I need to take it from loved ones or strangers, I will get my high. But, I will wait patiently. While you watching television and you feel a chill run down your spine, just know that I am watching. Waiting. Patiently.

Author's Note

I really don't think this is my best work actually. It's not disturbing enough. It's not me.

Reviews

[KAREN]

Not disturbing enough. This was scary, eerie! Oh my goodness, it was great! More please!

[Lord of mad men]

I love this! This is wonderful. You did a wonderful job. This is very well worded. Keep doing what you ate doing. Yours truely a mad lord

[Mifa]

I think I have achieved that 'Super Bluebird Fan' status to not even comment critically on any piece Bluebird writes, cause I reckon I'd like it by default. All love for my buddy BlueBird91.

[Bluebird91]

nooooooo :( I didn't want you to read it till I finished editing it! but thank you friend. and I wanted you to be critical! I wrote this on the verge of sleep and I was half conscious. I couldn't fully sleep unless I type my thoughts down. I really expect to be criticized by this piece because even I did not proof read it.

[Mifa]

Lol. Well if you want me to be critical about the piece, I'd say your last sentence in your author's Note pretty much sums up my critical take. It was a beautiful gory piece as can be expected, but in a whole, the tale felt forced. Didn't plan on saying much since I figured you were still going to edit it.

[Bluebird91]

The more I read it the more I cringe. This is literally a forth grade piece compared to my work :( I don't have a certain flare in the story. Usually my stories scare me sometimes but this one.... This one questions my ability as a horror novelist.

[Mifa]

Easy, now your comments are scaring me. I guess that should assure you of your ability to evoke horror.

[Marilyn Philips]

I'm not a fan of horror, but I think you did a good job capturing the duality of "what have I done?" and "LOOK at what I have done" pride of the narrator.

The biggest issue with this piece of writing is it needs to be broken up into different paragraphs. "There we were..." should be the beginning of the second paragraph. "So, while she was talking" could be the beginning of the 3rd, and so on. It will make it easier for the reader, and is a good way to showcase the thought process of the narrator.

"What I meant was I didn't mean to kill her but I did it anyway." should become "What I mean is, I didn't mean to kill her, but I did it anyway." I'd also go back through the work and decide what tense everything should be in, because the narrator starts out in present tense, and ends up in future tense, and everything in the middle is past. Just try to make the narration clear and consistent. This is something I personally struggle with, and usually it takes a few times reading through before I get it where I want it.

[Bluebird91]

Thank you for that. I was half conscious when I wrote it and I haven't read it again till now. How my brain works is if an idea pops up in my head then I have to type it or write it somewhere so I can sleep. I do expect to see a lot of errors since I didn't go back to read or edit it till today. I see what you're talking about :). Again, thank you.

[Marilyn Philips]

I totally understand, getting it out while it is fresh in the mind is so important! :)